AttentionDeficitDisorder
by AttentionDeficitDisorder
Summary: A mission needs Neji, Shikamaru, Lee, Naruto, Sasuke and Shino to form a band and 'tour' to Mist, taking out a group of Nin. There's lots to do and limited time! With hidden danger everywhere, the team are struggling to make it work! ShikaNeji/SasuNaru
1. Day One

**A/N Well, I was on the way back from work, with my dad driving when this story hit me :3 So uhmn, yeah. Enjoy, bishies! **

**Couples that are likely to appear: Shika/Neji Sasu/Naru Those are the most likely, but don't hold me to it. I don't have this whole thing planned. So I also don't know how many chapter's it'll have :3 It's also kinda AU, 'cos Sasuke's come back.**

**This will have bad language. I'm going to re-emphasize that. **_**THIS HAS VERY BAD LANGUAGE!!!!! OK!!!!**_

**There. Now, on with the story! Oh, wait. Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not me. I make no money :3 Songs used in this: Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright, I Want Candy - The Bangles. I got the breathing exercises from realize that there is some confusion as to if buses and instruments like electric guitars and such exist, but this is primarily an AU story following the manga as close as possible. That means that they live in their world, but with modern day technology like amps and mics and stuff. Sorry for the confusion XD;;**

Neji had been standing outside the Hokage's mission room for what felt like an hour now. Glancing at his watch, he realized that only twenty five minutes had passed and that he was _still_ too early. Neji closed his eyes and sighed before sitting down on one of the chairs screwed into the wall, sinking into a meditation so deep, it was as if he was asleep.

Or, as a certain Uzumaki Naruto thought, dead.

A loud scream and a sharp slap to the face brought the unaware Hyuuga quickly back to the present as Naruto jumped onto him at lightning speed and delievered these gifts to him.

"NEJI! ARE YOU ALIVE?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE!? NEJI? NE-"

Neji clamped his hand over Naruto's gaping and extremely annoying mouth giving him the best Hyuuga glare he could muster while he raised his other hand and tried to shove the blond boy of him.

"You're an idiot. Have you never heard of meditation?"

"Nrfgh! Dommph lukh ah muh li ah!"

Neji quickly removed his hand, wiping the drool from Naruto's mouth across a convenient orange sleeve as the whiskered boy shouted out his disapproval at being shoved off. Neji let out a disgruntled huff of air and tried to ignore Naruto.

"Am I disturbing something?"

The two startled ninja quickly turned to the voice coming from the doorway where a sleepy looking boy with a high pony tail was standing. Neji blinked.

"Disturbing something, Nara-san?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Well... There seemed to be a lot of shouting going on, and Naruto was sitting on your lap."

Neji's frown deepened as he stood up and crossed his arms, facing the smirking nin.

"I was meditating when this _idiot_ leapt on me screaming. There was nothing... Provocative about that."

Neji could feel his face burning up as he turned around and strode into the Hokage's office, glaring at Shizune and Tsunade before sitting down, daring anyone to mention the disturbance that probably the whole building would've heard a few seconds earlier.

Tsunade had an infuriating smile as she beckoned Shikamaru and Naruto into the room.

"We're waiting for Sasuke, Lee and Shino. When they arrive, I'll brief you on your new mission."

They sat in silence until Sasuke coolly walked in and sat down, dipping his head in respect.

"Shino and Lee are on their way."

"Che. Take your time, bastard!"

Sasuke glared at Naruto.

"Shut it, dumb ass."

Naruto jumped up, fists clenched. Tsunade slammed her hands down on the table.

"Hey! Sit down, Naruto!"

Naruto froze. He quickly turned to Tsunade.

"But, 'Baa-chan!-"

"No buts! Sit!"

Naruto pouted and sat down, glaring at his smirking rival.

Neji felt decidedly awkward. He knew that Sasuke and Naruto fought constantly, but everyone had called it friendly banter and he had never witnessed it first hand. To him, it sounded like there were going to be broken bones before long. Ever since Sasuke had come back from Sound, there had been this lingering coldness about him that no-one but Naruto could break.

The slowly rising tension disappeared as Lee burst into the room with Shino following more sedately behind.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY! I HOPE YOU ALL SLEPT WELL IN THE THROES OF YOUTH! I AM SORRY THAT I AM LATE! I WILL NEVER ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN, OR I WILL HOP A THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHA, ON ONE HAND!"

"Rare species of Dragonfly."

Tsunade nodded as the two shinobi sat down.

"Right. I'll fill you in now. As you know, Mist has become more and more agressive and there are several A rank missing nin that are known to be hiding there. Well, they've formed a group that we don't know the name of, but they've been selectively killing."

Neji leant forward, interested.

"They've only been killing young men with a musical talent. Why the hell they're doing this, we don't know. That's what we need you to find out. We need you to collect the information doing whatever it takes to get close to them. Get them drunk, evesdrop, whatever. Then, once you've got the nessesscery information kill them there and then or ask to send in reinforcements. Got it?"

Everyone nodded.

"Now, questions?"

Shikamaru raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"How do we get into that circle of people?"

Tsunade smiled.

"Well, the best plan would be for you to form a "Band" and perform your way to Mist, gaining support until you're an irresistable target to the missin nin. It should be relatively easy as you're all young men and in your own rights, geniuses."

Sasuke scoffed and looked pointedly at Naruto.

"Naruto has a huge reserve of chakra and is the key componant in the dynamic you need to create, Sasuke. But before I go any further I need you to do something for me."

She turned on her swivel chair and switched on a small CD player.

"Memorize this!"

A soft, lilting tune began to play.

_I heard there was a secret chord that David played,_

_And it pleased the Lord, _

_But you don't really care for music, do you?_

_It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, _

_The minor fall, the major lift,_

_The baffled king composing hallelujah._

_Hallelujah, hallelujah,_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah._

Tsunade reached over and turned it off.

"Memorized? Right. Is there anyone here who really, really can't sing?"

Shino slowly raised his hand.

"Fair enough. Ok, Shikamaru, stand up."

"... I'm not singing."

Tsunade smiled sweetly.

"It's an order from the Hokage. Now sing, lazy-ass."

Shikamaru sighed and got to his feet, muttering about troublesome women before closing his eyes and opening his mouth. He sang it perfectly, from note to note. Tsunade frowned.

"Good. That's very good. But there's no emotion. Ok, Lee, you try."

Lee jumped up and started to bellow his way through the song before Tsunade waved her hand hurriedly at him, trying to get him to stop.

"Lee, you're missing notes. Don't look so down, you were doing better than most people would."

Lee grinned and sat down.

"Naruto?"

Naruto stood up and started to sing. He was doing well, melodies pouring from him as his voice climbed higher and higher,

And then broke with a loud squeak and a drop of several octaves. Neji snorted and Sasuke down right snickered as Naruto turned bright red and hurriedly sat down, looking like a kicked puppy.

"It's OK Naruto! You did better than me!"

"Thanks, Lee. You were awesome though."

Lee beamed again.

"Alright, alright. Sasuke, your go."

"Hnn."

Sasuke stood up and opened his mouth. Neji inwardly grinned. After doing extensive research on the Uchiha's, he had found that every single one of them was a semi-tone to a tone flat, no matter what they sang. He was looking forward to this.

Sasuke was stopped five seconds into his rendition, even earlier than Lee.

"Sasuke-teme! You're worse than me!"

Naruto was practically rolling on the floor in tears of laughter.

"Shut the hell up!"

"You're like, three notes flat!"

"I said shut the hell up, you blonde freak!"

Tsunade intervened before there was an actual fight in her office.

"Ok, Ok! Neji."

A sudden spasm of nervousness grasped his gut and twisted it. He slowly rose to his feet and inhaled deeply, recalling the exact melody.

"_I heard there was a secret chord that David played,_

_And it pleased the Lord, _

_But you don't really care for music... Do you?"_

He could feel the notes and lyrics welling up inside him and pouring out in a waterfall of feeling and sound. He felt overwhelmed and dizzy, the room was spinning and he could feel his voice climbing higher and higher, the emotion dripping from the words as he rolled them around his mouth and released them into the waiting air.

_"It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, _

_The minor fall, the major lift,_

_The baffled king composing hallelujah..._

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah..."_

Neji's opened his eyes as the last note softely died away, startled because he couldn't remember shutting them as he drew in breath after breath, trying to slow his racing heart. Everyone was sitting silently, staring at him. Neji inwardly cursed. He must've been really awful, maybe even worse than the Uchiha and that was why they didn't stop him, because it was so terrible and -

"We have a lead singer!"

Neji blinked.

"What?!"

"What do you mean, what? That was awesome, dattebyo! That was like... Amazing! Where did you learn to sing like that? You should be a singer!"

Tsunade grinned at Naruto's outburst before turning to Neji.

"That was perfect, Neji. It was in tune, breath taking and had the exact amount of emotion needed. You're the lead singer."

Her smile dissapeared.

"And therefore the most likely target. You are going to be the basic bait for them, luring them in and finding out as much as possible before taking them out. If we knew more about this it would be a basic infiltration mission but as it stands we need you to be as believeable as possible. Do you accept this?"

Neji nodded, feeling shocked and a little dazed.

"Good! Now, we need someone to play drums, keyboard, guitar, bass and a tech. Any preferences?"

Shikamaru raised his hand.

"I can already play the piano, so I'll do keyboard."

"I wanna do guitar, dattebyo!"

"Drums are the instument of youth! Inspiring the driving force of joy and the beat of the heart! Please, allow me the honor of drumming!"

Sasuke and Shino looked at each other.

"Tech."

"Hnn. Guess I'm bass then."

Tsunade clapped her hands.

"Brilliant! Now, we need a name that's going to appeal to the fourteen to twenty one age group as that's the general type these nins go for. Suggestions?"

There was a moment or two of silent contemplation before Shikamaru, once again, raised his hand.

"Attention Deficit Disorder?"

Neji slowly thought it through. It had a ring to it and would certainly appeal to the designated year group.

"Shorten it to one word, though. It'll look better then."

Shikamaru nodded at Neji.

"Hn. Is there anything else?"

"Just one more thing. I've managed to arrange a tour bus, body guards-"

"We don't need BODY guards, 'Baa-chan!"

"It's for appearences, Naruto! Now, as I was saying... Oh, and a whole new wardrobe. Meet tomorrow morning at eight by the front gate, Shikamaru is Team Leader. That is all."

The six ninja nodded and disappeared in a poof of chakra smoke and displaced air. Tsunade turned to Shizune with a small frown.

"Did I make the right choice?"

Shizune nodded.

"Hyuuga-san's a wonderful singer and I'm sure that they can all look after themselves. I wouldn't worry. The worst that'll happen is that there'll be a fall out within the band."

Tsunade laughed.

"You're right. Sake time!"

Shizune rolled her eyes.

--------------------------

By eight AM next morning there was a fine drizzle and they sky was dark with clouds, low slung and promising heavier rain. Neji, Sasuke, Shino and Lee were all huddled under a tree which was not giving sufficient cover. They'd been told to dress light as they had whole new wardrobes and to just bring a few personal possesions as Tsunade had arranged for a whole load of rock star like items to be placed for them. Even though Neji was trained to deal with lack of personal space and much worse living conditions he still wasn't looking forward to spending three weeks cooped up in the bus with five other people. Looking over at Sasuke and Shino, it was obvious they were thinking the same thing.

Ten minutes later Naruto and Shikamaru joined them, shivering slightly from the cold.

"Alright, listen up. On this trip, we're not ninja. That means no Byakugen, Sharingan, Bugs-bursting-out-of-skin, Kagebunshin, or super-human shows of power, because that would be troublesome to explain. Got it? Nothing. We're members of a band, so we have to act like one. We've got three long weeks ahead and in that time we've got to write a few of our own songs. Tsunade had her aides write eight, but they didn't have enough time to get the other four or so ready. We've also got to learn how to play the instruments at a professional level. Neji and I are sorted because we can both do what we need to, and Shino's got experience with computers. So you, Lee, Sasuke and Naruto are going to have to work harder than the rest of us. We've also got to act like best friends. Casual buddies don't usually form a band. It's troublesome, but we've got to be close. And lucky, lucky us, we have three weeks on a tiny moving vehichle to do that. Now, there's four bunks and one double so we'll have to allocate two people to the double and have everyone else in the singles. It'll be no problem."

Neji was feeling more miserable than before. Sharing a bus was bad enough, but a _bed?!_ That was just mean.

"How will we work out who's sharing the double, Nara-san?"

"Shikamaru, Neji. We're best friends, remember? No "Sans". I don't think we should even really bother with "Kun"'s either... It's simple. We'll just draw straws. The two with the shortest one will share the double."

Neji nodded.

"Oh, one more thing. I hardly think I need to tell you all this, but as we're living in such close quarters, we've got to keep it clean. I know that most bands trash their bus, but while we're getting there I think we should keep it clean. Troublesome, even though we'll all chip in. But you need to keep your hygine up. I'm sure none of you want to share a bed with a biological hazard. When we get near Mist, we can trash the bus to make it look more authentic."

At that moment, there was a loud honk and a black bus pulled up beside them, ADD sprayed on the side in a raggedy font.

"Well... Here's our ride. Say goodbye to personal space."

One by one they climbed into the bus, waving a miserable hello to the cheery bus driver before turning to the inside.

"Wow..."

There was a collective sigh of amazement. Half way down the bus, there was what seemed like two walls seperating the two sections of the bus from each other. On the driver's side of the bus was a collection of sofas with a guitar, bass guitar, keyboard, computer, amps and a mike all lying on them. Attached into the floor next to it was a drum kit that could be screwed and unscrewed for concerts. A little further back was a fridge, cupboards, tables and chairs, all attached to the ground. Silently they wandered through the partition, greeted with the sight of four tiny bunks, two to each wall and a double bed that looked like it would fit one and a quarter people.

Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Nara-... Shikamaru, that bed is tiny. I don't think two will fit."

Shikamaru eyed up the bed.

"No, two'll fit. Just. It'll be a squeeze, but no-one's sleeping on the floor or couch. It's too uncomfortable and it'll cause unrest and unhappiness within the group."

"Hnn. Where's the bathroom?"

Neji froze. He needed a bathroom. He had to share two rooms and a bed with six other nin, so there was no WAY he could do this without a bathroom. Nu-uh. Not happening.

"Ah! Found it, dattebyo!"

Naruto had run off and seemingly asked the driver. Behind the little partition seperating the driver from the rest of them, there was steps down to a small but clean bathroom, equipped with toilet; sink and a shower. Neji sighed in relief.

"You boys go grab yer bunks, an' then we'll get movin'."

The bus driver had a rough but gentle voice which contrasted with his great bulk. The six shinobi nodded and trooped back to the bunks.

"Let's get the troublesome buisness of choosing bunks out of the way."

Shikamaru reached into his back pocket and withdrew six strips of paper, two shorter than the rest. He turned his back on them and arranged the paper so that they all looked equal. He held his hand out to Shino who drew one of the long ones. Neji picked the one nearest to him, sighing when it came out shorter than Shino's. Fate had once again dealt him an annoying hand.

Naruto, Sasuke and Lee all managed to pick the longer ones leaving Shikamaru with a short one and a scowl on his face.

"How troublesome... Looks like we're sharing, Neji."

"So it would seem."

"Right, go pick your bunks."

After a few moments of scuffling everyone had their chosen bunks and were standing around, not sure what to do next. Shikamaru was inspecting the walls as Neji sighed again and took another look at the double. It really was tiny.

"There are cupboards here with our names on them. We should put our stuff in them before we do anything else."

They nodded and went over to their designated closets, pulling them open.

"What the _hell!?"_

Neji pulled out what looked like a single strip of pale bluey green leather out of his cupboard, eyes flashing with anger and confusion. There was a moment of shocked silence before Naruto, Sasuke and Shikamaru burst out into loud guffaws.

"I-It's a skirt!"

"Yes, Naruto. I can see that. Why is it in_ my_ closert?!"

Neji yanked it out and shook it, quickly bending down and picking out the scrap of paper that had fallen out of it.

"Read it out, dattebyo!"

Neji cleared his throat.

"Neji, I forgot to mention this but the group of nin tend to go for the more feminine members of the band. Since you are the lead singer, putting you as the feminine one increases your attractiveness as bait and will hopefully make them act sooner. - Tsunade."

Neji's fists clenched around the paper, veins popping as he felt his composure crack and start to shatter.

"I. Am. Not. Dressing. Like. A. GIRL!"

"Hey, Neji_-chan._ Let's see what else you've got."

Sasuke leapt over Naruto and flung open the closert, pulling out more skirts, gothic tops and bags of accesories before stopping with a jerk.

"... You are not going to believe this."

With an evil grin only Orochimaru could rival, Sasuke reached deeper, and pulled out five short dresses, each trailing miles of ribbons, lace and petticoats. Sasuke held one up to the silently fuming Hyuuga.

"How do you even get into one of these?"

"Tht's the most troublesome looking item of clothing I've ever seen."

Naruto's eyes were shining with mischeif.

"I think you've got to put it over your head, get your arms in the sleeves, do up the ribbons and lace and the... Is that a corset?"

Sasuke's mouth was twitching.

"There are shoes and stockings in there too."

By now Naruto had half fallen over and was weakly clutching Shikamaru, laughing so hard it looked like he was having spasms. Neji was furious.

"I. Am. _Not_. Wearing. _Any_. Of. That."

Shikamaru snorted.

"Awh, come on _princess_. Let's get you all prettied up!"

Naruto fell over.

"No!"

"Come on, dattebyo!"

"You couldn't get me in that thing if you tried_."_

Sasuke held up a small bag.

"Tsunade's left you a shaving kit, too."

At this Shikamaru started laughing, joining the spasaming Naruto on the floor, tears falling from Naruto's eyes. Neji's narrowed with rage and wounded pride as Lee started to give him a speech.

"I think it's a wonderful opportunity for you to show your feminie side, Neji! You should embrace your nobility and grace! As Gai-Sensei once said, it is very important for a ninja to be delicate as well as deadly! Wearing this will be a great boost for your abilitys! I almost envy you! Use this chance to the fullest!"

Neji couldn't bear it anymore. His brain felt like it was swimming and he knew his cheeks were crimson from embarrasment and anger as Lee stuck up his thumb in his infamous Good-Guy pose. He couldn't bear it anymore.

"It's obvious that Tsunade feels that _I _am the only one here who can do the most for this mission. Now, if you'll excuse me."

And with that, Neji turned and stormed down the length of the bus, stomping down the steps and walking into the bathroom with a bang, locking the door after him. Shikamaru drew in breath after breath to try and calm himself down.

"Mah... Troublesome... We shouldn't've laughed so much."

Naruto was still giggling weakly.

"Yeah... I guess we were too harsh..."

Sasuke nodded slowly.

"Hnn. I wouldn't want to wear that stuff."

Lee chimed in.

"Plus he's got to shave his manly leg hair and put on make-up!"

"Then sing."

Shikamaru nodded to Shino and Lee.

"I'll go apologize."

Naruto grinned and clapped him on the back.

"When he comes out we'll all apologize."

"Yosh!"

Sasuke just nodded.

"Hey... We don't _all_ have get up like that, do we?"

The three boys paled and ran over to their closerts, yanking them open and sighing in relief once they realized that no dresses or skirts were going to jump out at them. Just several items of very tight clothing in lurid colours.

"... It's not as bad as Neji's..."

Shikamaru held up a pair of black and lime green striped leather trousers and nodded.

"Yeah... I'm going to go talk to him."

Shikamaru stuck his hands in his pockets and sauntered down the carpeted hallway, waving to the driver who informed them that they were going to get moving now. Shikamaru nodded and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Neji?"

Neji jumped. He was sitting on the floor, arms crossed and glowering at the opposite wall as he picked up the pieces of his crumbling composure and assured himself that no-one from Konoha was ever going to see him in that hidious thing.

"Neji, are you alright?"

Neji made a noncomitted grunt.

"Well... The driver say's were going to get moving any second now. So watch out."

Neji grunted again.

"Open the door?"

"No."

A loud roar drowned out Shikamaru's next words as the driver revved the engine and started to move the bus forward. Neji gripped the sides of the tub. After a moment or two the noise of the engine died down and the rocking motion of the vehicle slowed. Neji slowly let go of the tub.

"Neji, please open the door."

Neji made a low growling noise, strode over to the door, unlocked it and flung it open.

"What do you want now, Nara?"

Shikamaru winced and brought his hand up to the back of his head.

"I came here to apologize, Neji."

"Hmph."

"I'm sorry for teasing you about the stuff you have to wear and for laughing at you. I now realize how humiliating it must be for you as you have to sing, dress like that and then be the main target."

Neji sniffed.

"I won't laugh at you again?"

Neji crossed his arms, his coolness regained.

"I should think not."

Shikamaru let out a lazy grin.

"Maah, I'm glad thats sorted. Let's go check out those instruments, then."

Shikamaru turned around and walked back to the couches, plonking himself down next to the huge keyboard, switching it on and experimentally hitting one or two of the keys before playing a simple rendition of some nursery rhyme. Shikamaru grinned and hit a couple of buttons, memorizing the different sounds it played. Naruto, Sasuke, Lee and Shino all emerged from the bedroom looking slightly sheepish, sitting down next to their designated instruments. Naruto walked up to Neji and put on a hopeful grin.

"We're all sorry for laughing at you, Neji. We won't do it again!"

Neji nodded and Naruto skipped off, picking up the shiny black and orange guitar before looking up at everyone.

"Er... How do I play a guitar?"

Neji walked over and took it out of Naruto's hands, plugged it in and waited until the static died away.

"Like this."

Neji showed Naruto how to hold the guitar correctly and positioned his hands over the G chord.

"Now, strum with the plectrum."

Naruto took the small piece of plastic from Neji's fingers and dragged it across the strings, grinning as a hesitant but correct chord was played.

"Hey, how do you know how to play guitar, Neji?"

"It was a training program. Someone played a tune on the guitar and Hinata and I had to memorize it and play it back."

"Ahh! Do you know how to play anything else?"

"No. I memorized it perfectly first time, so I didn't need to continue with the training. Music instruments are not what a Hyuuga would usually fight with."

Sasuke stood up and walked over to the DVD player, rumaging through the DVDs until he found one that looked promising.

"Hn. I found a music video with all the instruments we're playing in it."

Shino looked up from his computer.

"I've found sheet music."

Shikamaru nodded and turned to Shino.

"Print out a few songs that use all of our instruments. What video's that, Sasuke?"

"Basic tutorial for bass and guitar. There are other ones for drums, keyboard and singing too."

"Put it on."

Sasuke slid the disk into the drive and hit the play button. A cheery, annoying voice started to talk.

"Hello and welcome to Band DIY! My name is Cynthia and I'm going to show you how to make a band!"

Neji winced at the screeching sound of her voice.

"First off, let's start with the guitar and bass! If you have your instruments beside you, pick them up and get into a space with lots of room! We don't want any injuries now!"

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other before grabbing their instuments, plugging them in and standing four feet apart, facing the TV.

"I am so going to beat you, bastard!"

"In your dreams, dumb ass!"

Naruto turned to Sasuke but before he could do anything, the voice rang out again.

"Ok! Let's start with the guitarist! Feel free to stop this DVD at anytime to practice, or if it is going too fast. Now, place your fingers for the G chord, like so."

A picture popped up on the TV and Naruto quickly placed his fingers over the correct strings.

"Now, with the pick, strum like so."

The TV played the G chord six times before stopping.

"Now it's your turn."

Naruto played the chords back perfectly, looking over and grinning at the serious looking Uchiha.

"See? I'm awesome! The best here!"

Sasuke scoffed.

"It was hardly difficult!"

Once again the grating voice rang out. Neji closed his eyes and sank into another meditation, calculating how long his current clothes would last before he had to go and wear one of the monstrosities hiding in his closert. He calculated around three days, provided nothing happened to them, but he knew he had to start wearing them sooner rather than later as they looked difficult to sing in and probably were very uncomfortable to wear. Neji inwardly sighed. He'd start off in one of those disgusting skirts and then move onto the dresses. An hour and twenty minues later a slightly sweaty blonde flopped down next to him, the bass and guitar tutorial over as Sasuke did the same on the other couch.

Neji turned to Shikamaru with an eyebrow raised. Shikamaru grinned and nodded his head in an affermative.

"Alright. You two were really good, we'll have you up to professional level within the week. Lee, it's your turn."

Lee had been sitting there, quivering with excitement and now he jumped up with a loud, triumphant cry.

"YATTA! Finally!"

He leapt over to the drums and sat down on the stool, grabbing the two sticks and waiting eagerly for Cythia's A-Thousand-Years-Of-Pain voice.

"Lee, no leaping over sofas and people, remember?"

Lee gasped and then nodded, looking ashamed.

"Hello again! We are now going to move onto a very important part of a band. The drums!"

"ALRIGHT!"

"Lee, shut it!"

"Ahh, sorry, sorry, Shikamaru!"

"Now, this is the tomtom, the snare, the crash cymbal..."

Neji closed his eyes and sank into another meditation. This time working out the pros and cons of having to share the bed with Shikamaru. He knew Lee kicked and Naruto was probably one of the types who spread himself all over the bed, taking up all the room and covers and generally being annoying. Shino would've been bearable, as long as no bugs were creeping around and getting into his clothes and hair. He was completely indifferent to Sasuke and Shikamaru didn't seem like he'd have any habits to watch out for. Unless lazyness was catching in close proximity...

Neji was quickly brought out of this thoughts as a drum stick flew into the back of his head, hitting him with such force that it snapped in two. There was a shocked moment of silence within the rumbling bus.

"NEJI!? NEJI!? NEJI, CAN YOU HEAR ME, DATTE-"

Neji, once again shoved Naruto off him as the idiotic blonde leapt onto his lap, grabbing Neji's shirt.

"Naruto, get _off_ me. A drumstick across the head is not going to cause me any damage, let alone kill me!"

"NEJI MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I AM SO SORRY! IT WAS NOT AN INTENTIONAL ATTACK ON YOUR PERSON! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I SHALL RUN TO THE GROCERS EVERY MORNING AND PREPARE YOU A WONDEFUL, YOUTHFUL BREAKFAST AND CLEAN YOUR WEAPONS AND MAKE SURE NO-ONE DISTURBS YOU WHILE YOU TRAIN!"

Neji sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Lee, it's _fine._ Don't worry."

Sasuke's lips twiched as Shikamaru drawled out an explanation.

"He got over excited. The woman told him they were going on to drum solos."

Neji rolled his eyes at Shikamaru, warned Naruto never to jump on him again even if he _was_ dead and told Lee to watch where he flung his drumsticks. Lee nodded and drew out another stick, finishing his tutorial without another mishap.

"Skip the keyboard bit, it's too troublesome and I know it all."

Sasuke nodded and hit the next button.

"Now you have all your instruments, you need a lead singer!"

Neji slowly stood up, nervousness twisting his gut again. He had no idea why he still got nervous before he sang, it wasn't as if it was life threatining or anything.

"Now, we're going to do some simple breathing exercises. It is very important for a singer to breathe properly as he or she sings. A singer does not need to 'force' or 'push' air through the vocal chords to produce a good strong sound, doing so creates too much pressure against the chords, preventing them from operating correctly which can cause damage to the voice. The stomach area should move naturally inward toward the end of the breath and the stomach should not be 'sucked in'. Instead the abdominal area should remain expanded to the level it was when you inhaled and allowed to gradually decrease naturally at the end of the breath.

This is where control comes into play - the singer expands the lungs by inhaling and 'controls' the amount of air expelled when singing a note by allowing the muscle support system to remain expanded - this doesn't mean the stomach is pushed out, rather that it is blown up like a balloon when the air goes in and the singer slows down the natural rate at which it goes down. Breathing correctly uses the whole of the lungs so that more air is available, the singer then uses the natural action of the muscles (diaphragm and abdominals) surrounding the lungs to control the amount of air that is exhaled when singing."

Neji was trying to remember all of this as the womans voice went on and on.

"The following exercise may make you feel tired at first, but keep at it. To find out if you are breathing correctly, place a hand on your belly button. This area should expand first when you breathe in and then spread upwards until your chest is expanded but don't lift the shoulders or push the stomach out. Practice the following exercise."

Neji narrowed his eyes at the woman who was obviously trying to humiliate him and placed his hand on his stomach, breathing in. He threw the TV a satisfied smirk as his body responded the way it was supposed to.

"Now, lie flat on your back and place your hands on your waist, fingers pointing towards your belly button."

Neji's smirk faltered as Naruto snorted from somewhere behind him. With what Neji hoped was great grace and dignity he lowed himself on the floor and lay down, placing his hands on his waist.

"Focus on filling up your stomach from the bottom to the top taking a slow deep breath. The aim is not to fill yourself to bursting but to inhale enough air so that you can feel the difference between a shallow breath taken when breathing from the chest. You should feel your stomach rise and your hands being raised gently up and outward until you feel your chest expanding. The expansion is not only at the front of the body but also to the sides and back as well."

"It looks like you've suddenly gotten fat, Neji."

Neji's eyebrow twitched at Naruto's remark.

"Breath out slowly to a count of five."

Shutting out Naruto's sniggers he completed the exercises without mishap before getting to his feet and waiting for his next set of instructions.

"Posture and movement for singers are a crucial part of any tutors teaching. Part of being able to sing well includes the ability to be aware of your body, identify and correct problems that arise due to incorrect posture. However, this does not mean that your posture needs to be perfect!"

Well, this didn't sound like it was going to be too difficult or humiliating.

"Standing naturally ensuring the head, neck and shoulders are relaxed is the correct posture for singing. Whilst most people do this automatically, there are others whose posture has become lazy, or who have developed bad habits that can inhibit their singing which is why we've provided some guidelines, do's and dont's and exercises to help improve your posture."

"Hey, isn't posture like when girls put books on their heads and walk around?"

Shikamaru's lips twitched.

"That's a small part of it but it basically means standing up straight."

Neji ignored them. He already had perfect posture and therefore didn't think he needed this much, although there may be a snippet of vital information.

"Do be relaxed and natural, keep your movements fluid, keep your chin level, keep your knees loose, keep your head up, keep your shoulders sloping and relaxed, keep your toes pointed forward with your weight on heels and soles, keep the front of your neck loose and don't stretch it, keep abdominal muscles relaxed, keep your back muscles relaxed and smile!"

Naruto snorted again.

"Smile? Neji?"

Neji already had most of that naturally. All he had to do was keep relaxed and not tense up.

"Don't drop or hunch your shoulders, move stiffly or jerkily, drop or tuck in your chin when trying to sing low notes, stretch your head upward when trying to sing high notes and don't strain or push your abdominal muscles."

Simple.

"Now, let's go on to some exercises! For these exercises you will need: A long mirror, preferably full length, and a largish book of medium weight. Make sure you are wearing comfy loose clothing and flat shoes, or bare feet. You also need a flat long surface i.e., hallway or enough room to walk several paces, a friend who can observe and make constructive comments and notes. Patience and a good sense of humour are also required!"

Maybe not so simple. Neji paused the DVD and turned to his team mates.

"We don't have a mirror."

"I'm sure you can do without one."

"A large book?"

"The laptop will do, won't it? We've got enough room, your clothes qualify if you take off your shoes and we'll make the comments."

"Yeah. All you're missing is the good sense of humour!"

Neji glared at Naruto.

"I have a sense of humour. It just doesn't quite stoop to your levels of idiocity."

Naruto glowered back at Neji as he smirked triumphantly. Shino wordlessly handed over the laptop from where he was sitting as Neji kicked off his shoes and turned back to the TV, resuming the DVD.

"Place the mirror in a position at the end of the hallway or room where you can see the whole of or at the least the top half of your body. Study how you stand and compare with the Do's and Dont's above and make adjustments to your posture if necessary."

Neji paused it again.

"Can I move the TV so it's next to the sofas? That way I can see the TV and you."

Lee jumped up and quickly repositioned the television next to the sofa before sitting down again as Neji started it up.

"Stand at the end of the walk space and walk naturally towards the mirror observing your movements and posture as you walk. When walking your weight should be mainly on the balls of your feet, so your heels just lightly touch the floor, with the majority of movement from the hips and legs. The upper body should remain straight, relaxed and not 'swing' from side to side. Even if it seems that you are standing and moving with the correct posture it is difficult without an experienced observer who will notice bad habits that may appear normal to you."

Neji closed his eyes for a second, steeling himself for what was probably some of the most humiliating moments of his life. He turned around and walked forward until he was facing the bathroom before slowly turning around and walking back. Shikamaru nodded.

"Good, but you swing your hips a little. Do it again."

Neji scowled and re-did the exercise.

"Ok, you're not swinging now."

"Exercise one. Place the book centrally on the top of your head and turn your head slowly to the left, return to center then repeat the exercises turning your head to the right. The head movements should be smooth with eyes ahead, chin level, head, neck and shoulders relaxed. If the exercise is done correctly the book will remain in place. Repeat this exercise until you can do it several times without the book falling off."

"Hah! I told you that's what this was all about!"

Neji grabbed the laptop and balanced it on top of his head, following the exercise and smirking as it stuck to his head perfectly.

"Exercise two. Stand at the end of the walk space and place the book centrally on the top of your head. Walk normally towards the mirror, observing your posture as you walk. If your posture is correct and your movements are smooth then the book will remain in place! Repeat this exercise until you can walk the length of the space without the book falling."

He slowly walked backwards and forwards, the laptop not wobbling once, even when the bus hit a rut and dipped suddenly.

"When you have mastered your breathing and posture, the following singing exercises will help you on the path to improving and understanding your voice. If you're having a bad day or feel tense and stressed, this can affect your practices and performance. If it all starts going horribly wrong, take a break, relax or do something else and try again later. Stand with your shoulders relaxed, arms by your side. Breathe in slowly but do not suck in your stomach! Sing these phrases after me to improve diction."

Neji took several slow breaths.

"_I really love to sing, I really love to sing, I really love to sing, I really love to sing!"_

Neji twitched but opened his mouth and repeated the phrase up and down the scale.

"_Fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy!"_

Neji was going to hunt down this woman, slice out her eyes and feed them to the pidgeons. He sang the phrase, blatently ignoring Naruto's sniggering.

"_Lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop!"_

Now this was just going too far.

"Damn, I wish we had a camcorder!"

Neji shot a look of pure death over to Naruto before reluctantly repeating the woman's stupid phrase.

"If you practise these everyday your breathing will improve and you'll find it a lot easier to sing! Now, we're going to play a short phrase of music a couple of times and then we'll forfeit the voice and have the lyrics running along the bottom. Sing along to the recording until you're sure you've memorized the words."

The opening notes started playing as Shikamaru grinned.

"I know this. It's I Want Candy."

Neji turned to Shikamaru, looking horrified.

"What?!"

"It's about to start!"

Neji quickly turned back to the screen.

_I know a guy who's tough but sweet,_

_He's so fine he can't be beat!_

_Got everything that I desire!_

_Sets the summer sun on fire!_

_I want candy! I want candy!_

Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Do I have to sing that? It's terrible and makes me sound like a female prostitute!"

Naruto snickered.

"It fits. You've got to sing like one then dress like one!"

Neji turned on his glare and was about to make some snarky reply to Naruto but, once again, the woman's voice rang out.

"Alright! I think that's enough now. We'll play it through some more. Don't forget to keep playing it until you know the lyrics!"

Neji hit the skip button. He had memorized them the first time he heard them.

"Do you have it memorized, lead singer? Then let's go!"

The drum solo started up and Neji ordered his body to relax and adopt the correct position, filling his lungs like he'd been told.

"_I know a guy who's tough but sweet, _

_He's so fine he can't be beat!"_

Once again Neji could feel the words and music welling up inside him like a golden river, pouring from the bottom of his soul. It didn't matter that he hated the song and it didn't really make sense, he could feel what he needed to do, voice rising and shooting off the higher-than-high notes, resonating with the lower ones and flowing out of his mouth.

_"Got everythin' that I desire!_

_Sets the summer sun on fi-ah!"_

He didn't even need to look at the screen. The words came without even having to think about them, knowing exactly when to breathe and when to get louder and softer, all on instinct.

_"I want candy! I want candy!"_

Once again, he opened his eyes that had slid shut and looked over his shoulder to the five other boys who were sitting there staring at him like he was some sort of new, never been seen before animal.

"I, uh... Was it really bad?"

Neji could feel his face warming up again.

"Hell no. Jeez, Neji. You're really something."

Naruto joined in with Shikamaru.

"Yeah! You sang it better than the original woman! How come you've never sung before?!"

"Well, uh... I sang in the Hyuuga choir when I was younger once..."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"Now that you mention it, I remember you telling us that ages ago!"

Neji nodded.

"So not only is my eternal rival a genius, he's also an amazing musician! My determination to beat you has strenghened! If I can't beat you by-"

"Yes, ok Lee."

Lee stopped mid rant and looked down dejectedly.

"Hn. What do we do now?"

"We could sleep."

"Or eat ramen!"

"New insects."

"Training!"

"I agree with Lee."

Neji sighed. It was going to be a long, long mission.

**A/N Wow. This is a long first chapter XD! I hope you like it! Reviews make me want to write more :D**

**Poor Neji. I don't hate him, he's my favourite character EVER. Seriously. I'm just really mean to him D:**

**-Sophie**


	2. First Fan And A Fancy Skirt

**A/N Whelp, I thought I should get the second chapter up. Do you guys like this? You gotta tell me ya know XD Don't be a lurker!!!**

**Once again I'd like to apologize for any OOCness and I'd love it if you pointed out any mistakes to me. Songs used, Hallelujah - Lenard Cohen The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars**

**This is dedicated to Brittany, also known as ShallowShadows, Yohlee and Ki"ba! Thank you for being awesome :D!!!**

After a long debate and a heated argument between Naruto and Sasuke, the team finally decided that they should try playing some of the music Shino had found on the laptop. Shikamaru turned to the bug lover.

"Have you got the sheet music ready, Shino?"

Shino silently nodded and handed several sheaves over to Shikamaru.

"Right. Well, so far we have Lenard Cohen's "Hallelujah", I think that's the one we auditioned. We have "The Kill" by Thirty Seconds To Mars, "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects and "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At The Disco... Shino, this is all Emoish music."

Shino nodded.

"It seems that's the kind of band you need to be, with the exception of Cohen. That's all there is."

"Hnn. Cohen was probably put there because it's only got the keyboard and a singer, therefore it's easier than the rest."

"Troublesome, but I guess we're just practicing. You can all read music, right?"

Naruto frowned.

"I can't."

"Me neither! But I will master it! Or I will run behind the bus for eight days!"

"That's not going to be very useful, Lee. You kinda need to learn the drums and running that long isn't going to help!"

Lee nodded at Naruto and before he could come up with another challenge, Shikamaru turned to Sasuke.

"You help Naruto and I'll see to Lee. Neji, just look over the lyrics for Hallelujah and The Kill, alright?"

Neji nodded and picked up his sheaf of notes. He quickly scanned through them, humming out the tune under his breath before turning to Shino.

"Can you play these two songs?"

Shino nodded and three minutes later Hallelujah was playing through the laptop's speakers. Neji committed the lyrics and tune to memory, humming it through to make sure it was definitely there.

"And The Kill?"

Minutes later Neji had memorized The Kill as well. He looked over to the others, catching Shikamaru's eye.

"Alright, Lee. Do you think you've got it?"

Lee nodded enthusiastically then back flipped onto his drum stool.

"Lee! No Taijutsu!"

"Wah! Sorry!"

"Got it, dumb ass?"

"Sure thing, bastard."

Shikamaru stood up.

"Right. Neji and I are going to duet Hallelujah while you run through your music for the other song. Be as quiet as possible. In fact, use the head phones. Ok?"

Shikamaru picked up his keyboard and set it on the low table in the corner.

"Come and plug your mike in here."

Neji did so, tapping away the crackles of static.

"Testing."

His voice rang loud and clear. He closed his eyes and breathed like he'd been advised before nodding to Shikamaru who looked down at the keyboard and started playing.

"_I've heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?_

_It goes like this: The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift _

_The baffled king composing hallelujah..."_

Again the words were tumbling forth, the pure emotion rolling from the song was overwhelming him, carrying him away on torrents of music.

_"Hallelujah, hallelujah,_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah..."_

It was rising in his chest like a swelling balloon, stretching his insides. He couldn't keep it in anymore.

_"Your faith was strong but you needed proof,_

_You saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you._

_She tied you to the kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the hallelujah..."_

He was singing for himself now, forgetting about the other teens in the room, notes swirling through his foggy mind as he climbed higher and higher, reaching a soul wrenching crescendo as the waves of feeling crashed through him.

_"Hallelujah, hallelujah,_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah..."_

He felt like crying at laughing all at once but he couldn't stop the waterfall of notes bursting forth like a river breaking it's banks.

_"Maybe I've been here before, I know this room I've walked this floor,_

_I used to live alone before I knew you, I've seen your flag on the marble lodge,_

_Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah!"_

He was vaguely aware of a sense of stillness surrounding him like a void. An emptiness of anything except his voice. And then it hit him, mid hallelujah.

_"Hallelujah, hallelujah-"_

Shikamaru had stopped playing.

Neji's eyes flew open and he turned to Shikamaru, feeling panic pulse him.

"Was I out of tune? Did I miss-"

He stopped. Shikamaru was staring at him like he'd grown another head and it looked like the dark side of the moon or something.

"Er... Shikama-"

"You're crying..."

"I... What?"

Neji was completely and utterly confused. He looked over his shoulder to where the rest of them were sitting, all staring at him. Naruto cleared his throat.

"When you reached the second chorus... Er, well... You started crying."

Neji slowly lifted his hand up to his eyes and swiped at them, taking in a sharp breath when his hands came away wet with tears.

"What the...?"

"Tears just started flowing, man!"

Neji sat down. How he wanted to be alone, just to escape the confusion that was barreling through him.

"Does this often happen when you sing?"

Neji looked over at Shikamaru.

"No. I've never... Cried while singing."

"Did the words do something to you? Are they too sad?"

Neji started to get annoyed at Naruto. He obviously wasn't aware that he was crying, so why should he know why it had happened?

"No. Just leave it, Naruto. It won't happen again."

Neji stood up.

"... If you burst into tears every time you sing something slightly emotional, then you're obviously either very Emo or very weak."

Neji whirled around and glared at Sasuke.

"I wasn't crying. There was probably something in the air which triggered a reaction."

"Whatever."

Neji continued to glare at Sasuke as Shikamaru stood and picked up the other music.

"Stop arguing and let's just get on. Here."

Shikamaru handed out the music, ignoring Lee's excited squeal. The lazy nin walked up to Neji and handed over the lyrics.

"Don't worry about it. Or Sasuke, for that matter. It was probably a one-off thing caused by stress."

Neji nodded, glad that _someone_ believed that he wasn't some wuss who cried easily.

"Alright people. Five minutes of practice and then we start."

Five loud and confusing minutes later, everyone was assembled and rearing to go.

"This is troublesome, so we're just going up to the end of the first chorus. Shino, stop us if we go horribly wrong, alright?"

Shino nodded.

"Count of three. One, two, three!"

Naruto and Lee sprang into action, with Neji following close behind.

_"What if I wanted to break? Laugh it all off in your face?_

_What would you do? Woah - oh - oh - oh..._

_What if I fell to the floor? Couldn't -"_

There was a loud clang and crash. Neji spun around, instinctively dropping into a defensive position.

"Wah! I dropped it!"

Neji slowly stood up as Sasuke turned to Naruto.

"What the hell, you idiot? How the hell did you manage to drop your guitar?! You had it strapped on!"

"I don't know, bastard!The strap broke and it just leapt out of my hands!"

Sasuke strode over and picked up the glittering guitar.

"Hnn. You stood on the cable, freak."

"Oh..."

Shikamaru sighed.

"Make sure you've secured strap properly next time. You probably didn't attach it correctly, Naruto."

Naruto nodded and attached the strap to the guitar, slinging it over his shoulder. After six more false starts, they managed to successfully get through the song without any more major disasters until Lee sheepishly held up his two very battered drum sticks.

"I think I need new ones..."

"How troublesome... Tsunade should've seen this happening... Isn't there a stock of them? Go check your closet. There should be spares in there. Naruto and Sasuke both had reels of strings, after all."

Lee bounced off down the bus and into the bedroom, re-emerging half a minute later clutching a carrier bag full of them.

"Alright! I have more sticks!"

Lee carefully placed them in the black bucket by his drums, straightening up once he felt they and the bucket were secure.

"What do we do now, youthful team leader Shikamaru?"

"Let's get some lunch."

"Ramen!?"

Shikamaru sighed.

"No, we need to eat sensibly to keep ourselves healthy."

Neji nodded while he switched off his microphone.

"Hnn. Looks like we're eating whatever we can make with out a cooker."

Shikamaru tugged his earring.

"Well, we do have a camping stove. But I think it would be better idea if we didn't stop more than once a day. That way, we'd save time and we could be seen as more social if we go somewhere public and eat. That in turn would make the nin feel safer in getting close to us, because we stop and are seen in places like bars and restaurants."

"Alright! We can make ramen!"

"No, idiot. The water's not hot enough."

"Awh, man! Then can we have-"

"Probably not."

"You bastard! You didn't even let me finish!"

"So? It was going to be stupid anyway."

Shikamaru placed a hand on their backs and shoved them towards the fridge.

"You two can prepare the food today. Argue over there. Have lunch ready in an hour at most."

The bus hit a rut and Neji sniggered as Sasuke stumbled slightly. Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Can I use the shower, please?"

"Yeah. Go for it."

Neji inwardly grinned. A shower meant normality. It meant peace, relaxation, solitude and an escape from this sudden madness he'd been chucked into. It meant warmth and quiet and he could get rid of his emotions like the dirt trickling down the drain. Neji grabbed his wash bag and practically ran to the small room before someone else could get there first.

Shikamaru shook his head and walked over to sit next to Shino.

"What's that?"

Shino adjusted his glasses before turning to Shikamaru.

"It's a lighting program. For the stage. I'm just seeing what it can do."

"Can I see it so far?"

Shino nodded, clicking a button. A stage appeared with five basic figures on it in a sort of wonky pentagon, each with an instrument. Shino clicked another one and beams of light began to swing around the stage, illuminating the figures and switching colours.

"You plug this into the lighting controller via USB port. The computer moves the lights automatically, according to the program. We have a small performance scheduled in four days and it will need some lighting."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Do you have a timetable?"

Shino hit another button and the small, attachable printer began whirring. He collected the sheets of paper and handed them to Shikamaru.

"Hmmn... So we have a thirty minute slot... We can spend five minutes introducing ourselves, and then we should be able to get through five songs. Do you have the music that Tsunade prepared for us?"

Shino brought up a new window and started to print it out.

"Thanks."

"Hey, Shikamaru! We're going to have to stop for supplies! There's not much food in here!"

The lazy nin sighed and got up, walking over to inspect the cupboards and fridge.

"How troublesome... Make what you can out of this. I'll go talk to the driver."

Sasuke nodded and started to chop up the various vegetables, ignoring Naruto's 'Bleh!' faces at the sight of so many greens. Shikamaru's lip twitched as Sasuke made Naruto slice carrots under pain of being made to wear one of Neji's dresses.

Shikamaru ambled over to the driver, knocking on the window and waiting until the bus slowed down, turning onto what seemed to be miles and miles of empty road, littered with thorny trees and small bushes.

"Were are we, exactly?"

"We're abou' a hundred an fifteh miles east o' Konoha. We're jus' turnin' onto the main motorway. You boys alrigh' back there? Heard ya practicing, pretty good!"

"Thank you. I was wondering when we were going to stop for supplies?"

The bus driver stroked his stubbly chin.

"Well... Ah need to get some petrol soon... We can stop in aboot an hour. Is tha' alrigh'?"

Shikamaru nodded and smiled at the man before joining Shino on the couch, examining the timetables. A few moments later Neji walked out of the bathroom fully dressed, with a towel wrapped around his head to hide his seal. Naruto snorted.

"You look like one of those Indians!"

"Indeed. Whereas you look like an idiot."

"Hey!"

Neji smirked and strode past him into the bedroom, opening his closet. He ignored the heinous clothing and dug around the bottom for a brush. After a few moments of searching amid the mess of various items, he found the brush beneath what seemed to be two bits of metal covered in some sort of plastic, clamped together at one end and trailing a plug. He went back into the main space and held them up.

"Does anyone know what these are used for?"

Naruto bounced over and snatched them out of his hands.

"Wow! They must be some sort of secret weapon! Or maybe they're for doing up the dress, or even-"

"Shut up, freak. They're hair straighteners."

Neji turned to Sasuke.

"What?"

"Girls use them to make their hair straighter. You plug them in, they heat up and they iron out your hair."

Neji cocked an eyebrow.

"How do you know all this?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"My mother had a pair and Sakura was trying to show me hers once."

There was a slight awkward pause. This was the first time Neji had heard Sasuke mention any of his family.

"Ah. Can they be used on wet hair?"

Shikamaru took them out of Naruto's hands and read out the tiny label.

"Wet to dry hair straighteners. Towel dry hair until damp. Leave straighteners for two minutes, then use. Do not touch metal with bare fingers."

Shikamaru handed them back to Neji.

"There's a plug over there."

"Are there none in the bedroom?"

"There doesn't seem to be. The lights are all fitted into the walls and there are no other electrical devices in there."

Neji nodded and went over to the plug, shoving it in and switching them on. A small red light blinked into life. He guessed that the light meant it was fully functional and heating up. He sat down next to them and reached up to undo his towel, feeling slightly uncomfortable that in a few seconds everyone would see his curse seal. He could hardly ask them to turn away but he still didn't like to show it. There were too many bad memories attached to it.

With a small sigh he took of the towel and rubbed furiously at his hair until it was only slightly damp. He glanced up through the messy hair, flushing slightly when he realized they were all staring at him.

"What?"

They gave a small collective start as Neji spoke and quickly went back to whatever they were doing.

"... Is there something wrong?"

"Mah... No, you just look a lot different with your hair down and wet."

Neji frowned slightly.

"Yeah, like, more feminine."

Make that a glare. Naruto gulped.

"Just because I have to cross dress on this mission does not mean I am any less male than I started out."

He grabbed the brush and started to pull it through his hair, satisfied at the smooth way it glided down. Having long hair was a sign of power within the Hyuuga clan, and the fact that Neji's was almost down to his lower back showed he was very strong indeed. And rather insolent as no-one was allowed to have their hair as long as the clan leader's and Neji's was fast catching up, if it wasn't already longer. He had been asked several times to cut it but had just glared down the quivering messengers with great satisfaction.

Once he was convinced his hair was free of tangles and knots he reached over and picked up the straighteners, now proudly displaying a green light. He clacked them together a few times, wondering how to go about this. Finally, he separated a chunk of hair, clipped the straighteners around the top of it and pulled downwards. A loud hiss and crackle came from them and quickly yanked them away from his hair, inspecting the strands and then the machine.

"Is it meant to do that?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I think it was probably just the contact of water on hot metal. If it didn't do anything bad to your hair then it's probably supposed to happen."

Neji nodded and slowly repositioned the straighteners, wincing as they spluttered and spat. After fifteen minutes his hair was bone dry, straight, a lot longer and shining in the electric light. Neji stood up and unplugged the straighteners, searching for his hair tie.

He turned around.

"Has anyone seen my hair tie?"

Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru and Lee all turned to answer him and froze. Neji shifted slightly, feeling uncomfortable as they all stared at him.

"Uh..."

Sasuke cleared his throat awkwardly and went back to chopping vegetables, elbowing Naruto into doing the same.

"... I'm going to take that as a 'No, Neji. I have not seen your hair tie.'"

Feeling a bit nervous, Neji turned around and went back to searching, letting out a quiet "Hah!" as he located it under the chair. He was about to do up his hair when Shikamaru stopped him.

"You'll need to wear it down in concert. I wouldn't tie it up."

Neji sighed and slipped the hair tie into his pocket before going over and sitting opposite Lee and Shikamaru. The green clad Taijutsu specialist was still gaping at him. Neji felt his composure slip a little as he caught Naruto staring at him too. Neji rubbed his curse seal and turned to Shikamaru.

"... Does my seal bother you?"

Neji felt around in his pockets, drawing out his headband and tying it around the damning mark. Lee snapped out of his trance and jumped up, flailing a bit and shouting something about the ingeniousness of modern machinery and how it could do wonderful but strange things. Neji raised an eyebrow at Shikamaru.

"It's... Changed your appearance."

Neji stood up and strode into the bathroom. He closed his eyes, stood in front of the mirror and opened them. His eyes widened. He looked... Well, Shikamaru was right when he said it was a change. His hair was hanging down his lower waist in a kind of waterfall, a lot longer and straighter than usual. The little feathery strands were brushing his cheek bones and softening his features, paling his skin even more. He now looked like a masculine girl. He took one last look at himself before walking back into the room and sitting down again.

"Well, now I look the part."

Shikamaru nodded. Naruto cleared his throat and announced that lunch was served. Sasuke and Naruto had managed to whip up a simple but pleasing arrangement of salads and cold meats, much to Neji's surprise. They all grabbed a plate and helped themselves before going and sitting down on the sofas.

"It's troublesome, but I think that starting tomorrow we should all wear our costumes and get used to the feel of it."

He turned to Neji.

"You've probably already thought of this, but you're going to have to be able to sing with a corset and other things on, so I'd start wearing them as soon as possible."

Neji threw the smirking Naruto a glare and nodded at Shikamaru.

"I'll start in a skirt-"

Naruto snorted and Lee elbowed him.

"... And then move on to the dress."

Shikamaru nodded and turned to face everyone.

"I think this goes without saying but we, as a group, are not going to publish photo's of any of us in this kit. It'll cause humiliation and detract from our concentration. However, I've been looking at our schedule and we have an interview in two days time with a small magazine."

Neji's heart sank.

"So we'll have to be in full costume. And there will probably be photographers. We also have a story that we must stick to. My rich uncle heard us practicing one day and thought we had real talent. He set us up with all this kit and arranged us to tour to Mist, prior to us even bringing out a CD. We were so excited we jumped at the chance, and here we are."

Everyone nodded.

"What's his name?"

"... We'll call him Karaka."

Neji smirked.

"Karaka Nara. It's got a ring to it."

"Indeed. Now, talking of names, we need to change ours."

Naruto cocked his head to one side.

"Why?"

"Because the Nara, Aburame, Uchiha and Hyuuga clans are world known. It would seem a bit suspicious if a member from each of the strongest clans in Konoha all teamed up to form a band, especially as quickly as we did. We need to change them to fit the genre, and Neji's needs to sound more feminine."

Neji scowled as Naruto stuck up his hand.

"We could just shorten yours, Shikamaru. Make it Shika or Shii. With two "ii"'s, so it doesn't mean death or anything. And just give yourself a random surname."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Alright. I'll be Shii Daichi."

"Hnn. We could call Naruto 'Freak'."

"Or we could you 'Bastard'!"

"Sasuke can be Sasu Yamani."

Sasuke frowned.

"Sasu?"

"Yes. And Naruto can be Naru. You can keep your last name."

"So we've got Shii, Sasu and Naru."

Shino pushed his empty plate aside.

"Miyan Murashi?"

"Yeah. That's a good one, Shino."

"May I please have the honor of taking on my beloved Sensei's name? I feel it would allow me to achieve greater things!"

"Gai or Might?"

"Gai!"

"Gai Rock, then?" 

"Yes! Thank you! If I can not live up to his name then I shall-"

"Lee, shut up. You're being troublesome."

"Yes, youthful team leader Shika- Uh, Shii!"

"All we need now is a name for Neji."

"Nejio?"

Neji considered putting Naruto through the side of the bus.

"Shut up."

"I was joking!"

"Troublesome... How about Hikaru, and we'll shorten it to 'Karu. 'Karu Hidehiku."

Neji nodded. It wasn't too bad and it would hide his identity even more.

"Neji, you'll still look like a Hyuuga as long as you have your eyes. We'll get contacts for you and you'll have to use something to cover your curse seal."

"Alright."

Neji stood up and took his plate over to the sink, dumping it in before sitting back down.

"It's four thirty now. What should we do, youthful team leader Shii?"

"The driver said we'd be stopping soon. I'm going to look at the music Tsunade's prepared while you can do whatever you feel is necessary."

Naruto and Sasuke quickly dug out Guitar Hero, assemble it and were soon having a serious competition, shouting insults and whamming out chords as Shikamaru and Shino pored over the more technical details of lighting and tech. Lee seemed to be reading a book called "Drum Set Warm-Ups: Build Your Stamina, Control And Agility." Neji felt decidedly out of place. After a few moments of uncertainty, he started to clean up the left overs from lunch, washing and drying and putting away.

He stood there for a few moments, moving with the bus's motions and wondering how long it would be before anyone started to feel sick. With a quiet groan he decided to go and inspect the hideous garments in his closet and the various items that came with them. He flung open the cupboard and pulled out the first thing that came to hand. A short red and black lacy skirt was thrown to the floor. Following it was an even shorter black leather skirt, a black and white one with frills and yards of lace, a mesh one that looked like it would barely conceal anything, several pink and black striped ones, that light green-blue skirt and what looked like a tutu. None of them were below mid thigh.

Neji sighed and started to yank out the tops. There was a black corset made out of what looked like PVC and cotton, strung with red ribbons and a red cross over his heart, something that seemed to be a mass of black leather strips, a series of mesh tops, tops that started just above his armpit and ended where his stomach began,detachable sleeves, yet more corsets and a thousand ribbons.

Neji was not looking forward to tomorrow. With a mental wince he drew out one of the five dresses and took a good look. It was made out of black velvet, a bodice intricate bows and a triple layered skirt. The zip fastened at the back. Neji would happily burn the thing and forget it ever existed. The four other dresses were basically the same, varying slightly in pattern and colour.

He placed them on top of the pile of clothing and drew out four pairs of huge platform shoes and several stilettos, a carrier bag full of stockings and suspenders, more ribbons, two pairs of plain black pyjamas and a couple of pairs of fingerless, arm length gloves before coming to a largish black box on the floor. He lifted it out and opened it, groaning as he was greeted with hundreds of types of makeup, foundation and nail varnish, contact lenses and everything glittery and girly.

He was never, ever going to live this down.

There was a small booklet with basic application and removal instructions, including how to curl ones eyelashes and how to pluck one's eyebrows. And how to shave your legs and underarms. Neji jumped as Shikamaru walked in.

"... Is this everything in your closet?"

Neji glumly nodded.

"It seems that not only to I have to wear _them_, but I have to apply makeup and nail varnish, do something pointless to my eyebrows and eyelashes and shave. Oh, I found some contacts too."

Shikamaru's lip twitched.

"How... Troublesome."

Neji scowled and started to shove everything back into his closet.

"You should use the nail varnish tonight. It'll dry before you go to sleep and you won't have to worry about it tomorrow."

Neji scooped out the little bottles of humiliation and placed them beside him as he shoved the rest back. Hestood up and with what he hoped was great dignity he walked through, sat down at the table and put the small bottles in front of him. There was a vivid pink, black, red, sky blue and a bottle of clear stuff.

"What's this, Neji?"

"Nail varnish."

"No way! You gotta do all that stuff too?"

"So it would seem."

"Hnn. Hyuuga Neji and nail varnish is certainly one combination I never thought I'd see."

"Yeah. But we're even luckier than that, Sasuke bastard! Not only do we get to see Konoha's most secluded and solemn male in nail varnish, we also get to see him full makeup, dresses, skirts and -"

"Naruto. If you do not stop your idiotic warblings I am going to put you through the side of this bus. Painted nails or not."

Sasuke's lip twitched.

"Now shut up and leave me alone."

Neji grabbed the black one and unscrewed the cap, nose wrinkling slightly at the sharp, pear drop smell. A think glob of black goo rolled down the brush and plopped back into the bottle. Neji placed his hand flat on the table and slowly painted a black stripe down the middle of his thumb nail.

"Naruto. Go away."

"But I wanna watch!"

Neji glared at him and dipped the brush back into the bottle, quickly finishing one nail before moving onto the next one.

"Wait, wait!"

Neji paused and looked up at Naruto.

"Paint that one pink!"

"... Why?"

"It'll look better. Black, white, black, white rather than just black. It'll go with whatever you're going to wear, too."

Neji ran this over in his head before putting the black back and using the white, much to Naruto's delight.

"There. Now what?"

Sasuke looked over.

"Wave your hands around until the polish dries. It'll smudge otherwise."

"Sasuke bastard, how come you know all this about makeup and hair stuff? Do you use it or something?"

"No. My mother wore it. I used to watch her put it all on."

Sasuke's eyes started to cloud over and narrow.

The extremely awkward moment was lost as Lee jumped up to presumably give a speech, but ended up putting his foot through the tom tom as the bus suddenly swerved, knocking Lee of balance for a split second as he stood on the edge of the drum stool, bringing his leg down to counter gravity as it tried to topple him over.

"OH NO! YOUTHFUL TEAM LEADER SHII! I HAVE ACCIDENTLY BROKEN MY TOMTOM! I SHALL DO THE CLEANING FOR THIS MISSION TO MAKE UP FOR THIS UNFORTUNATE THING-"

"Lee, it's fine. There's a repair kit in the boot."

"I AM SO GLAD THAT THIS PROBLEM CAN BE RESOLVED AND I AM-"

"Lee. Shut up."

"YES YOUNG TEAM LEADER SHII!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as Lee continued to flail his arms around and jump up and down. Neji weakly waved his arms in front of him, trying not to attract the attention of the other shinobi. This tactic didn't work. Naruto, once again, snorted with laughter and Sasuke's lip twitched. Neji glared and stopped flapping. With a huff of air, he got up and went to return the bottles to the box, ignoring Naruto's sniggering. The bus started to slow down.

"Ah. I think we're stopping now."

Naruto bounced over to a one-way window and peered out.

"Hey! There's a restaurant over there! We must be stopping to eat!"

Shikamaru walked up to the bus driver, calling back for everyone to follow him. Shikamaru got halfway down the steps before freezing and ushering the confused nin back inside.

"We can't go out dressed like this. There'll be some troublesome, money hunting photographer out there ready to snap pictures of a new band on the scene. We can't go out looking like Ninja! We need to get changed."

Neji inwardly groaned. Slowly they trudged back into the bedroom and selected some of the clothes, Neji grabbing a sorry excuse for a top, stockings, shoes and the longest skirt there, the bottle of contact lenses he'd found in the box and a long leather coat. He walked into the bathroom, shut the door and dropped the clothing onto the toilet seat. He glared at it for a second or two before grabbing the top, whisking off his own and wriggling into it. It was black with obvious pink stitching and barely covered his chest, let alone stomach and shoulders. He felt like an idiot.

Neji picked up the skirt, looked at it, put it back down, sighed and picked it up again. He slowly stepped out of trousers and pulled the skirt up. It sat quite low on him, resting just under his belly button. He pulled awkwardly at the many layers of the thing, trying to sort it out before doing up the zip at the side. He felt like he had nothing on. He spent a few more seconds plucking miserably at the ribbons dangling down before picking up what looked like a pair of lacy underwear. After a moment of horrified staring, he realized it was meant to be attached around his waist, and then the suspenders to that.

With an almost audible sigh of relief he clipped the thing around himself and after a minute of struggling had the stockings and suspenders in the right place. Determinedly not looking at himself in the mirror, he sat down and pulled on the two huge sparkling shoes, frowning at the violent shades of purple and black adorning his feet. He stood up, ninja reflexes stopping him from swaying in the gigantic shoes and tied a strip of black cloth around his forehead to hide his curse seal. He walked over to the sink, popped out two green lenses and after a moments confusion managed to slip them into his eyes, successfully hiding the distinctive Hyuuga trait. Unfortunately, everything now had a slight green tint with a small space of true colour right in front of him. With a sigh he draped his coat over his arm and faced the door. This was the bit he was dreading.

"Neji, are you nearly done? I'm hungry!"

"I warn you. When I come out, if any of you so much as snigger the second we get back to Konoha I will gentle fist you to Suna and back."

"Ok, Ok! We won't laugh!"

He could already hear the slight snigger in Naruto's voice and prayed to all the gods that Naruto looked at least a little bit idiotic. Neji took a deep breath and flung open the door, arms crossed. There was a moment of stunned silence and even Shino fumbled a tiny bit with the laptop in his arms. After a moment of unbearable quiet Neji slowly dragged his eyes away from the carpet and stared right back at the five wide eyed shinobi.

Naruto and Sasuke were wearing matching black and red, or in Sasuke's case blue, striped trousers, a tight black T-shirt and baseball shoes. Shikamaru was in a simple mesh top and black, leathery trousers, dangling chains. Lee, predictably, was in green. But it was a dark green long sleeved top with dark grey ripped trousers and bulky trainers which made him look older and less... Spandexy. Shino was all in black and was the most normal looking one among them, albeit the sunglasses. Fate had once again smacked Neji across the face with bad luck.

"Uh..."

Naruto was gaping at him more obviously than anyone else. Sasuke cleared his throat and Shikamaru coughed.

"You, er..."

Neji frowned.

"I look like an idiot. I know."

"No! Well... It's a bit..."

Neji was getting tired of this.

"It's a bit what, Naruto? Sluttish? Stupid? Disgusting?"

"Er..."

"It's a mission. I'm doing what I have to do."

Shikamaru snapped out of his daze.

"Yes. You're right, Neji. It's a mission and we've got to act like Neji dresses like this everyday."

Neji shot the sniggering Sasuke a death glare, eyes narrowing as Sasuke smirked.

"It's quite difficult to be frighted by a man in a dress, 'Karu."

"Leave him alone, Sasu. Imagine if you were in that, bastard!"

"Naruto is right! We must embrace Neji's new... Uh feminine side and support him to the fullest! As Gai Sensei once said, it is important to support your friends, whatever they do! We must all-"

"Gai, shut up."

"YES YOUTHFUL TEAM LEADER SHII! THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME BY THE NAME OF THE GREAT GAI-SENSEI! I FEEL SO PROUD AND FULL OF ENERGY!"

Neji rolled his eyes.

"Are we getting off this bus now?"

Shikamaru nodded and started to lead everyone of the bus. Neji shivered as the cool air hit his bare skin, unused to being quite so exposed. They trudged up to the small cafe and pushed open the door, setting off the bell. Shikamaru walked over to the bar as one by one the rest trooped in, Neji entering last. He turned around and shut the door with a click before facing the people sitting in the cafe.

Neji flushed slightly as he realized the whole place was staring at him like he had just come in on a space rocket. He lifted his hand and gave them a small wave, resisting the urge to fiddle with his skirt or hair and walked over to stand by Shikamaru, hissing quietly in his ear.

"They're all staring at me."

"Are you surprised?"

Neji huffed.

"No. But..."

Shikamaru looked at him as if to say 'Well there you are then' and sat down in a window seat, beckoning everyone to follow suit.

"Just act normal. Don't cause a scene."

Neji grabbed a menu, intending to subtly hide behind it until the cafe came back to life. He was roused from his inspection by a kick on the shin from a blushing Naruto. He raised an eyebrow as Naruto lent over the table and whispered at him.

"You er, need to close your legs, Ne- 'Karu."

Neji flamed bright red and hastily snapped his legs shut, crossing them on an after thought. How he wished he was back on the bus. Scratch that, he wished he was back in Konoha and none of this had ever happened. He miserably raised the menu again, ignoring Sasuke who was obviously trying not to laugh. Five minutes later a waitress bounced over.

"Hi! My name's Niki! What can I get you?"

"I'll have beef and potatoes with a glass of water, please."

"Green is the colour of youth! I will have the pea soup and vegetables, please!"

"Hn... The same as Shii, please."

"Shii?"

Shikamaru raised a hand and smiled at the woman.

"Ah, I see!"

"Same as Shii. Please."

"Ok. And you, sir?"

"Miso soup, please!"

"Alright. And you miss?"

Neji's eyebrow twitched as Naruto and Sasuke both let out a snort of laugher.

"I'm not a woman. I'd like the same as Shii as well."

The womans smile faltered as she bent in to take a closer look at Neji.

"Gee! You really are a guy! How come you're all dressed like that?"

Shikamaru butted in.

"Ahh, we're in a band. 'Karu's our lead singer and he likes to dress like that. Is there a problem? We can leave if you wish."

The woman shook her head.

"No, no! It's fine! I was just curious, that's all!"

She turned back to Neji.

"Which band are you in? I don't think I've ever seen you before!"

"Attention Deficit Disorder. We're brand new."

She nodded.

"That's a cool name! I wish you guys luck!"

"Thank you."

Niki turned and practically ran back to the kitchens, shouting out their orders as she went.

"You handled that well, 'Karu. If it were Sasu or even me we probably would've snapped at her by now."

Neji knew that Shikamaru was just trying to make him feel better, but he appreciated it all the same. Sasuke and Naruto started up their gentle bickering again, this time arguing over who got first go on that infernal Guitar Hero game that they'd been playing all day. Just as Naruto was about to start raising his voice, Niki bounced over again, balancing a dangerous amount of plates and cutlery on her two skinny arms. She placed the dishes in front of them before turning to Neji and looking around furtively as if to see if anyone other than them were listening.

"Say, can I ask you a question? It's kinda personal."

Neji looked over at Shikamaru who shrugged and nodded.

"... Sure."

She dropped her voice into a whisper.

"Are you... Gay?"

Neji froze.

"Am I what?!"

"Gay! You know, do you like guys? Is that why you dress like that?"

Neji could feel his face flaming red as he started to splutter.

"What?! No! I'm not gay!"

"Maah, no, he's not. Don't worry."

After a few moments Shikamaru managed to assure the disbelieving woman about Neji's sexuality and get her to go away, looking slightly disappointed. Sasuke's lip was twitching almost spasmodically as Naruto shook with repressed laughter.

"It is not funny. This situation is not funny."

"Says the man in a dress."

Neji slowly counted to ten, controlling his urge to smash Naruto around the cafe until either he or the walls of this place broke.

"Naru, don't be troublesome. Leave 'Karu alone and eat."

Neji fixed Naruto with a basilisk glare until the blond mumbled an apology to him. Ten minutes later and full of hot food Neji started to relax a little in the warmth of the cafe.

"That was really good! This is one of the easiest missions I've ever had!"

Shikamaru shot Naruto a warning look.

"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched. This could turn out to be very tricky."

Neji nodded and absentmindedly flicked some of his hair over his shoulder.

"We still don't know anything about them."

Shino looked up.

"Do we know how many missing nin are in Mist?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"There could be any number. From three to thirteen, or more."

"Then we've got to be extra alert!"

"Well duh, freak."

"Shut up Sasu bastard!"

"I would if you stopped spewing crap out of your over sized mouth."

"What the hell do you-"

"Naru. Sasu. Shut up. You're being annoying."

"Hnn."

"All done?"

Niki was back. She whisked the empty plates from under their noses and scampered off to the kitchens, returning a minute later to ask if they wanted any desert.

"No thank you. Can we have the bill please?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Shii. Say, can I have your autographs?"

Shikamaru nodded.

"And a picture?"

Neji prayed Shikamaru would say no.

"Sure, I guess... It'll be good publicity."

"Gee, thanks!"

Niki skipped off, bringing back the bill, a small notebook and a digital camera. Shikamaru signed the notebook, passing it around to everyone. Shino looked up.

"I'm only the technician."

"I don't care! I want yours too!"

Shino slowly signed his fake name and passed it on to Neji who hastily scrawled down Hikaru Hidehiku before handing it back to the grinning waitress.

"Can you guys like, all stand up? I want to be able to see all of you!"

They slowly climbed to their feet and stood in a sort of semi circle. Niki bellowed something they couldn't hear properly and another waitress bustled out of the kitchens.

"Hold the camera for us, Jani?"

"Sure thing. Say cheese!"

Neji tried to smile like all the other pictures of people in bands. He honestly, truly did but he had had a very trying day, his contacts were making his eyes itch and it felt like his skirt had ridden up and it was probably exposing his backside to the world and he couldn't re-arrange it without it looking funny. Not to mention the fact that he had that goddamn girl attached around his waist in a sort of hug. Finally the camera flashed and the girl let go.

"I'm going back to the bus. I'll pay my share when you get back."

Shikamaru nodded in Neji's direction.

"Bye bye Mr. Hikaru! Good luck with your band!"

"Thank you. Good bye."

And good riddance. He pushed open the door, ignoring the snap and flash of a camera as someone inside took another photo of him and started to walk back towards the bus. The cool air helped to clear his head and completely calm him down as he walked up the steps and entered the bus. Kicking of his shoes, he went through to the bedroom, grabbed his pyjamas and quickly changing into them. The relief of being out of those... Things was tremendous. He stretched and sat down on one of the sofas, closing his eyes and sitting cross legged on the cushion, quickly sinking into meditation.

A loud crash jarred him out of his thoughts as Lee who was trying to sneak past him managed to smash his hand off the crash cymbal.

"I AM SORRY THAT I HAVE DISTURBED YOUR MEDITATION, MY ETERNAL RIVAL-"

"Where are the others?"

Lee paused.

"Oh, they're just coming. Now, as I was saying-"

"No, Lee, it's alright."

Lee sighed dejectedly and went into the bedroom, emerging a second later in green pyjamas as the rest of the group walked through the door.

"How much do I owe?"

"Nothing. Konoha's paid for all our food and shelter."

Neji nodded, waiting for everyone to get changed and come back through. Shino had donned his over coat again, but was in light grey pyjama bottoms, followed by Naruto in orange, Sasuke in dark blue and Shikamaru in brown.

Shikamaru tugged at one of his earrings.

"I know it's early, but I think we should all try to get some sleep. It's been quite a stressful and hard day-"

Not to mention humiliating and traumatizing, thought Neji.

"And I think sleep would do us good. Agreed?"

Naruto nodded and got up, Sasuke and Lee following suit as Shino put down his laptop and started turning out the lights. Neji sighed and slowly rose to his feet, walking into the bedroom and throwing a glare at the tiny bed before climbing in the left hand side, trying to take up as little space as possible. He could hear Naruto sniggering from his bunk in the corner.

"Troublesome..."

The bed dipped a little under Shikamaru's weight as he climbed in. Neji knew that Shikamaru was lying as far away as possible, but he could still feel the man's presence uncomfortably close to his own, sure that there was only an inch or two between them. He shifted slightly, tensing up as his elbow brushed Shikamaru.

"... Troublesome..."

Neji sighed. It was troublesome indeed.

**A/N Another very long chapter for you XD! Please read and review! Point out my mistakes! Anything! Just something to let me know you've read it! Thank you!**

**-Sophie.**


	3. Band Practice And The Fire Mall

**A/N Third chapter is here! A few things before I go on: I've been having exams. Important ones D: So my updating was annoying slow! As in I didn't... I'm sorry! But now it's after the exams I have the whole summer to write.**

**But I owe you all an apology for taking so long. I was dragged to Italy for two weeks and was unable to update, and I've spent most of today reading the new Harry Potter. Goddamn. I'm so sad the series is finished.**

**Once again, please be patient! And review! I love them! Oh, just to warn you again, ShikaNeji is my favorite pairing. I wouldn't write anything dirty or anything, but there may be uh... Implications? Just read to find out XD It's not like anything obvious. It's really slight XD. I'm also working on the basis that both Lee and Neji's parents are dead. **

**Oh, yeah. Songs used in this chapter, Hate Mail by Me, AttentionDeficitDisorder! And I'll Lie For The Sake Of It by Me as well :D! Molly Malone by Anonymous. My mom used to sing it to me, but I know she didn't make it up XD. Danny Boy by Anonymous.**

**Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed. It makes my day :3**

The first thing shinobi are taught when preparing for field missions is that you should always sleep with one eye open. To always sleep so lightly one can wake up in an instant and be ready to fight. When on a mission, Neji had never fallen deeply asleep. It just didn't happen. He was far too good for that.

Which was why he woke with a jolt and confused flurry of flailing limbs as Shikamaru shoved him out of his comfortable sleep and sent him crashing onto the floor. There was three seconds of strained silence before Neji climbed to feet and set his coldest, deadliest, I-Am-Going-To-Eat-Your-Children-With-Barbecue-Sauce glare on Shikamaru, who was lying on his side of the bed, the picture of unconcerned laziness.

"Why did you shove me out?"

Neji ignored Naruto's sniggering and continued to glare at Shikamaru, who tugged at his earring before replying.

"How troublesome... I fell into a deep sleep, as did you from the looks of things. You must've rolled on me or very near me in the night and I only noticed when the bus went over a bump, causing your arm to fly out around me. I woke and thought it was an attack. I didn't mean to push you so hard."

Naruto sounded like he was having a fit as Neji flushed slightly.

"Ah... It was not intentional. I apologize."

Shikamaru nodded.

"I apologize for shoving you so hard."

Neji turned to Naruto, fixing his glare on the spasming blonde.

"Is there a joke you wish to share with us, Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head, biting his lip to keep the laughter in.

"Good. Then do us all a favor and stop choking on your lack of intellect."

Neji strode over to his closet and yanked it open.

"Hn. Going to wear a dress today?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

He reached in and pulled out the first dress that came to hand, quickly snatching up tights, the hair brush and after a few seconds deliberation, a pair of stilettos. Ignoring the still sniggering Naruto, Neji turned and calmly walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

After a moment or two of trying to work out how to get the damned thing on, he figured that if he slipped it over his head and took it from there, it would all work out.

Fortunately, it did. After a moment of wriggling around, he had managed to get it on the way it was supposed to go and the many skirts were all arranged properly. He slipped on the pair of tights before wiggling his way into the corset. There was a cord around his middle that he had to tie, then zip up the side and then the back. Neji sighed. These things were such a fuss to wear. He tied the cord and zipped it up, feeling the material pulling at him and making it slightly more difficult to breathe. Doing up the zip at the back, he realized that it was going to be harder than he thought to sing in a corset. He quickly pulled on the stilettos and ran the brush through his still straight hair before opening the door and stalking out, shooting a quick warning glare at Naruto as he sat down on the sofa, crossing his legs.

Shikamaru sat down next to Neji, put his arms behind his head and looked at Naruto.

"Go and get dressed. We need to discuss the interview tomorrow and other things."

Ten minutes later everyone was sitting on the sofas, dressed and listening intently. Shino pulled out a note book, flipped to a new page and got ready to take notes, raising an eyebrow as Lee enthusiastically did the same.

"This interview tomorrow. We are obviously going in full costume and make up, including last minute preparations to make our characters complete."

Naruto grinned.

"Does that mean Neji has to shave his legs today?"

Neji froze for a second.

"Yes. Now, this magazine is kind of sleazy so I don't know what sort of questions we'll get asked, but I doubt they want our childhood memories. Sexuality will probably be top of their minds, especially when they see Neji."

Neji sighed and slumped down a little. Could this day actually get any worse? Shikamaru turned to Neji.

"I've thought this through, and we have two options. You either say you don't want to answer that question, in which case they'll assume you're gay and shy, or you can pretend to be gay."

Apparently, it could get worse.

"No."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Naruto, stop laughing. You're being irritating. It's not that amusing."

"I refuse to be gay."

"Hn. They're going to think that anyway."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Sasuke's got a point. You might as well. It's only for a few weeks."

Neji's eyes were slits.

"I refuse."

"Neji, it's a mission. You have to do what's needed."

"I know _exactly_ what is needed to do in a mission. Pretending to be gay is not necessary," Neji hissed.

Shikamaru cocked his eyebrow.

"What do you think _is_ necessary then? Do you have another alternative?"

Neji frowned. Shikamaru had valid points, and there really was no way that the reporters would believe he was straight while in a dress. He sighed and shook his head slowly.

"You've already got to do all these other embarrassing things! What's a little gayness going to do, huh? We know you're straight really!"

Neji death glared Naruto.

"You don't even have to do anything with another guy! No-one in Konoha will know!"

Shikamaru sat back and looked at Neji.

"You'll cause a sensation. The sooner we can get those nin to attack us the sooner we can stop this."

Neji covered his eyes with his hand.

"Fine. Fine. But after this the whole thing is forgotten. The clothing, the make-up, everything."

Shikamaru smiled.

"Now, they'll probably ask you what experience you've had with guys. Just make something up. And don't attack them, no matter what they ask. There'll be questions on how we started, why we write music, why Neji dresses like he does, are we Gothic or Emo or some other genre... And where we got inspiration for our lyrics. If we're lucky, they'll do a quick photo shoot."

"I trust no-one in Konoha reads this magazine?"

Shikamaru shook his head.

"Not that I know of."

"What's the magazine called, Shikamaru?"

"Novel Now."

"What kind of a name is that!? It sounds seriously dull! Who's going to read that?"

Shikamaru's lip twitched.

"True, it doesn't have an interesting name, but they've got a record for finding new bands with real potential. Remember Suna Rats? They found them. And Misti, Spectrum, Slow Lightning, Feal and Jujitsu. Those are just the world known ones. If they think we've got it, we've got it made."

Neji looked up.

"Have they ever turned down a successful band?"

"Nope."

Neji slumped back down again.

"This is like The Lotus!"

Everyone turned to Lee.

"It's double bladed! If we get this, then we'll find the nin in no time! But if we don't ,chances are it'll take ages! A double bladed chance! I feel so re-energized! We must train to the high - "

"Lee. Shut up."

Naruto patted the drooping Lee on the shoulder.

"Now. Shino's printed off two songs of ours, and I suggest we spend this morning learning them. Here."

Shikamaru handed out the various sheets of music. Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Hate Mail and I'll Lie For The Sake Of It. These certainly fit the genre."

Naruto laughed as Shikamaru rose to his feet.

"We'll start with Hate Mail. Alright?"

Sasuke smirked as Naruto ran to grab his guitar, throwing the bass at his rival.

"I'll learn this faster than you, bastard!"

Sasuke scoffed and started to pick out the bass line of his music. Lee sat at his drums, Naruto whacked out chords and Shikamaru started to play through the keyboard parts as Neji scanned the lyrics, humming the tune to himself. Ten minutes later Shikamaru stood up.

"Have we all memorized the music and lyrics? Good. Count of three, then. One, two, three!"

Naruto started to wham out a dark and heavy chord, strumming fast to produce a chanting sound as Sasuke picked out a slow, flowing bass line. Neji glanced down and breathed in, waiting for Lee to start before he began to sing. A second later Lee thumped down on the bass and began a fast, driving rhythm with the snare and hi-hat.

"_Your name is scribbled on the bathroom walls_

_With 'Faggot' and 'Whore' and everything more_

_As you delete the texts and death threat calls_

_Alone and afraid you sit on the floor."_

The words seemed to grate along his throat as he spat them into the air, feeling the desperation and the loneliness the song spun course through him.

"_More notes promising pain in your locker_

_Detailed accounts of how you're gonna die_

_Girls whispering and guys yelling 'Fucker!'_

_While creeping down the hallway you start to cry."_

He was whispering with the girls and shouting with the boys, real emotion pouring through him as his voice joined with the keyboard and danced and twirled with the synthetic melody Shikamaru coaxed from his instrument.

"_Different is so far from the normal_

_And you don't categorize at all._

_You're a freak and despised, but to me_

_You're exactly the way I want you to be."_

Sasuke's fingers almost seemed to dance as they plucked and pulled at the heavy strings, not quite matching the speed of Naruto's thrashing at the lighter strings of his guitar. With a sudden twist of chord, Neji was singing in the major key. Still the words were heart breaking, but as his voice climbed the scales it took on a lighter air before plunging into minor again as Lee crashed down on his cymbals.

"_Dreading break when teachers push you outside,_

_Fear fogging your brain as they hiss and spit._

_You're running, like innocence from a bride_

_Until you're caught and scratched and kicked and hit."_

The corset was squeezing the air from Neji's lungs, he felt light headed and dizzy as Naruto tore a spinning riff from his guitar, Lee following with a short drum solo while Neji tried to get more air into his lungs.

"_Bruises on bruises and blood's flowing free_

_The teachers'll blank this until you faint_

_Childcare wasn't part of their degree._

_But that's fine. You'll cover scars with white paint."_

His voice had taken on a slightly manic edge as he hissed the last part, Shikamaru crashing down on chords and quick, staccato rhythms.

"_Different is so far from the normal_

_And you don't categorize at all._

_You're a freak and despised, but to me_

_You're exactly the way I want you to be."_

Once again he was thrust into the major key as Naruto and Sasuke's fingers blurred over their strings, drawing out haunting, whining chords that jarred Neji on the inside as Lee smashed down on the crash cymbal, echoing the beating of his heart.

"_So come on, guys. Wear a dress to your school_

_And come on girls. Let's go tell them it's cool._

_So come on, guys. Let's all open our minds_

_And come on, girls. Let's accept every kind!"_

Naruto and Sasuke were panting slightly and they pulled out notes and chords, matching Neji's voice, full of defiance and passion as the music rang around the bus, vibrating through their bodies as Neji reached a screaming crescendo, Lee punctuating every word with a crack on the snare.

"_Different is so far from the normal_

_And you don't categorize at all._

_You're a freak and despised, but to me_

_You're exactly the way I want you to be."_

Neji's voice died away to a whisper as Shikamaru softly played the last chord, the whining of the guitar and the moaning of the bass fading away with the final crash on the cymbal as silence enveloped the bus. Neji's eyes slid open and we quickly took in his team mate's appearances.

Shikamaru was grinning and leaning against his keyboard as Naruto and Sasuke collapsed onto the sofas, breathing a little labored while Lee bounced up and down on his drum stool. Neji turned to Shino, surprised to find how out of breath he was after singing.

"How was it?"

"Good. Very good. Professional."

Shikamaru grinned and stretched, getting up and clapping Neji on the back.

"You know, if anything happened to you on a mission and you couldn't do them anymore, you should turn to singing."

Neji flushed slightly and frowned, thinking about how his family would react to him singing for a living instead of coaching the main family into some semblance of good ninja.

"I'll think about it."

Shikamaru wandered over to Lee, Naruto and Sasuke, congratulating them all on their performances before turning and addressing everyone.

"Were there any problems?"

Neji thought back, raising his hand slightly as he remembered something.

"I found it harder to breathe. It was the corset."

Shikamaru nodded.

"I guess you'll just have to keep practicing until it gets easier for you, or if it's a ribbon one just undo it a bit. Anything else?"

Shino readjusted his glasses and picked up his notebook.

"I made a few notes. One, Neji didn't move much and he had his eyes closed. Two, Naruto had his back turned. Three, Sasuke was glaring at Naruto. Four, Lee broke a drumstick. That is all."

Lee flushed red and grinned sheepishly.

"I, er, grabbed another one before I missed a beat..."

Shikamaru shook his head.

"It's fine, I don't think the audience would notice, but try not to break anymore of your sticks. We only have fifty pairs, remember?"

"Yes youthful team leader Shii! I will do my best! If I continue to break these sticks I will fashion my own out of-"

"Lee. Troublesome."

"Yes youthful team leader Shii!"

Shikamaru smiled at Lee and turned to Naruto and Sasuke who were still sitting on the couch.

"Naruto, try to remember there's going to be an audience. Shino will stand in for now, but you can't turn your back. Sasuke, don't glare at Naruto for what ever reason. It looks weird, alright?"

Naruto and Sasuke nodded, glowering faintly at each other.

"Neji, can you sing with your eyes open?"

Neji suppressed a jump at being suddenly addressed, and faced Shikamaru.

"I don't know. I've never been aware of closing them."

"Hmmn... We'll try after lunch. Neji and I will cook today."

"Hn. Do we have more food?"

"Yes. The driver brought us some when he stopped to sleep."

Naruto laughed.

"I didn't know the bus had stopped in the night!"

"I think we were all too fast asleep to notice."

"What if someone had attacked us?"

Shikamaru smirked.

"I set a few traps based on strange chakra. But Lee would've attacked them anyway. I placed him right by the door so if anyone came in, they'd go for him first and he'd knock them out, asleep or not."

Lee grinned and punched the air.

"I am so happy that I can be useful! Thank you for this opportunity!"

Shikamaru waved his hand dismissively.

"Don't mention it. Let's get going, Neji."

Neji nodded and went to the cupboards and fridge, opening them and peering inside.

"We have white bread and brown bread, butter, ham, cheese, mayonnaise, various vegetables and fruits, Konoha cola, pocky... We've got a lot now."

"Good. Any suggestions what we should make?"

Neji nodded and grabbed the white bread, giving the brown loaf to Shikamaru.

"Slice this and make ham and cheese sandwiches."

Shikamaru took the bread and went to the counter. Neji quickly diced the other loaf, doused it in some olive oil he'd found and walked over to Sasuke.

"I need you to perform one of your fire techniques. Can you toast this?"

Sasuke nodded and quickly performed the hand signals.

"Katun! Goukaryuu no jutsu!"

A small flame engulfed the bread and then withdrew, leaving it perfectly toasted.

"Thank you."

"Hn."

Neji collected the squares of toasted bread and placed them into a bowl before preparing a salad and adding the bread, grabbing the plate of sandwiches and placing them next to the salad. Shikamaru plonked down the bottle of Kola and some glasses before adding a plate of salami and what looked like a bowl of crayfish.

"Lunch is ready."

"Hey, this is the same stuff we had yesterday! Why can't we have some ramen?"

"Because it's not healthy, dumb ass."

"Shut up, bastard! It tastes good!"

"So does sugar, but that's not good for you, idiot."

"What the hell? What's that got to-"

"Shut up. Both of you. You're being unbelievably annoying."

Neji sighed and grabbed a plate, helping himself and sitting down on the couch and waiting for everyone else to join before starting to eat.

"So what are we doing after lunch again?"

"We're going to run through I'll Lie For The Sake Of It, and then we need to run through our stories and personalities to prepare for the interview tomorrow."

"Hn. Does the magazine not want to hear us perform?"

"Yes."

Neji felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of performing in front of people he didn't know dressed like a female whore.

"What!? You never told us that, Shikamaru!" Cried Naruto.

"They only want us to play two songs."

"This is so challenging! I can hardly wait! We must fully prepare ourselves and be in the best of young anf fulfilling health! Let us start now, team leader Shii!"

"We'll finish lunch, then practice."

"Yes!"

Lunch was eaten and tidied away without any further disturbances before Shino picked up his notebook and proceeded to make notes on their performance of I'll Lie For The Sake Of It.

"Good. Neji's eyes were still closed and you still didn't move. Lee broke another stick. Naruto still turned around."

Shikamaru sighed and switched off his keyboard.

"Lee, try not to break the sticks. The drum skins are probably weaker than the sticks, so if you break a skin in the middle of a song it could be disastrous. Naruto, when you riff try to spin three sixty, not one eighty. Neji, we'll do some work on you now."

Neji nodded and went to stand by Shikamaru.

"Go and stand in front the TV."

Neji walked over and stood where he was told, crossing his arms as everyone joined Shikamaru on the sofa.

"Ok, Neji. Sing something and make sure you keep your eyes open. Just a short one."

Neji wracked his brain for something to sing. Finally, he remembered something that he often heard his father softly sing after the death of his mother. He had been told that there was some sort of Irish tie to his mother's side of the family and she had tried to keep a few songs alive in the Hyuuga compound. Neji took a few breaths, making sure he knew all the words and melodies.

"_In Dublin's fair city where the girls are so pretty,_

_I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone._

_As she pushed her wheelbarrow_

_Through streets broad and narrow,_

_Crying 'Cockles and mussels,_

_Alive, alive – o."_

Neji was fighting to keep his eyes open as he reached the chorus. His vision was fuzzing over and he desperately wanted to close his eyes, just for a second.

"_Alive, alive – o ho,_

_Alive, alive – o ho,_

_Crying 'Cockles and mussels._

_Alive, alive – o."_

He was shocked at how high his voice could go and how comfortably it went there, spinning up and down the scales with ease.

"_Now she was a fishmonger_

_And sure 'twas no wonder_

_For so were her mother and father-"_

"Neji! You've closed them!"

Neji stopped singing instantly at Naruto's shout, groaning in annoyance as he realized his eyes had indeed slid shut again. Shikamaru sighed.

"It's fine if they shut occasionally but if you're standing there with your eyes shut all the time it would look a little odd... Let's try again. Except, this time try to focus your eyes on something."

"Hn. What's he going to focus on? There's nothing except us."

"Troublesome... Alright, Neji. Keep your eyes fixed on mine."

For some reason, Neji suddenly felt a bit nervous.

"Alright."

Neji took a few more breaths and fixed his pale eyes on Shikamaru's onyx black ones.

"Sing a different one this time Neji!"

Neji nodded vaguely in response to Naruto and tried to think of another song. Sasuke suddenly sat up.

"Do you know Danny Boy?"

Neji blinked.

"Danny Boy?"

"Its Irish too. It goes something like... Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling-"

Something clicked in Neji's brain.

"Ah. Yes, I think I know that one."

"Sing it."

It was an order, not a request. Normally Neji would've refused but there was something in Sasuke's eyes that made him agree. Neji sighed and fixed his eyes on Shikamaru's again, recalling the lyrics.

"_Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling_

_From glen to glen, and down the mountainside._

_The summer's gone and all the flowers are dying,_

_'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide."_

The haunting, lilting melody was pouring from Neji as he stared into Shikamaru's eyes feeling as though the blackness of them was going to swallow him whole as he fell into them.

"_But ye come back when summer's in the meadow _

_Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow._

_'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow._

_Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so."_

Neji's eyes were watering with the effort of keeping them open. His vision was blurring and shifting in an out of focus as he sang, words flowing from a memory long forgotten of a woman with long hair singing to him as he fell asleep. Shikamaru's eyes were two shining orbs in the fuzz of everything else.

"_And if you come when all the flowers are dying_

_And I am dead, as dead I may well be._

_You'll come and find the place where I am lying_

_And kneel and say an 'Ave' there for me."_

Neji could feel tears start to drip down his cheeks, but he didn't care. He couldn't stop them and he certainly couldn't stop singing, the words forming images of him at six years old kneeling by his father and mother's graves, staring at the bunch of wilting lilies. Images of the faces of the men and women he had killed and their loved ones at home. Images of his own team mates lying dead and bleeding into the earth. Shikamaru's eyes were the only thing holding him down to reality and even they seemed to be swimming with tears. With a vague twinge of embarrassment, Neji realized his voice was choking up slightly.

"_And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me_

_And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be,_

_If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me._

_I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me."_

Neji couldn't look away. It was as if he was trapped inside a vortex.

"_I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me..."_

There was a moment or two of pure silence before Sasuke quickly got to his feet and practically ran into the bedroom. As if a spell had been broken, Neji hurried wiped his eyes and cheeks, feeling slightly relieved that he wasn't the only one who seemed to have shed a few tears.

"Well... Uh... I'm going to see if Sasuke bastard's alright."

Naruto jumped up and followed Sasuke, leaving Lee, Shino and Shikamaru sitting on the sofa. Shikamaru got up.

"How... That was very good. Excellent."

There was another moment of awkward silence before Shikamaru let out a shaky laugh.

"We're supposed to be tough, emotionless shinobi. Yet here we are crying like girls... Though I realize that this shouldn't be so odd."

Neji cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, when a human gets sad they have their own ways of dealing with it and crying is the most natural. Shinobi are trained not to get emotional. It's not surprising that a song about death is going to affect people, especially when it's sung to a very high level with a lot of emotion. In fact, it's completely normal."

Neji nodded, feeling slightly relieved as Shikamaru wiped his eyes.

"And when you have someone staring into your eyes and singing that, it's as if you were talking to me especially. It should've been more surprising if I hadn't cried."

Neji nodded again, this time feeling a little flustered. He certainly hadn't meant to cry himself, much less make Shikamaru and from the looks of it upset Sasuke and Naruto too. He hoped that they wouldn't hold a grudge against him for that. Lee jumped up, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. In Neji's mind, Lee didn't count as he and Gai always burst into tears over anything that caught their attention.

"Neji! My eternal rival! I had no idea that you were such a genius in all aspects! By these young, manly tears coursing down my cheeks, I swear-"

"Lee. Shut up."

"Yes! Youthful team leader Shii!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and checked his watch.

"It's six now. I think that we need to get as ready as we can for the interview tomorrow and as much sleep as possible."

"I agree. I'm going to go check on Sasuke and Naruto."

"Alright."

Neji walked through to the bedroom, sticking his head round the door before entering. Sasuke was sitting cross legged on his bed and Naruto was on the floor. For once there seemed to be no arguing.

"Sasuke..."

Neji realized he didn't know what to say to him.

"Hn. It's fine. It was a song my mother used to sing. It was stupid of me to ask you to sing it."

Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"You're lucky, Sasuke bastard. At least you had a mother to sing to you."

Sasuke looked at Naruto.

"Lucky? You never had anyone ripped from you."

Naruto pouted.

"I have."

"Who?"

"You, idiot!. When you upped and left for Sound and that snake bastard!"

Neji felt extremely awkward.

"And Shikamaru lost Asuma, Neji's lost his parents and so has Lee. We've all lost special people, Sasuke! You're not the only one!"

Why had he come in here again?

"I never said I was the only one!"

"Well stop acting like it, bastard!"

"I'm not acting like anything, freak!"

Naruto leaped to his feet, walking towards Sasuke at an alarming pace.

"Yes you are! You're acting like a child, you bastard!"

"I am not, you dumb ass!"

Naruto was hovering over Sasuke who looked like he was about to explode and push Naruto away from him.

"Yes you are! Neji made everyone except Shino cry! Hell, Neji was crying himself! It's nothing to go all weird over!"

Neji slowly turned around and walked out the door again as Sasuke attempted to push Naruto away from him and retort. Neji flopped down onto the sofa next to Shikamaru with a defeated sigh.

"Are they alive?"

"Yes. They're fighting again."

"How troublesome. They're like a married couple. Nag, nag, nag all the time, huh?"

Neji let out a small laugh. Shino was once again typing at his laptop and Lee appeared to be doing press ups on one finger with a sofa and a table on his back, the screws that were keeping them down balanced on his head. Shikamaru pointed at Lee.

"Does he always do that?"

"Yes."

"I see."

Neji sighed.

"What's Shino doing?"

"He's setting up a website for us."

"A what?"

"A website. So our 'fans' have something to obsess over, and so the nin have something to plan their attacks from."

"Ah."

There was a moment of quiet.

"Doesn't that mean there'll be pictures of us up there?"

"Yes. And our music, tour dates, biographies and our ticket seller. Which means we need to get them up sooner rather than later, as the magazine will probably want the address."

Neji groaned.

"Will anyone in Kono-"

"No."

"Good."

Sasuke and Naruto emerged from the bedroom ten minutes later, Sasuke glowering slightly and Naruto looking like he'd just won an argument. Actually, Naruto probably had won their argument for once. They plopped down on the other sofa, trying not to stare at Lee who was on his two thousandth and twenty ninth press up and had added the TV to his load.

"This is troublesome, but I think we should all wear nail polish. To lessen Neji's isolation as the 'Odd one' and to build group strength. I know it's only a little thing, but it's like wearing a uniform. Hopefully, it'll bring us all together a bit more."

Naruto groaned as Neji smirked on the inside.

"But... We don't all have to shave and stuff do we? It's still only Neji, right?"

Neji glared at Naruto.

"No. Neji's the only one who has to do that. But you can if you wish, Naruto."

Naruto wrinkled up his nose and scowled. Neji got to his feet and went into the bedroom, deciding that as he wasn't sure how to shave he'd better get a move on and figure it out. He grabbed the small bag and returned to the sitting area.

"... How do I do this?"

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Hn. There are no instructions?"

"Not that I can find."

"Let me see."

Neji threw Shikamaru the bag. He drew out a razor, an aerosol tin of something and a roll of plasters.

"Well... I've seen my dad shaving his beard, so it's probably just the same thing."

"How did your dad shave?"

Shikamaru stood up and walked over to the sink, filling it up with warm water.

"You're going to have to remove your tights."

Neji flushed slightly, cursing Shikamaru's bluntness. He stalked into the bedroom again and emerged a second later, shoe and tight less, with a pair of shorts on and a t-shirt. He walked over to Shikamaru.

"What now?"

Shikamaru tugged at his earring, handing over the can.

"Squirt a little of this onto your hand and then put it on your leg."

"... What does it do?"

"It makes it easier, apparently."

"I see."

Refusing to acknowledge Naruto's giggles, Neji put his leg up on the table, squirted a little of the foam onto his hand and smeared it on his leg, raising an eyebrow as it seemed to grow, covering three quarters of his leg and upper thigh with one tiny handful. He covered the front of his leg and looked at Shikamaru.

"And now?"

Shikamaru handed over the razor.

"Just, er, drag it down your skin."

Neji gave Shikamaru a disbelieving stare before sighing and taking the razor, positioning it just below his knee and dragging it half way down, inspecting the strip of pale, bare skin.

"Rinse the razor and do it again. That's all there is to it."

Neji nodded at Shikamaru, rinsed the razor and finished the strip, running his finger down the smooth bit and frowning at the strange feeling. He mentally shrugged, putting it down to just another thing he'd have to get used to and quickly finished the rest of his leg, all the way up to the shorts. He ran his hand up and down, making sure he hadn't missed a spot before hoisting his other leg up and doing the same. He wrinkled his nose at the state of the water and rinsed out the sink, washing the razor and hurriedly shaving under his arms as well.

"There."

Neji smirked, pleased to see what he expected to take years only took ten minutes. He packed up the small kit, re-rinsed the sink and deposited the little bag into his closet. He sat down, crossing his legs and once again frowning that the strange feeling of completely smooth skin. He looked over to Shikamaru.

"How long is the interval between when your father next needs to shave?"

Shikamaru tugged at his earring.

"Only a few days."

Neji sighed. Then, an idea hit him. He put his hands together and collected his chakra, sending it down his body and depositing minuet amounts into the hair follicles, effectively stopping any hair growth. He looked down with satisfaction.

"You know, you should tell the girls about that, if they haven't already figured it out."

Neji scoffed at Naruto.

"Yes, and then they would ask me how I knew this and then that would lead to awkward and embarrassing situations which I can easily avoid by waiting for them to work it out for themselves."

Naruto pouted and crossed his arms as Lee looked from one team mate to the other, a hopeful grin on his face.

"What are we going to do now, youthful team leader Shii?"

Shikamaru looked at his watch and gently bit his lower lip.

"It's six twenty seven now, we're stopping at a big shopping center at six thirty-"

He was briefly interrupted by Naruto shouting that he didn't know about this before being whacked on the back of the head by Sasuke, effectively shutting him up.

"... We've got two and a half hours until nine. By then, we need to get moving... I think we should run through Hate Mail once more, see if we're still going wrong and then go to bed."

Neji raised an eyebrow.

"A big shopping center? Which one?"

"It's called The Fire Mall, and we're going there to pick up some personal items each, a phone, a radio and some pens and stuff. If we get famous, we'll need to sign autographs and photos and such."

Neji sighed and got up. He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his clothes, shoving them back on as quickly as possible, just as the bus started to slow down. Naruto jumped up and peered out the window, eyes widening dramatically as he took in the awesome sight of the Fire Mall.

"We should try to stay together as much as possible."

Lee nodded enthusiastically as Neji came out of the bedroom, Shikamaru leading the group off the bus and onto the black bitumen. A rouge wind ruffled Neji's dress, making him clutch at it in an attempt to keep it down.

"We don't have any money on us."

Shikamaru pulled out a small, black wallet and handed everyone a $100 bill.

"Spend it on your character."

"Alright! Money!"

Naruto was jumping around and waving it at everyone, oblivious to the fact that all of them had the same amount as him.

"Let's go."

They trooped into the mall, Neji squinting slightly in the bright artificial light, contacts itching. They quickly located and memorized a map of the premises, and decided to head to a mobile phone shop near them. Shikamaru quickly chose a black flip up phone, registered it and topped it up, explaining that they needed some way for producers and the like to contact them.

Lee dashed away and reappeared with a radio, removing a few of the more essential items from their mental lists. They made their way to a stationary shop, Neji determinately ignoring the stares, whispering and catcalls that heralded his arrival as they walked past group after group of people. Finally the shop came into sight, was entered and various items bought from it.

"What now? We've got all the important stuff, and I still have _loads_! More than I had when Perverted Hermit took me training!"

There was a moment of unsureness before Shikamaru suggested that they just wandered around and went into any shops that rock stars went into or suited their personalities. Neji assumed that going into a weapon department would not be within Hikaru Hidehiku's character, but he wasn't terribly sure what shops he _should_ be visiting. Shikamaru seemed to sense his dilemma, and waited until Lee and Naruto had bounded ahead, followed more sedately by Shino and Sasuke before coming over.

"Do you have any idea what sort of character you should take on?"

Neji shook his head.

"I need one I can keep up. I suppose I'll have to act more... Feminine. Without making a complete fool of myself."

"Only in the way you walk and talk. I don't think that many other men in dresses stride, Karu."

Neji slowed down.

"I stride?"

Shikamaru did a short imitation. Neji could see that that was making him look ridiculous, unless he was stuffed full of weapons, had his Byakugen active and was on a mission. 'Striding' around in stilettos and a dress was clearly very strange looking.

"Oh."

Neji was faced with a new problem. How should he now walk? Had he ever seen a man in a dress before? Had he ever seen anyone wearing clothing like himself? He had no grounds to work on.

"Well... You could walk like a girl, or a camp man."

These were the times when Neji admired Shikamaru's brain and it's amazing ability to deduct thought processes and come up with the answer before the question.

"... How do girls and camp men walk?"

Neji had never paid attention to the walk of a girl. He knew it was different, but how, he wasn't sure. He'd never really watched a camp man walking either. An extended cousin somewhere in his family had been gay, and obviously camp, but he had only seen him at his banishment and wasn't sure how he walked either.

"Well... They swing their hips... And they walk in quite a narrow line. A bit like this."

Shikamaru placed his foot close to the other one, swinging his hips with each step. He stopped after three.

"See?"

Neji dumbly nodded. For a brief second he thought about throwing himself under the wheels of the tour bus, but he's really rather not die looking like this. He banished the image of how he would look, buried the humiliation and tried to walk like a woman. Once his hips had become accustomed to the unusual movement, he found a good tempo and stuck to it, placing his feet as delicately as possible and resisting the urge to just leave and never return.

"Well, well. We seem to have a few followers."

Neji had been so preoccupied with the new walking technique he'd let his guard slip and had failed to notice the two groups of civilians trying to subtly follow them. One seemed to be a pack of five sixteen or seventeen year old girls, who were whispering and giggling among themselves and eying Neji up and down. They seemed harmless. The other group consisted of three rough looking boys, around sixteen who were giving off a hostile air. It was obvious they didn't approve of Neji's attire.

"Hmmn."

Sasuke, Naruto and the rest were nowhere to be seen and the boys were gaining on them. Neji shot a sidelong look at Shikamaru who turned to him slightly.

"Don't speed up or slow down," he muttered, "we can't use weapons or moves against them, nor act stronger than is considered for a civilian... Our best plan is to scare them away..."

Neji attempted to think what they could possibly do to scare away a bunch of threating males without causing a huge scene. It would either have to be something which would make them afraid, like an attack or a faint or collapse, or to make them part of something they didn't want to be seen as... Neji considered suggesting that he pretend to faint until the danger had passed, but was halted before he could make his suggestion by Shikamaru grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers in a grip that would snap the bones of most people.

Neji tried to pull away, face flushing red as he hissed as Shikamaru.

"What the hell are you doing? Let me go-"

"Play along."

The words were hardly out of his mouth before a disgusted moan came from the group now ten feet behind them, but the group didn't leave. Neji felt sweat bead his forehead as humiliation crashed over him, making him cringe from the mental image of what they must look like. What_ he_ must look like, dressed like he was and _holding hands_ with another man who just so happened to be one of the very few people whose intellect could stand up to his own and was probably the closest thing he had to an equal who was sane and a friend and any minute now someone he _knew_ was going to come bursting round the corner like Naruto or his uncle or someone equally humiliating and there would be all sorts of rumors and his lack of any experience with girls, not to mention the fact he was _dressed_ like one, was going to arouse a lot of suspicions and he would_ never_ live it down-

Neji's inner panic was brought to a screaming halt as Shikamaru lent in a little closer, completely destroying Neji's already fractured personal space. The boys were getting nearer and seemed to be cracking their knuckles.

"No scene," muttered Shikamaru.

Neji felt like giving him a Hyuuga glare for telling him something so obvious, but Shikamaru was too close for proper eye to eye glaring.

"There's a football shop displaying the colors they're wearing. If we can get them to give up the chase, they'll go in there."

Neji felt like asking exactly how he planned to make them go in the next fifteen seconds but before he could voice this, a slight change in Shikamaru's face told him he'd had an idea.

"Kiss me."

The world screeched to a halt and time seemed to go and die in a corner. Everything stopped, and then suddenly rushed back, like a train at full speed.

"What!?"

Neji had just enough sanity left not to scream and managed to hiss it out, sounding like a broken radiator.

"Cheek. Quick!"

They were nearly past the shop. Neji took a nanosecond to curse every god out there and lent across to brush his lips against Shikamaru's cheek, flaming red as he heard the fake retching sounds from the group behind them. Shikamaru smiled at Neji, the picture of happiness before stealing a glance behind him and sighing in relief, releasing Neji's hand and putting a respectful distance between them. The boys, as predicted, had gone into the shop. A further glance showed they'd gone out the other entrance and onto the street.

"I thought you were going to freeze up for a second."

Shikamaru said, scratching the back of his head.

"I really didn't want to get into a fight with them. Bad publicity."

Neji just nodded, swung his hips back into motion and started walking, ignoring Shikamaru who had to do a small trot to catch up.

"Are you upset?"

Neji's eye twitched.

"No."

"Alright then."

Neji allowed himself to take a quick peek at Shikamaru who seemed to be completely unembarrassed by the affair. In fact, he was the epitome of 'cool'. A very small, violent part of Neji wanted to hit Shikamaru for the embarrassment he had caused, but avoiding a scene to make another one was pointless and in all honesty what Shikamaru had done was sensible, quiet and caused no trouble.

"How troublesome... We still need to get some personal items and work out your character."

Neji sighed, and pushed his thoughts to the back of his mind.

"I suppose it's got to be feminine. I've got the clothing, the makeup, and now the walk. All I need is the will."

Shikamaru laughed.

"Was that a joke?"

Neji gave a half smile and shrugged.

"Do you know how to act feminine?"

Neji sighed.

"No."

"Well, let's start out by buying some girly stuff to help you ease into a character."

Neji nodded.

"They'll take your lack of conversation as shy, wide vocabulary as educated, good looks for granted, but other than that, you'll be a blank. What do you like?"

If Neji was slightly surprised by this question, as he was, he didn't let it show.

"Shogi... Birds..."

"Hmmn... I think we may need to work on that. We'll get you some bird related items, but you're going to have to take up something else to add to the list. Birds, Shogi and Music aren't that wide a range. Oh, you could say you like fashion. That would do nicely."

Neji nodded absentmindedly. Somewhere in the distance he could Naruto shouting, but he was too far away to make out any words.

"Perfect. Let's go in here."

Neji turned to look at the shop. It was some sort of bird merchandise shop, selling everything from clothing to real birds. Neji felt a small pang at the birds in the cages, trapped like he often felt. They went in, noses twitching from the slightly acrid smell of bird droppings. Neji slowly made his way over to the caged birds. It seemed there were only turtle doves left, $20 per bird, free cage and month's supply of food.

"Buy one. It'll add sentimental charm to you."

Neji nodded and went to the till, asking to buy a dove. He had almost forgotten he was in a dress until the man behind the till gave a start at his clearly male voice and started looking down on him. Neji swallowed his anger and followed the man back to the cages. He quickly selected a bird, took the cage and food from the man, paid and asked the man a question.

"Is it a she or a he?"

"She. _Real_ males are too tough."

Neji ignored the obvious insult and turned away, leaving the shop. A moment later, Shikamaru appeared with a tiny collar and leash.

"Then you can let her out to fly and not lose her."

"Thank you."

Neji took the items and put them in the bag with the food. They managed to follow the sound of Naruto's voice to a small restaurant where he was begging Sasuke for money to buy something to eat.

"Please, you bastard! I spent it all!"

"Which is why I won't give you any. You need more self control, dumb ass."

"I have loads of self control! Just three dollars? Come on!"

"No."

"You bastard!"

Neji walked up and stuffed three dollar bills into Naruto's gaping mouth, raising an eyebrow as he ran off with a muffled thank you. Neji scanned the walls for a clock, surprised to find that they only had half an hour left.

"Has everyone got something? Neji's got a bird, I'm going to get a Sidekick."

"Hn. I've got books. Naruto's got a whole load of fox things."

"Software."

"I have bought a set of weights with my fake name on them, youthful team leader Shii!"

Shikamaru nodded.

"Right. Well, let's grab something to eat in this place, and then we'll leave. Is there anyone else with no money left? Good."

They made their way into the small restaurant and sat down at a table. A waiter came over, took their orders and quickly bought them their food. It was a nice place, but small and Neji was feeling like his bird, trapped with everyone looking at him. They finished quickly and left, Shikamaru darting into a shop near the exit and buying a Sidekick and a digital camera.

It was cold outside and Neji vaguely wished he'd bought or brought a jacket.

"You're striding again."

Neji sighed and started to walk like a girl again, ignoring the laughter from Naruto and Sasuke's lip twitching. They finally managed to relocate the bus and climbed on, thankful for the warmth inside.

"Hn. Are we still going to practice?"

Shikamaru shook his head.

"We'll do it tomorrow morning."

There was a small collective sigh of relief as everyone went to change into their pajamas and climb into their respective beds. Neji got changed and went to attach the cage to a surface, bending some strips of metal to make clamps that would prevent it from falling off. He gently attached the collar around the bird's neck, the leash to that and then to a bar on the cage and left the door open after filling her water and food bowls and spreading the leftover packaging from the purchases around the cage. Neji gently stroked her wings and went into the small bedroom, easing himself between the covers, careful not to touch Shikamaru. There was about three moments of silence before Naruto asked,

"Hey, Neji, what did you and Shikamaru do when you two disappeared?"

Neji sighed.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

**A/N Well, there you go! Your promised third chapter with my humble apologies in taking so long to put it up here XD. Sorry!**

**Please read and review! Thank you all in advance!**

**-Sophie**


	4. Interview And Unwanted Attention

**A/N I have just spent the last eight minutes working out I had a stupid font size and that was why it was looking so weird. Fortunately, normal service has been resumed! Do you know what makes me really happy? Reading through my reviews. I love it! It gives me such a happy, warm feeling. **

**I recently bought volumes 11-16 of the manga, bringing my collection up to 16 volumes! I'm very happy, and would like to say to anyone who challenges Neji's tears, that he cried in volume 12, page 124. So it IS IN CHARACTER :D!!! I must admit... I cried too. And just to pacify you all, I've watched like, all the anime. So I do know the characters XD!**

Neji was finding it difficult to sleep. He had worked out that it was the rhythmic rocking of the bus that sent everyone into a deep slumber, even though it didn't seem to be working on him this time. Shikamaru had rolled a little too close and nearly moved on top of Neji as the bus swerved suddenly, but he had managed to push Shikamaru back without waking him up. Unfortunately, Shikamaru was now less than an inch away and the proximity, not to mention the uncomfortable sensation of someone breathing on your arm, was making Neji feel rather nervous. He sighed and slowly climbed out of the bed.

A small digital clock in the kitchen informed him that it was half past two in the morning. He sighed again and sat down on the sofa, head in hands. He knew that he had to get some sleep. He had that interview and needed to be well rested in order to keep as calm as possible in the onslaught of humiliating questions. Especially about his sexuality. It was stupid really. It was obvious that he was straight. Even though he had to wear dresses and walk like a woman, it wasn't as if he liked _guys_.

Neji's thoughts gently wandered back to the banishing of his cousin. Neji was ten at the time. He remembered being in a cold hall, full of Hyuugas from the cadet and main house. There was a chair at the front, and a desk behind which his uncle had sat. His cousin, Yuki, had been 'Escorted' in and bound to the chair. He'd had tried to struggle, but Hiashi had set off the curse jutsu, and Yuki had stopped immediately. There was a tense moment of silence before Hiashi spoke.

"_Hyuuga Yuki, you have been found in an intimate relationship with another man from the Nara clan."_

Neji frowned. Nara clan? He'd forgotten all about that. It seemed fate was prodding him into all sorts of uncomfortable coincidences. First his cousin gets banished, then he has to act like a woman, share a bed with a Nara, and after that little Incident at the mall... Well. Fate, it seemed, certainly had it in for him this mission.

Yuki had been reduced to tears within five minutes of the hearing, but there was worse to come.

"_You are to sever all ties with this man from this moment forth."_

"_Never."_

"_Then you are to be banished from the Hyuuga clan. You are to be blinded and sterilized. You are never to try to contact anyone from the Hyuuga clan. You are to change your last name and to never mention that you are from the Hyuuga clan. You are to wear your headband to cover your seal. You are to never show your seal to anyone. Any breaking of these rules will result in your death. Do you wish to proceed, or will you sever ties?"_

There had been a tense, awful moment. Neji remembered being shocked and appalled by the sentence, and had almost wanted to object. Yuki's hair was covering his face.

"_... I... Will not sever ties with the man I love."_

"_So be it."_

Yuki had been taken from the room, leaving a deathly silence within the hall.

"_Dismissed."_

Neji sighed. The sentence had been so harsh. He vaguely wondered what had happened to the Nara and decided to ask Shikamaru about it as soon as he could. His thoughts were interrupted as a gentle rustle from behind made him jump and crouch down into a defensive position, Byakugen raking the room for intruders. The only other moving thing was the bird, hopping in and out of its cage. Neji gracefully stood up, assured that the noise was just the dove and no-one else. He slowly walked over to the bird, careful not to startle it. It gave him a baleful look and cooed softly. Neji gently touched the top of it's head as it cooed again.

"I guess I need a name for you... And I guess it'll have to be something that will fit into my character..."

Neji wracked his brain. He knew it was obvious to call it Dovey or some other stupid sounding name, but if he was going to keep this bird then it would have to be something he could safely say back in Konoha. Cutie-Wootie-Pie, while it may fit Hikaru Hidehiku, was not something Neji was prepared to say back home, and he didn't want to confuse the poor thing with two names. It would have to be something sentimental, yet practical.

"Peace?"

It would fit Hikaru, and it would also be appropriate for a ninja. Ninja, although used as weapons, want to avert war just as much as anyone else, and calling a dove Peace would be ironically symbolic. Even more so that it should be a white dove, instead of this thing that looked rather muddy and dirty. Neji smiled gently and continued to pet Peace's back as the bus slowly rumbled its way towards Mist. A jaw cracking yawn managed to force its way out of him, who, in turn, decided that he should go and try to sleep again.

Shikamaru was now lying on his side of the bed. A frustrated sigh escaped Neji, who climbed in on Shikamaru's side and forced himself into a deep, empty meditation until he fell asleep.

**In Konohagakure:**

Sakura glanced at her computer's clock. It was half three in the morning, and she was still not sleeping. She sighed and opened a new window. She'd been helping Tsunade test drugs that day, and it seemed that one of them had reacted with her system and made sleep unreachable. She'd filled a report hours ago, and now there was nothing to do. Impossibly bored didn't even begin to cover it. Sasuke wasn't there and everyone would be fast asleep by now. The only thing left to do was to trawl through Internet pages, just typing in random words or phrases and seeing what came up.

She slowly typed in the address of one of her friends outside Konohagakure, curious to know what had been going on since she had last talked to her. She'd met Niki on a mission to trace dodgy food stuffs, and the young waitress had been extremely helpful. They'd swapped emails and it seemed that Niki had set up a website of famous people she'd met at the cafe. Sakura slowly clicked through the pictures. It seemed that Niki had met quite a lot of people from various bands, including Jerui, one Sakura liked. But it was the most recent picture that caught her eye and made her go back for a second look. For a second there, she was sure she'd seen Sasuke's dark hair and piercing eyes.

Sakura peered closer and gasped when she realized that it_ was_ Sasuke. And Naruto, Shino, Lee, Shikamaru, Niki and some other girl who actually looked a bit manly and disgruntled. Sakura frowned, peering at the photo. Who was that weird girl? Sakura was sure that she'd seen her before somewhere. She mentally ran a list of all the other nin who were out on missions. Kiba and Chouji were in Sand, while Neji was on-

Her train of thought screeched to a halt.

"... No way..."

There was no way in hell that _that_ was Hyuuga Neji. No way. Even if it was Neji, it was definitely a girl with green eyes. Very cold, glaring and slightly haughty green eyes... Green eyes that were unusually bright. Green that could be contact lenses... She even had a strip of cloth where Neji's curse mark would be... Not to mention she did have strikingly similar facial structure and hair... Sakura squinted at the picture. If you took away the ridiculous skirt, then that could definitely be Neji. It _was_ Neji!

Sakura's mouth was hanging open. Hyuuga Neji was standing there, in a skirt and full make up. Hyuuga. Neji. Sakura wasn't quite sure if the drugs were giving her hallucinations or whether this photo was for real. She quickly saved the picture onto her computer with intentions to show it to Ino as soon as possible, wanting a second opinion and a conformation to her suspicions.

They were claiming to be a new band called AttentionDeficitDisorder, according to Niki. She quickly ran a search engine on them, surprised when a site containing their_ tour dates_ came up. She clicked on it, bookmarked the website and shut off her computer. The shock of seeing Neji in that frilly monstrosity had made her feel a little tired. She climbed into her bed and shut off the light, falling asleep almost instantly with the image of Neji's outfit imprinted in her mind.

**On The Bus:**

Despite sleeping for a good eight hours, Neji woke feeling slightly nervous and rather more tired than he should be. It seemed that Shino was the only one actually up, despite the fact that everyone else had woken up simultaneously as the bus lurched to the left with a screech and a bang. In under three seconds Naruto was peering out the window while Shikamaru and Neji cautiously approached the swearing bus driver.

"Is everything alright?"

"Some o' them bloody kids threw eggs at th' windscreen! Made me drive off th' road!"

Neji breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment he was afraid the missing nin were attacking and that he would have to fight them in his pajamas. It would be quite difficult to be taken seriously if he was clad only in his nightclothes, not to mention they were slightly loose and felt like they may fall given the chance. Gentle fist would probably be quite hard to perform if he was continuously yanking up his trousers.

"Hey, Neji, your dove's looking sad!"

Neji walked over to Naruto and peered into the cage. Peace seemed to be sitting with her head under her wing, beak and eyes hidden from the world.

"She's asleep."

"Oh... Does she have a name? You could call her Miso because she's the colour of Miso!"

"She has a name."

"What? When did you give her one?"

"Last night."

Naruto nodded wisely.

"What did you call her?"

"Peace."

Naruto threw his head back and laughed.

"Peace? What kind of a name is that?"

Shikamaru sauntered over.

"I think it's a good name. It fits Neji's character and if he keeps it he doesn't have to call it some stupid name like Fluffy Cute Birdie Werdy."

"Thank you, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru just smiled at Neji before clapping his hands and beckoning everyone to him.

"As you all know, we have the interview today at one o' clock. The bus is already on the way there, and we're scheduled to arrive at twelve where we'll be shown to a dressing room until we're due. I don't know whether the performance is before or after the interview, but I suspect it's before. As it's only ten, I think we should get dressed and then run through the two songs we're going to play and then sort out our characters. We may be able to go over them further in the dressing room, but if it's bugged that won't be possible. Is that alright with everyone?"

"Yeah, but why would they bug our changing room?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"If I ran a magazine, I'd bug them so I could get my hands on gossip or arguments, making me the first one on the scene and asking questions to provoke a reaction to get me readers."

"Oh..."

There was a moment of contemplation before Naruto ran into the bedroom to get changed. Neji quickly followed and grabbed one of the dresses and the small bottle of contacts before retreating to the bathroom. After a confused moment where Neji realized he'd put the monstrosity on the wrong way round, he finally managed to get it on the right way and all tied up, pink frills and white lace sticking out at angles that barely covered his upper thighs. He sighed, put on a pair of stilettos, popped in the contacts and went back into the main room. There was a moment or two of awkward silence before Shino pointed out that time was still running and they needed to practice before they reached the interview's designation. There was a moment of hurried gathering of instruments before everyone was ready and good to go. An hour later and after only two mis-starts the team decided that they'd done enough practice for the time being.

The corset was biting into the skin below Neji's ribs, making it difficult to breathe properly and almost impossible to fight, should the need arise. He sighed, loosened the ribbons and quickly made a plate of sandwiches, putting them down on the table and waiting for everyone else to notice that there was food to be had. Naruto came bounding over at almost super-human speed.

"Hey! Neji's made food! Thanks Neji!"

Neji nodded towards Naruto as he grabbed two of the sandwiches, gulping them down as fast as possible.

"So. We've all got our names and a story about how we came to be touring so quickly, but we need basic biographies and answers to likely questions. I've prepared a list of probable questions and a set of topics to base our lives on. Here."

Shikamaru pulled a wad of paper out of his pocket, unfolded it and then handed it out.

"I've written the probable questions at the top, a few individual questions and then points for the bio. The most likely ones are: Why did you form the band, where were we born, age, family, what inspirations and perhaps what genre we're into. I think we should say we all met at Konoha High School, our tastes in music brought us together and it went from there. We can safely say we were all born in Konoha, and I think we can give out our real ages. Family will be in our biographies, so we can recite that... For our inspirations, we should stick to a few bands that resemble our music. Shino, can you find out some names and info? And I think it's established we're Rock slash Emo."

Shino nodded and headed over to the laptop.

"Right. Let's go through our biographies. I, Shii Daichi, was born in Konoha and grew up as an only child. I'd had piano lessons since I was eight, am very into music and love to write music. I had a good, loving family but was always a little short of cash. I used to play for the school's orchestra and choir, where I met Gai, who played percussion and Hikaru who sang. I had a cat, had fights with my mother about ear piercings and careers. She wanted me to be a doctor, I wanted to be in this band. I left home and was staying with... Hikaru until we got this tour. Can everyone remember that?"

Everyone nodded.

"Right, Neji, go."

"I, Hikaru Hidehiku, was also born in Konoha and had a brother who... Died... Of bronchitis. I was eight at the time while he was five. His name was... Suimo Hidehiku. I've been singing all my life, joined the choir at school but was always into different music than hymns. I had a good family, but my father was an alcoholic and my mother a depressant. I had a fight with my father about the way I dressed and moved out, soon to be joined by Shii. I haven't had contact with them since. Is that alright?"

Shikamaru grinned.

"Perfect. Lee, go."

"I, Gai Rock, was born in Konoha and was an only child. I was orphaned at a young age and shunted from family to family. When I got to High School, I took a passionate liking to the drums and started playing the percussion for the orchestra, where I met the young and brilliant Shii and his friend Hikaru! My lodgings were always good and I am ever grateful to their guidance! I had no fights and continued to be a good and dutiful son until I left, with their permission, to go on tour!"

"Good, good. Naruto, go."

"Uh, I... Oh yeah, Naru Uzumaki, was born in Konoha. Should I make up parents? Yeah? Ok. I have a mom and a dad but no siblings so they love me the best! I went to the high school and decided to become the best guitar player there! My teacher said I should be in a band, so I sought out Gai, 'Karu and Shii and we became a band. We're really good so my parents let me go on tour just fine!"

"That's good, Naruto. Sasuke, go."

I, Sasu Yamani, was born in Konoha, had a family until they were all killed in a... Fire while I was at school. I stayed with..."

"Oh,oh, you can stay with me!"

"Fine. I stayed with Naru. I-"

"You could say I made you play the bass for my band!"

"You couldn't make me do anything, and it's not your band. I took an interest in the bass after Naru became obsessed with the guitar. I like the same music and was able to quickly become better than Naru, so I got a place in the band."

"You're not better!"

"Stop. That's fine Sasuke. Shino?"

"I, Miyan Murashi, was born in Konoha, good parents, you asked me to do your tech."

"Good. As long as we remember the basics we should be fine. Now, individual questions. I'll probably be asked about my relationship with Neji and the sexuality questions that come with it. Strictly friends, straight. Neji, you'll be asked about your sexuality, dress style and family."

"Gay, like them, make it up."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Gai, probably your interests and slightly odd speaking pattern."

"Health and- I have a odd speaking pattern?"

"Just say it's 'Youthful Enthusiasm'."

"Alright!"

"Naruto, you and Sasuke will be asked about your relationship, growing up together and rivalry."

"Friends, annoying, natural."

"Yeah. That."

"Shino, probably the more technical side, how you do light shows and stuff."

"Built in program."

"Right. Is there anything else we need to go over?"

Neji shook his head.

"Good. I suggest we type out our biographies for the website until we arrive. That way, we'll keep them fresh in our minds and can work out any kinks we find. I'll go first."

Shino stood up, allowing Shikamaru to sit down before pushing up his glasses.

"The bands we're most like are Spectrum and Feal. We should say that's where our inspiration came from."

"Great. I trust we all know who they are? If not, look them up while you type."

Neji walked into the bedroom and threw open his cupboard, pulling out the box of make up. He grabbed all the nail varnishes and went back through to the others, throwing a bottle at each of them except Shino.

"Hey! I don't want your icky make up!"

"Tough. Uniform thing, you've got no choice."

"Wha-at? Shikamaru, he's lying right?"

"No, I remember saying that. Put it on, Naru and stop complaining."

Naruto pouted and prodded the small bottle, muttering about girly crap and make up. Neji fought the urge to smirk.

"Done. Neji, you go."

Neji nodded and sat down at the computer, highlighting the small white box. After a moments contemplation and a quick glance at Shikamaru's, he started to type. He got half way through and then re-read it. It was probably the most dull thing he'd written since the report on de-ratting the Uzui's barn. He sighed, deleted it and tried again, adding more exclamation marks, a fair bit of bitching about his 'family' and happy statements until it reflected his new personality.

"There."

Naruto quickly bounded over to take his place. After a few seconds of unsureness, Neji wandered over to Peace and refilled her water bowl before joining Shikamaru on the couch who seemed to be having some difficulty painting his nails.

"... I don't see why you're finding it so difficult."

"Every time I think the bus isn't going to jump, it does. Reverse psychology's not working either. Plus, the chemicals in this are staining the skin on the sides of my fingers, so I have a limited amount of mistake quota. I'll have semi permanent blue fingers at this ra-... Shoot."

Shikamaru had, once again, gone over his skin.

"How annoying..."

Neji sighed.

"Put your hand flat on the table and spread your fingers."

"... You don't have to do them for me."

"It's annoying me."

Shikamaru shot him a lazy grin and did as he was told.

"I guess that creepy Hyuuga precision lets you do this perfectly, huh?"

"It does help. There. Next hand."

"Thank you."

Neji shrugged.

"Just don't say it was me at the interview. Done."

"Don't worry, I'll take full credit."

"Hey! Hey! We're all done here! What do we do now?"

Shikamaru glanced at the clock.

"We should be there really soon. Shino, do you have the web address memorized?"

Shino nodded.

"Great."

The words were barely out of his mouth before the bus started slowing down with a shuddering groan.

"Ah. We're here."

Neji gently pushed Peace into her cage and shut the small door, grabbing the nail varnishes and placing them on the table. There was a few minutes of silence, and then a tentative knock on the door.

"Excuse me?"

Shikamaru hit the release button on the door and leant on the frame, showing a young woman of about twenty.

"Hi."

She flushed slightly as Shikamaru grinned at her.

"Oh, uh... Are you Attention Deficit Disorder?"

"Yep."

"Oh, great! You're right on time! If you'd like to follow me?"

Shikamaru beckoned everyone over and climbed off the bus, cocking his head in a 'Follow me' gesture. The breeze was ruffling Neji's skirts in an alarmingly energetic manner as they made their way towards the large building in front of them. Naruto bounded up to the woman and beamed at her.

"My name's Naru Uzumaki! And we're gonna be the best band ever!"

She smiled back.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Uzumaki."

"Just Naru! Just Naru!"

Shikamaru leaned over.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name?"

She flushed again.

"Oh! Erm, I'm Chirai Kiyuku."

Shikamaru grinned at her a placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Kiyuku..."

Neji had to hold back a snort as she turned bright red and smiled at Shikamaru. Women were so easy.

"I'm Shii Daichi, and these are my friends, Miyan, Sasu, Gai and 'Karu,"

He said, pointing to each of them in turn. Neji gave a half hearted wave at her as she looked over at him.

"Are you 'Karu?"

"Yes."

She frowned slightly.

"Oh... It said on the form you were an all boys band..."

Shikamaru gently took her arm and smiled at her again.

"We are. 'Karu's just as male as I."

"O-Oh! I... See..."

"I trust there's no problem...?"

"No, no!"

She turned to Neji and gave an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, your outfit took me by surprise..."

"It's fine. It happens a lot."

They reached the entrance just before a gust of wind could get the better of Neji and do something unmentionable to him. It was wonderfully warm inside and surprisingly big. The woman clapped her hands and smiled at them all.

"I'll take you to your dressing room now. I'll have someone call you when we're ready for the interview."

Shikamaru put his head on one side.

"Don'cha want to hear us perform?"

"Yes, but we'll conduct the interview first as the room's scheduled out until two."

"Ah, I see."

They followed her into a large elevator covered in mirrors. If Neji leant forward a little, he could clearly see that his dress had not ridden up; and despite the ridiculous amount of air wafting against him he was still decent.

He sighed gently and jumped as Shikamaru patted him on the back.

"Don't be nervous, 'Karu."

Neji bit back a retort and simply smiled at Shikamaru before allowing his eyes to flash in silent warning as the infuriating boy merely grinned at him. The fact that he _was_ slightly nervous was inconsequential. From the looks of it, Naruto of all people was feeling the same way. He'd gone pale and was worrying his bottom lip with his canines. Neji mentally shrugged. He'd get over it.

The lift came to a stop with a soft ping, sliding open soundlessly. The woman smiled at them.

"This way, please!"

She took them down a long corridor that stretched for miles before finally coming to their dressing room door. It was a simple with a white board attached to it, Attention Deficit Disorder scribbled on its surface. She pushed it open and ushered them all in, smiling brightly.

"This is your room. We'll send someone up in about half an hour. Please, feel free to make use of any of the facilities here, but if there is a locked cupboard or door, I ask you to respect that and not open it."

"Of course. Thank you very much."

She smiled at them one last time and excited the room. Naruto grinned and punched Shikamaru on the shoulder.

"You're such a lady killer! How do you do that?"

Shikamaru pushed Naruto away and shrugged.

"I don't know. I wish they wouldn't. So troublesome."

Neji snorted and turned away from their conversation. The room was quite big with a beige carpet and red walls. There was a row of mirrors, a heap of cosmetics and several very comfortable looking chairs with a mini fridge beside them. Shino immediately went to plug in his laptop, checking their webpage and making sure his lighting program was working.

"We've had seventy hits. We seem to be surprisingly popular."

"That's great. Are there any ticket orders?"

"No. We need to put up music first."

"We'll do that when we get back."

Lee bounded over to the fridge and opened it, grabbing a small bottle and holding it up to the light.

"Vodka? What's this? Some new energy drink? I must try it!"

Neji paled.

"No! Gai, don't drink it!"

"Why ever not? Do you want it? There's another one here!"

Neji had moved over to Lee and taken the bottle out of his hands.

"It's alcohol, Gai. Like sake. It doesn't... Agree with you."

Naruto chortled.

"You're like a killing machine with that shit inside you!"

"Oh... I didn't know that."

Neji patted him on the shoulder.

"Just don't drink anything with a percent sign on the label."

"Alright!"

Sasuke handed Lee a can of cola and sat down on one of the chairs before grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling on it with one of the pens on the table, showing it to Naruto once he'd finished.

'Don't say anything. May be bugs. Your parents took me in willingly, but you weren't so eager as we had to share a room. Our rivalry was born from that.'

Naruto nodded at him and then turned to Shikamaru.

"Hey, Shii, don't we need our instruments?"

"No. They provide them unless we request our own. I think theirs will be just fine for us."

Naruto nodded and slumped down with a sigh.

"Chuck me a coke, Gai?"

Lee threw him one as Shino stood up.

"There are no bugs."

"You sent out the kikaichu?"

"Yes."

Shikamaru sighed and sat down beside Neji.

"So, we're all clear on everything? Just remember, we can act embarrassed, but we can't show any violence no matter what they ask."

Everyone nodded as Lee stuck up his hand.

"Gai?"

"Why is there alcohol in the fridge? Isn't it a bit silly to render their interviewees incoherent?"

"People are more likely to talk about embarrassing or touchy subjects under the influence of alcohol. It probably works in their favor ninety nine percent of the time."

"I see!"

Neji closed his eyes and forced his emotions to the back of his mind. He needed to be perfectly clear and calm. This was an A rank mission and if he managed to play his part perfectly, he might be able to get a place in the ANBU sooner than expected. As long as absolutely no-one in Konoha heard about this, he should be fine. There was a rapping at the door.

"Attention Deficit Disorder? We're ready for you now."

Shikamaru gave everyone a thumbs up as he flung open the door with a smile.

"Certainly. Please, lead the way."

The new woman giggled and batted her eyelashes as the rest of the group assembled behind Shikamaru and followed them out into the hall, down the corridor and finally into the lift.

"We'll set you up in the Lounge with our interviewer. She'll take notes on your answers and she'll page us when you're done. We'll then bring you into the Photo Room and have a photo shoot. By then, the Recording Room should be free and we'll have a listen to some of your music. You know, you're really lucky to get in here on just a letter... You have no idea how many strings would have to have been pulled for that!"

Shikamaru smiled gently at her.

"We are really grateful for your hospitality, and that you agreed to hear us out."

She blushed and fluttered her eyelashes at him until the lift stopped with a quiet ping. Neji took a deep breath as the doors slid open and they were lead into a tasteful, warm room. The woman sitting in the chair rose to her feet and came over, extending her hand to Shikamaru.

"My name's Misori Tachi, and it's a pleasure to meet you...?"

"Shii. Shii Daichi."

"Of course."

They shook hands before she reached out to each one in turn.

"Ah. You must be Hikaru Hidehiku? I assume you're male under all that lace."

"Yes. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Tachi."

"Oh, just Misori. It'll make things a lot easier."

The briskness and efficiency impressed Neji, even if her skirt was a little too high and her top a little too low as she greeted the rest of the band. She smiled and invited them over to the big couch and single armchair with a notebook placed tactfully on it. She picked up the note book and sat down, gesturing for them to do the same.

"I'll be off now, Misori. Page me if you need anything!"

"Thank you, Sayu."

She waved the woman out and turned to the six adolescents on the couch.

"Let's get this show on the road. I gather this is your first ever tour?"

Shikamaru sat forward a bit.

"That's right. We've never even played a live show before, except to a couple of our friends."

"I see. Do you feel you're ready for this? Does your lack of experience worry you?"

"Well, we're all pretty confident people and we all excel at the parts we play. Gai, 'Karu and I were in the orchestra at high school, so we've performed publicly in that sense."

"So you play the keyboard then?"

"Yes. I play piano to a high level, so I'm good at what I do."

"Ah, Ok. Do you think you'll be able to cope with fame?"

Shikamaru shot her a rueful smile.

"We won't know until we get there. But we're all behind each other if it gets too much for one of us."

"That's always good to hear. Do you believe you'll be successful?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I hope so. I mean, it'd be really cool to get our music out there. We've all got very strong views and I think people need to hear them. Plus, we're pretty good on the old instrument side. Not to mention 'Karu's amazing voice."

Neji flushed slightly at the compliment.

"I'm glad you're confident. May I ask what some of these views are?"

"Well... We feel strongly about hate issues, like homosexuality and racism... 'Karu's our main lyricist, and we usually agree on most issues he brings up."

"I see."

She turned her gaze to Neji.

"Hikaru, where do you get the inspiration for your lyrics?"

"I guess I base them on events I've seen happen or personal experience. I don't find them hard to write when I get going."

"Ahh. And do you feel they convey your message?"

"Yes. But I think people need to realize these issues for themselves and not rely on other's."

She smiled.

"The ones based on personal experience... Tell me about them."

Neji's mind whirred as he tried to come up with a plausible answer. He swallowed his pride and ploughed ahead.

"Well... In Hate Mail, for example, I guess I explore the hate towards homosexuality and being different... I used to get a lot of shit from school."

"Because of your sexual orientation?"

How he hoped no-one would ever read this.

"... Yes. And because of the way I dress."

"That's very interesting. As the lead singer, do you feel the publics eye will be on you most of the time?"

"Yes, but if I can make people more accepting it's worth it."

"I'm glad you stand for what you believe in."

She turned to Naruto.

"Naru, right?"

"Yep! I play the guitar!"

"Oh, and how long have you been playing for?"

"Um... A good few years now."

"I see. Do you find it easy to play?"

"Yep! I'm going to be the best guitar player ever!"

She laughed.

"That's good to hear. And... Sasu, right?"

"Yes."

"Let me guess, bass?"

Sasuke shot her a rare smile.

"Yes, that's right."

"How long have you been playing?"

"Around the same time as Naru began."

"I see, I see. And is it easy for you?"

"Yes."

She smiled jokingly.

"Going to be the best bass player?"

Sasuke scoffed.

"I already am."

She laughed again and turned to Lee.

"And you're Gai, the drummer."

"Yes ma'am! I've been playing for several years now! It makes me feel youthful and keeps me fit!"

"Enthusiasm's always a great thing to have. Do you use a special kit?"

"No ma'am, I just use the basic one!"

"Ok. Then you must be Miyan."

"Yes."

"What, exactly, do you do?"

"I organize the lighting programs, update the website and make sure we stick to our schedule."

"Ah, I see. Have you always been an organizer?"

"I have no musical talents, but they're my best friends. Organization's not something anyone else excels at."

Misori chuckled gently as Neji curbed his surprise at how well everyone was keeping things together. 

"Do you use a computer program?"

"Yes. I bought it a while ago out of interest, and became quite good at it. The program's simple too."

"That's great! So, how did you all become a band?"

Shikamaru sat forward again.

"Well, I've been playing the piano for years, so I joined the school orchestra as the pianist. Konoha High likes to put loads of different things into the orchestra, so we had piano, drums and a singer. I met 'Karu when we were being tried out for singing parts. You either had to do orchestra or sport, and I'm too lazy to be running around for hours."

"You tried out for the singing part?"

"I was forced into it. I was caught giving a rendition of some solo piece by the music teacher who dragged me to her room with 'Karu."

"Ahh, right. Can you sing well?"

"Yeah, but as she said, there's no emotion. When 'Karu sings, it's... Breath taking."

"I can't wait to hear it!"

Neji laughed softly.

"So you and Hikaru were the original duo?"

"Yeah. We'd get together and do duet pieces. I'd always thought rock stars were really cool, so I moved onto keyboard and asked Gai if he'd like to drum for a band we decided we were setting up."

"I jumped at the chance! I always wanted to be in a band, but there was none there to be in! I was really happy when Shii asked me to join his!"

"That's really great! So, how did you meet Naru and Sasu?"

"Well, 'Karu and I were walking past the music room and we heard someone playing a really good riff. So we stuck our heads around the door and saw Naru having a playoff with Sasu. 'Cept Sasu was on the bass. They were both really good, so we asked them to join."

"Hah, but I won that thing! I'm waaaay better than Sasu!"

"No you're not. If anything, I'm better."

"_Anyway_. We all got on really well and liked the same music. It was meant to be."

Misori laughed again.

"Let's talk about your families."

"Well, I'm an only child so I guess I'm a little spoilt... My parents are really good to me, but we had an argument recently. The tension between mom and I was already high, because I'd pierced my ears and was serious about our band while she wanted me to study medicine, so we had a huge argument just before we left to tour. I kinda stormed out and went over to 'Karu's place. I've been staying with him since."

"I see... Hikaru, do you have a place of your own?"

Neji jumped slightly at being addressed.

"Uh, yes. I've always... Been on bad terms with my parents... My brother died when he was five of bronchitis, and I think they've always resented me for that... I had a cough and passed it on It turned bad in him and he died... My father... Doesn't really approve of me. We had a big, big fight and I left. I'd saved up a fair bit of money and a friend of mine lent me his empty flat for a while. When Shii and his mother fought, I was more than happy to give him a place to stay."

"So... Forgive me if I'm being forward but, are you two a couple?"

Shikamaru burst out laughing as Neji flushed.

"Nah, we're just really good friends. I'm one hundred percent straight."

She smiled at him.

"So, Hikaru, I know I've asked this before, but you're gay?"

This was it. The moment he'd been dreading since he saw the first skirt in his cupboard. He could feel the eyes of his band members on him as he opened his mouth.

"... Yes."

"Do you have a boyfriend right now? Or someone special, perhaps?"

Neji couldn't stop the flush from staining his cheeks.

"Ahh, no. Not at the minute."

"I see, I see. Have you had many in the past?"

Neji flushed again and resisted the urge to run from this suddenly constricting room.

"I, er... A few?"

She smiled at him.

"Any serious ones?"

A small part of Neji died inside.

"Uh... Well... Yes..."

"But you've broken up now. Did you fight?"

"Yeah... He didn't like in when Shii moved in."

"Ahh... What was his name again?"

"Uh... Sudan."

He'd never felt so humiliated in his entire life.

"I see... Were you together for a long time?"

"About four months..."

"And how old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"So young... Are you all that age?"

"No, Gai and I are eighteen and everyone else is seventeen."

"Wow. Did know that if you did make it, you'd be the youngest band out there?"

Shikamaru grinned.

"Yeah. That's bound to draw attention to us."

Misori smiled and turned to Naruto and Sasuke.

"So, you two are pretty big rivals then?"

"Yeah. I mean, we're best friends but we're always fighting over who's better."

"It stemmed from when I moved into his house."

"Oh? How did that happen?"

Sasuke sighed.

"I used to live in a big, big house with all my family. But... One day, when I was at school there was a big fire and everyone was killed. The locking mechanism failed and everyone was locked inside..."

"I'm terribly sorry..."

Sasuke shrugged.

"So, when Sasu had nowhere to live, I told my parents and we took him in! We were good friends before that, but there wasn't enough room for him to have his own bedroom, so he had to share mine!"

"How old were you two?"

"Seven."

She gave Sasuke a sympathetic smile.

"So you've been living together for ten years?"

"Yes."

"Yeah. But Sasu and I don't mind now! It was a bit different when we were younger, 'cos I was used to being the only child. I guess it was hard to suddenly have to share everything!"

"That must've been difficult. So, are you two just best friends?"

Naruto laughed and gently hit Sasuke's arm.

"Yeah! 'Karu's the only gay one here! Sasu and I are just friends."

She smiled at them.

"I see, I see. Do you feel you might ever have a big fallout?"

"Eh, we have tons. But we just scream at each other until we're worn out."

She turned to Sasu.

"You don't seem the screaming type, Sasu."

"Ch. You should see how riled up that idiot can get me."

"Hey! Don't say that, bastard!"

Neji elbowed Naruto before there was a full blown argument. Luckily, Misori seemed to find it quite hilarious.

"So, Gai. Gai Rock, isn't it?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Please, just Misori. Rock is a rather appropriate name for a rock band, don't you think?"

"Yes! I feel it was meant to be!"

"How do your parents feel about you being in a band?"

Lee's face fell marginally.

"Well... My parents are dead too... But I'm sure they'd support me behind anything I did!"

"I'm sorry. That was silly of me."

"No, no! Not at all!"

"Who do live with?"

"I live with my cousins, Katsuro and Chiri! They took me in after... Uh, I think it was Auntie Mei. I've been moved a lot, but Katsuro was happy to take me in!"

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Yes! I have always done my best in studies and being a good son! I like to think that they are proud of me! They let me go on tour, after all!"

"Yes. It seems to me that they love you a great deal."

Lee's face broke into a beam and even though Neji knew Lee lived alone and no-one had taken him in, he felt a twinge of pride in the way Lee _had _done his best, even if no-one was there to prove it to. He quickly squished that feeling. It seemed this dress was having a greater effect than first seen.

"And, Miyan. What about you?"

"My mother and father are both alive and I have no other siblings."

"I see. And were they happy to let you go on tour?"

"Yes, but they don't think we'll make it. They think it's one of those childish dreams."

"Do you think you'll make it big?"

"Yes."

She smiled at him.

"Well, you all seem like a really nice, together bunch of people. And you certainly have confidence! I seriously hope that I see you in the charts, and maybe we could conduct another interview."

Neji picked up on the subtle hints about coming back if they made a name for themselves and glanced over to Shikamaru who smiled at the woman, showing that he too understood.

"Well. I'll page Sayu and ask her to take you to the Photo Room now. Thank you very much for your time."

"And thank you for yours, Misori."

She smiled again at Shikamaru and pressed a few buttons on a small black box she had attached to her waist. Three or so minutes later, Sayu walked in.

"Did everything go alright?"

"Brilliantly, thank you."

"Yeah!"

She smiled at Lee and Naruto before beckoning everyone to follow her. They thanked Misori one last time and went with Sayu along the corridor to the Photo Room, Neji ignoring the stares from a group of people walking in the opposite direction.

The Photo Room was quite small with a big camera in the middle and one wall painted a brilliant white. The floor was white up to the camera.

"The wall and floor are actually screens that we can put a background against. It makes it easier than waiting for the perfect cloud formation!"

A small pang of longing crossed Shikamaru's face at the mention of clouds, and Neji knew that the nin wished he was at home watching the clouds by himself.

"So. This is our photographer, Hiyan. He's going to conduct the shoot while I wait over here. Is this alright?"

Shikamaru nodded and smiled at the tall man who came over to greet them. 

"So, you guys are Attention Deficit Disorder then? Awesome."

Shino pushed his glasses a little higher up his nose.

"I'm only the technician. Shall I go and wait with Miss Sayu?"

Hiyan smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder.

"If you wouldn't mind, mate."

"It's not a problem."

Shino made his way over to the chairs in the back of the room with Sayu and sat down, turning to her and asking something they couldn't hear.

"So! You're all comfortable with each other, right? We get some guys who don't realize just how close you have to be in a photo, and feel uncomfortable. You guy's will be alright though, yeah?"

Shikamaru nodded at him.

"Sure. We're all really good friends, so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Great! So... I think we'll do a few individual ones, a few group ones and maybe a few ones of two or three of you. We'll start with Miss here. Ladies first and all that."

Shikamaru snorted as Neji twitched and went slightly red again.

"Ahh, the 'Miss' is no lady. Hikaru's a guy as well."

Hiyan's eyes widened as he lent in to take a closer look at Neji.

"Wow. You are a guy! Sorry about that, the dress really threw me off."

Neji did his best to smile at the man.

"It's fine, it happens a lot."

Hiyan laughed and patted him on the back.

"I don't doubt it, I don't doubt it... We'll start with you anyway. If you'd come with me?"

Neji nodded and followed the man on the white set, right in front of the camera. He blinked a little in the harsh lights, contacts irritating his sensitive eyes. Hiyan walked behind the camera and lent on it, thinking.

"Hmmn... Bring you legs closer together and put your arms behind your back."

Neji did as he was told, thinking of how respected he'd be when he gained his place in the ANBU.

"Great. Now... Lean forward a little... And... Hold on."

Hiyan strode over to Neji and grabbed his right arm, positioning it in front of his body with his index finger on his bottom lip.

"That's great! Now turn your face a little to the right, no, no, your right... Lean forward a little... And put your left foot slightly in front of your right... Perfect!"

Actually, Neji thought, this is as far from perfect as you could get. His butt was probably showing now and he could see the bitten back laughter on the other's faces, not to mention he felt very vulnerable in this position and probably looked like some sort of whore.

Hiyan ran back to the camera and peered at the screen.

"Great, great. Now, smile!"

Neji bit back a grimace and forced his muscles into the correct positions. Hiyan stood up and frowned.

"You like you're entering a fight! Smile softer. Think of the happiest day of your life!"

The happiest day of his life would be when he could burn this dress.

"No, no, too cruel! What are you thinking about?"

Neji sighed. The happiest day... Probably when Hiashi had told him the truth about his father. He hadn't believed it at first, but when his uncle had dropped to his knees in front of him, he knew it was true and his father was a great, great man.

"Perfect! Look at me... And...-"

There was a click and a whir from the camera.

"Done! I'll take one more and then you're finished!"

Hiyan ran forward again and looked at him critically.

"Ok... Stand up, cross your legs a little more and put your arms behind your back."

Neji did as he was told.

"Now... Put your head to the side, to the left this time..."

Hiyan gently pushed Neji's head down a little bit, much to Neji's distaste.

"And raise your shoulder a little... Great! Oh, wait, hold on."

Hiyan reached behind him as Neji fought the urge to push the man away. Hiyan tugged a lock of Neji's hair forwards and let it hang down before smoothing it with his hand, the contact a little too friendly for Neji's liking.

"Good..."

Hiyan trotted behind the camera again.

"Great. Now... This time I want you to pout a little. Just stick out your bottom lip."

A very, very small part of Neji wanted to giggle hysterically. Neji pushed bottom lip forward and prayed to every god out there that no-one who knew him would ever see him like this.

"Awesome!"

The camera clicked and whirred again. Hiyan bounced up to him and clapped him on the shoulder.

"All done, my pretty lady! Send the guy with earrings over, yeah?"

Neji swallowed his scowl and stalked off to send Shikamaru over to Hiyan.

"You're up."

Shikamaru nodded and sauntered past him, joining the photographer on the set as Neji crossed his arms and tried to look vaguely happy. Naruto clapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey! That was awesome! You looked really... Authentic!"

"Thank. You."

"Hey, aren't you happy? We're going to be famous!"

"Yes. A million people are going to see me looking like a whore."

Naruto snorted.

"Well... It suits you!"

Neji's fingers twitched as he tried not to smash Naruto in the face.

"The sooner those nin attack us, the better."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but was stopped my Sasuke tugging at his arm.

"Stop, Naru."

"Huh. Fine."

Neji forced his eyes away from the wall and turned to see if Shikamaru was being put in any humiliating positions. Shikamaru was standing with one hand on his hip, head lifted, grinning cockily at the camera as Hiyan got ready to take a picture. Then, he was standing with his arms crossed and an almost devilish smile as the camera whirred again.

"It must be my turn next!"

Shikamaru sauntered up to them and pointed at Naruto.

"You're up."

"Yes!"

Naruto practically ran over to the photographer, beaming all the way. Shikamaru sighed, watching Naruto jabber away to the photographer.

"He's so enthusiastic."

"Too enthusiastic."

Shikamaru laughed.

"Nah... It's good for him to be looked up on by lots of people."

"Hmmn."

Naruto was doing the classic victory pose, tongue sticking out and one eye closed in a wink as the camera clicked and Hiyan shot him a thumbs up in response.

"Ok, now run your left hand through your hair and beam at me. Put your other hand in your pocket. Good!"

A few moments later he was sent back to the group to retrieve Sasuke. He was grinning happily and jabbering away to Lee who seemed equally excited at the prospect of being willing photographed. Neji sighed and turned back to Sasuke who was doing basically the same things as Shikamaru, except he had his hand wrapped around his waist and it was more of a smirk than a grin. Half a minute later he was done and Lee was bounding over to take his place.

Hiyan seemed to be struggling to find a good pose for Lee. After a moments thought he asked Lee how good his balance was. Lee grinned sheepishly.

"Well... It's better than most people's..."

"Great! Can you put your leg out, like you were going to kick the camera?"

Lee did as he was told.

"Brilliant! Now... Hold your fists in front of your face like you're block- Awesome! You've got it! Now, try to stay like that!"

Hiyan ran back and Lee stayed perfectly still.

"Now, smile!"

Lee grinned at the camera as it clicked at him. Hiyan jumped up again.

"Great, great! Now, this time... I want you to stick your thumb out and- wow! Perfect!"

Lee had quickly adopted his infamous Good Guy pose, teeth sparkling as Hiyan nearly hopped up and down, quickly taking the picture before both of them returned to the group.

"Your individuals are awesome, so I wanna do a few group ones now!"

They all followed Hiyan onto the set as he bustled around them, working out what he was going to do.

"Right... Right... If we can have... Uh..."

He clicked his fingers at Neji.

"Hikaru."

"Yeah. Hikaru. If we can have you right in the middle with you,"

He pointed to Shikamaru,

"On his right. Shii, right? Yeah. Great. Now... Sling your arm around Hikaru's shoulders... Awesome!"

Neji tried not to flinch as Shikamaru's arm was flung around his neck.

"Yep, yep... Lean a little closer... Great! Now, Naru, put your arm around him on the other side. Great!"

The feeling of two people so close to him was making Neji feel very uncomfortable. It was the first time in something like twelve years he'd ever been so close to someone who wasn't trying to kill him or vice versa.

"Hikaru, pop your arms around their waists. Great! Now, Gai on Shii's right and Sasu on Naru's left. Arms around each other... Perfect! Now, smile!"

The chains on Shikamaru's trousers were pressing painfully into his legs as he smiled for the camera, forcing his memory back to the day Hiashi was telling him about his father and the respect he would one day command in the ANBU.

"Awesome! Ok..."

Hiyan bounded back over to them and grabbed Neji, practically shaking Shikamaru and Naruto off him.

"Stand there. Good. Now, Shii, stand behind him and put your arm up so you're leaning on his right shoulder... Great! Now, Gai, do the same to his left. Ok, now, Sasu and Naru... Sasu, do what Shii's doing to Hikaru on Shii... And Naru to Gai. Brilliant! Smile!"

Hiashi relaying his father's wishes... ANBU... The camera clicked again and Neji sighed gently.

"Awesome! Now, a few with some of you..."

He shooed Naruto, Sasuke and Lee off the set before turning to face Neji and Shikamaru.

"Hmmn... Are you two a couple?"

Shikamaru grinned and shook his head.

"Nah."

Why did people always assume that it was he and Shikamaru who were together? Did no-one question Naruto and Sasuke?

"Ok then... Oh! I have an idea! Ok, Hikaru you know this face?"

Hiyan stuck out his tongue and placed his finger under his eye, drawing the skin down slightly as Neji nodded.

"Great! Use your left finger and put your right arm around Shii... Awesome! Now, Shii... Ah! Ok! Do this."

Hiyan placed his thumb on his nose and spread his fingers out into a fan.

"Yes! Arm around Hikaru's waist, and smile!"

Hiyan leaped over to this camera and hurriedly took their photograph.

"Stay like that! Now, Gai, over here!"

Lee bounded over.

"Go behind them, and when I count to three I want you to jump as high as you can and spread your arms like wings, yeah?"

Lee nodded and ran over to Neji and Shikamaru. Neji sincerely hoped that Lee wouldn't get too excited and leap through the roof instead of just a foot off the ground.

"Ok, here we go! One... Two... Three!"

Lee, thankfully, only jumped to a normal hight as Hiyan clapped his hands delightedly and shooed them off, beckoning for Naruto and Sasuke.

"Now, I want you two back to back. Good, good. Now, link arms and do the thumbs up with your free hand! Great! Smile!"

The camera clicked and whirred before beeping loudly.

"Ooh... I'm out of battery. Oh well, I was done anyway!"

Neji let out a barely audible sigh of relief as Hiyan, Naruto and Sasuke came over to them, shortly joined by Sayu and Shino.

"Well, you guys are a really awesome, photographic bunch! It was great working with you!"

He stuck out his hand to each of them in turn, including Shino. Sayu clapped her hands and smiled.

"Let's go over to the Recording Room now!"

She started to walk out the door with Neji bringing up the rear.

"Oh, hey, Hikaru?"

Neji stopped and turned around to face him.

"Yes?"

Hiyan reached into his pocket and drew out a strip of paper. He handed it to Neji and winked.

"Here."

Neji slowly took the scrap of paper and looked at it. There was a line of numbers scrawled across it, eleven to be precise. It took a few seconds for him to realize it was a phone number.

"... Er, thank you."

Hiyan winked again.

"Just give me a call if you're ever here again."

Neji had the feeling that Hiyan wouldn't just want a friendly chat if, for some inexplainable reason, he ever did call. Neji nodded and backed away, quickly catching up with the rest of the group. Shikamaru fell into step next to him and looked over quizzically.

"So, what happened back there?"

Neji thrust the piece of paper at Shikamaru who took it and inspected it, realization dawning on his face.

"He gave you his phone number?"

Neji gave a curt nod, fighting to keep the embarrassed flush off his cheeks as Shikamaru snorted with laughter.

"Wow. Lucky you."

He tried to hand back the piece of paper but Neji just shook his head at it.

"No."

Shikamaru shrugged and stuffed it in his own pocket.

"Fine, but we'll have to keep it until we get out of here."

Neji nodded just as Sayu stopped outside a bright red door.

"This is the Recording Room!"

She pushed it open, ushering everyone in. There was a raised platform at one end with instruments on it, a few chairs and a small section with machines, protected with glass or clear plastic.

"The stage is where you'll be performing, and a few people will be occupying these chairs. Miyan, if you want to go set up in the Tech room?"

"I need my laptop for the lighting..."

Sayu quickly pressed a few buttons on her pager. A man came in and strode over to them.

"Miyan needs his laptop, can you escort him to his tour bus?"

"Of course."

Neji watched Shino follow the man out a different door as Sayu turned back to them and clipped her pager onto her belt.

"Now, if you'd like to go and set up?"

They nodded and made their way over to the stage, clambering onto it and fiddling with their instruments. Neji's microphone seemed to be attached to the stand with a simple clip.

"Is it alright if I unclip the microphone?"

Sayu nodded at him and sat down, paging at an almost inhuman speed. Neji gently unclipped the microphone and switched it on, tapping it a few times to make sure it was working properly. Naruto struck a loud chord as Sasuke strummed his bass, both checking to see that everything was wired properly. Shikamaru pressed a few buttons on his keyboard, quickly getting it into the right settings before Lee gave a quick drum roll. Shikamaru beckoned everyone over, speaking quietly so no-one else could hear them.

"No pressure, but this is where we make it or break it. Is everyone clear about what we're doing? Hate Mail and then I'll Lie."

Everyone nodded as Neji got that funny flipping feeling in his stomach.

"Good luck!"

They made their way back to their instruments as the door opened and Shino hurried in, laptop clutched to his chest. A few moments later the main lights dimmed and spotlights were trained on each of them. Sayu stood up.

"Great! Now, just wait a moment until the rest arrive and then introduce yourselves and your first song."

Neji nodded and resisted the urge to fiddle with his microphone. Just as the tension began to rise, five people walked into the room and sat down, apologizing for taking so long. Sayu motioned for Neji to start.

"Right. We're Attention Deficit Disorder, and we're going to play our song Hate Mail first."

Neji glanced over to Naruto who nodded and took a deep breath before starting to wham out the first chords of the song, followed swiftly by Sasuke. Neji forced himself to relax and fixed his eyes on the people before him, waiting for his cue. Lee crashed in and Neji began to sing.

The anger and humiliation that had been building inside him all day was twisting with the words, making them drip with venom as they grated along his throat and were spat into the air. His hands were making unconscious gestures, clenching and waving perfectly in time to Lee's drumming, emphasizing the beats. He was dimly aware of Naruto's guitar as he leaped from minor to major and back again, voice rising above the instruments and echoing around the room.

The minutes passed like mere seconds and he could see the looks of shock and astonishment on his audience's faces as the song began to draw to an end, voice dying away with the whine of the guitar and the hum from the keyboard. He took several deep breaths and cleared his throat.

"We're going to perform I'll Lie For The Sake Of It now."

The fact that no-one had stopped them yet was probably a good sign as he glanced over to Shikamaru who began to pick out a delicate melody. Neji stood up a little straighter and waited for Sasuke to come in before beginning to sing again.

"_My honeyed words you adore,_

_Stop me if you've heard this one,_

_Yes, stop me if you've heard this_

_Lie, my empty lie before._"

Neji's voice was rising in haunting octaves, bouncing of notes as Naruto came in on the guitar, whining out chords that made him and the audience shudder.

"_I'll give you a few contemplative clichés_

_If you sing me into oblivion._

_I'll counter that with a euphemism,_

_And then your tears will make this so e-say._"

His voice was rock steady as he climbed higher and higher before almost dropping into speech as Lee came in with a fast, rocking beat that made toes tap and fingers dance.

"_You turned my heart to black stone_

_And drained me of my feelings._

_But I have the upper hand_

_As 'Looks over wit' you moan._"

The air was heavy in Neji's lungs, making his words breathier and softer as the keyboard and bass seemed to entwine around him in an intricate, beautiful dance. He could feel the skirt itching his legs slightly, but at that moment he couldn't care less.

"_I'll give you a few contemplative clichés_

_If you sing me into oblivion._

_I'll counter that with a euphemism,_

_And then your tears will make this so e-say._"

The last word almost came out as a chuckle, like he was sharing a secret with the audience as he leaned forward a little, making them hang onto his every word. Shikamaru's lilting melody was being backed up by Sasuke's bass as Naruto countered with his guitar, Neji trying to catch his breath before the next verse.

"_I'm not your knight in armor,_

_Nor your princess in pink silk._

_But I lead you on, my dear_

_Mental mind fuck, scream drama!_"

The excitement was picking him up and sweeping him away, voice echoing off the walls with the instruments, creating a haunting, eerie echo.

"_I'll give you a few contemplative clichés_

_If you sing me into oblivion._

_I'll counter that with a euphemism,_

_And then your tears will make this so e-say._"

The music was dying away as Neji leaned forward again, eyes capturing the audience's as he whispered out the last two lines.

"_You'll find your Saviour._

_It just ain't me, babe._"

He stepped back, breathing roughly as the final notes died away. He glanced down at the audience who seemed frozen in their seats, eyes wide. That funny feeling rose up again, making him bite his lip as he waited for a reaction. There was a moment or two of silence before Sayu jumped to her feet, clapping enthusiastically and jarring the audience out of their stupor as they too rose, clapping loudly. Neji glanced around to Shikamaru who was grinning and bowing. The only thing that kept Neji from doing the same was the shortness of the dress.

"That was fantastic!"

Sayu had clambered up to them and was shaking their hands, beaming madly.

"You guys are going to be bigger than The Suna Rats! I just know it! It's been years since we've had such amazing talent!"

Neji smiled back at her. Part one of the mission accomplished.

They were lead back to the front hall where another woman with a bunch of legal documents awaited them. They signed all the necessary papers, agreeing to the publishing of the article and reviews of their music before they were handed a sheet with numbers on it. Shikamaru fished out his new phone and gave them the number for that, telling them that Shino, their schedule man, would be the one answering it. It was after four when they finally got back on the bus and collapsed onto the sofas, the exhaustion hitting them all except Shino, who was fiddling around with their website again. Shikamaru sat forward and grinned at them all.

"That was really, really good. Everything went perfectly. From what I could see, there weren't any holes in our stories and we did really well in the performance. Heck, even the photo shoot didn't go as badly as I feared. I think we can safely say that we'll be in that magazine, and one step closer to finding those nin."

Neji nodded and scrubbed at his itching eyes, taking out the lenses and breathing a sigh of relief as the annoying green tint disappeared. He jumped slightly as Naruto clapped him on the shoulder.

"Yeah! And Neji didn't even freak out when he had to make up a boyfriend!"

"Or when he basically got an invite to a date from Hiyan."

Naruto gaped at Shikamaru.

"He did!?"

Neji growled.

"Stop it."

Naruto turned on him, grinning madly.

"What happened? Did he kiss you?"

Neji's eye's widened as he turned to Naruto, disgust and shock written all over his face.

"What?! No!"

Naruto frowned.

"But I thought that was what happened when someone really liked you!"

Sasuke scoffed.

"Idiot. That only happens if both parties are willing. Neji's not gay and would not kiss the photographer even if he was."

Naruto huffed and turned back to Neji.

"So what did happen?"

"He gave me his phone number."

Naruto chuckled.

"Are you going to ring him?"

"Never."

Shikamaru drew out the scrap of paper and was entering it on the phone.

"... Why are you adding his number?"

"Because he could be useful if we needed more photographs or another interview with the magazine."

He looked up and smirked at Neji.

"Plus, it's only polite. We don't want people thinking that we're cold."

A small headache was beginning to form behind Neji's eyes as he massaged his temples and scowled.

"As long as he never comes near me again."

By this time even Sasuke was trying not to laugh as he leaned forward.

"Was it me, Neji, or when he was positioning you for you individual photos, did his hands linger a little?"

The temptation to destroy Sasuke was strong.

"Most probably."

Naruto was snickering loudly.

"So, Shikamaru's getting all the girls and Neji's getting all the guys now, huh?"

"It's not as if I want this!"

"Me too. It's exceedingly troublesome."

Lee had joined Shino on the computer and seemed to be discussing the lighting as Neji got up and opened Peace's cage door, letting her hop out a little and refilling her water and food.

"So... What are we going to do now, Shikamaru?"

"We've all worked really hard today, and every thing's been a success, so I think we should just relax. We have a space at a concert hall tomorrow but we're just the beginning performers for a much larger band. We've been allocated two songs, but it's not until nine in the evening. Since we know Hate Mail and I'll Lie, those are the two we're going to play. We'll try to get another one under our belts tomorrow, but we've had a long day and I think we'd be really frayed tomorrow if we didn't rest."

"Cool! Hey, Sasuke, I challenge you to Guitar Hero! And I'm so going to kick your ass!"

"Don't count on it."

Neji sighed as he sat back down on the armchair, considering changing out of his dress and into more comfortable clothes, but he really couldn't be bothered yet and Lee was in the bathroom. For the time being, he was content watching Sasuke and Naruto battle it out as he and Shikamaru watched.

**A/N Woah. That is the longest thing I've ever written, ever. 27 pages! I'm really, really sorry that I didn't update this. I had no excuse. None at all. But your reviews really helped me make the final push and FINALLY finish this chapter! I hope it displays a little more about their feelings and gave you a chuckle or two. Poor Neji. Will he ever live this down?**

**Please read and review! They really, really make my YEAR when I check my inbox and see a review! You could just be pointing out a mistake, I don't care! Just something so I know you've read it! **

**I love you all.**

**P.S. Did anyone else like Hiyan :D?**


	5. Makeup And A Performance

**A/N Yahoo! Look at me, being all good and writing chapter five! I'm on a roll, baby. Even if I am meant to be doing my homework, of which I have terrible and heart breaking amounts xD. It's my own fault for letting a back up happen D: So how do I solve it? Ignore it and hope it'll disappear xD!!! Nah. I'll do it soon :D! Ahh... The ShikaNeji bug is biting me! Please, please review! It makes me so happy, and I send you an individual answer XD!**

Neji had never been one for wishes. An occasional hope here or there was allowed; but no serious wishes. Fate seemed to work in reverse psychology these days, making everything he wished for turn out worse than it already was. But he just couldn't stop himself from wishing that the bed he had to share was marginally bigger, or that Shikamaru cared enough to sleep lightly and not roll on him in the night; or that the bus would stop sometime so they weren't being jiggled around like peas in a sauce pan.

Naturally, as fate couldn't really shrink a bed, it made the bus hit a particularly deep rut while going round a corner and literally threw Shikamaru over him, not giving Neji enough time to escape and return to bed as soon as there was sufficient room. Shikamaru didn't bat an eyelid at being suddenly flung across his team mate. Actually, Neji thought, it was probably more comfortable than the tiny pillow and hard mattress they had to sleep with.

Neji sighed deeply and attempted to wiggle his way out, suppressing a growl as he realized escape was impossible. When that failed, he tried to prod Shikamaru awake but only succeeded in making him tighten his grip.

"Nara. Get off."

Silence. Either Shikamaru was pretending to be asleep or he was actually in a very deep slumber. The first seemed more probable, as no good ninja should be that much of a heavy sleeper, Lee not included, and the anger in his words should have stirred his primal instincts and therefore woken him up.

"Nara. Get off me this second."

To his credit, Shikamaru was an excellent actor but not even he could keep his face completely blank as Neji jabbed his nails into Shikamaru's ribs with a force he usually reserved for fighting with the Gentle Fist. Shikamaru let out an agonized huff of air and frowned.

"I'll do it again if you don't get off me."

Shikamaru slowly opened his eyes, making Neji suddenly feel very uncomfortable at looking down at someone lying on his chest.

"It would be better in the long run if I slept like this."

Of all the answers Shikamaru could've given, that was the last Neji was expecting.

"... Please explain to me how sleeping _on_ me is better than sleeping _beside_ me."

"Hmn... The mattress is extremely uncomfortable for me and is probably going to give me back pains I would rather avoid, the constant knocking against you is making it difficult for either of us to gain a good night's rest, human nature makes us move closer to warmth so we'd bump into each other even if the bus wasn't moving, sleeping like this might strengthen our relationship as best friends and since neither of us are actually gay there wouldn't be any terrible consequences, if one of us wakes up before the others each morning then we can avoid any of them finding out and we're inevitably going to end up in this position at least once every two nights so we might as well just get over the embarrassment of waking up in an unplanned, compromising position. Is that a good enough explanation?"

Neji could feel a vein twitching in his eye. Every single point he had brought up had validity and made actual sense, which made it all the more annoying as he couldn't really resist without looking like a petulant child.

"What makes you think either of us will sleep better like this? It'll put us on our guards even more, if anything."

"I shouldn't think so... It's in human nature to sleep very close to someone and the combined heat may make us drowsier. Also, you're not going to be radiating blood lust or danger. We can at least give it a go."

The most irritating thing was that the heat from Shikamaru's body _was_ making him slightly drowsier as he tried to keep his tired brain on the argument of Why This Was Not A Good Idea.

"But... It may be more comfortable for you, but what about me? I don't want someone lying on me."

"I'm sure you'll adapt."

It was the tone Shikamaru used that made it obvious the conversation was over, he was right and he was not going to move come hell or high water. The sooner those bloody nin attacked, the better. Neji would make sure that they died very slowly and painfully to make up for the terrible humiliation and awkward moments he had to go through.

"Fine. But if this doesn't work, or if I am too uncomfortable, consider it abandoned."

Shikamaru had closed his eyes and was back to ignoring Neji again, his thick ponytail mere millimeters from Neji's nose. The bus jumped and Neji suddenly got a face full of hair.

"Take your damn ponytail out. It's getting up my nose."

Silence. Neji actually growled this time and reached up to yank the tie from his hair, twitching as Shikamaru's hand grabbed his wrist.

"No."

Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Well it's getting in my face."

Shikamaru sighed and turned his head so his hair was facing the other way, letting go of Neji. Unfortunately, Neji could now feel him breathing lightly on his neck and realized he couldn't put his arm back were it was previously. The only available places were either to hang it off the bed at an awkward angle or, heavens forbid, loop it around Shikamaru. Could this get any worse?

Neji decided to wait until Shikamaru was clearly asleep and then try to find a vaguely comfortable position for his arm.

"You're too tense. It's annoying me."

"Well I don't have enough room to put my arm anywhere."

Shikamaru briefly raised his head, rolled his eyes and grabbed Neji's arm, placing it on top of him.

"Problem solved. Sleep."

This was the most surreal moment Neji had ever had. He was in a small bed with someone, another _man_, lying on him with their _arms_ around each other. There was just no conceivable reason for this to be happening. It was like he was in some seriously messed up dream or a genjutsu...

Neji tensed suddenly, urgently whispering the words to release a genjutsu, sighing in relief when nothing changed and a group of bloodthirsty ninja were not about to slice his throat. Shikamaru raised his head again.

"If you do not stop that I am going to knock you out for a good eight hours."

Neji scowled at him and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of someone on top of him and get to sleep. Roughly four minutes later he nodded off.

Neji had no idea what had woken him. He felt warm, the most comfortable he'd been in days, his danger instinct wasn't buzzing and the light was not in his eyes. He blinked a few times and tried to brush away the strands of hair clinging to his face, freezing when he realized he was trapped. He hurriedly ran a mental scan over him, his chakra was fine and there was no poison or injuries to be found. His eyes quickly adjusted to the light as he wrinkled his nose and tried to focus on something. He turned his head to the right, focusing his eyes on his wardrobe before turning to the left to see what was trapping his arm.

He jumped as he nearly hit his nose off Shikamaru's forehead, the memories from the night before rushing back as he paled and looked around, relieved to see that everyone was still fast asleep and hadn't noticed the way he and Shikamaru were sleeping. Speaking of that, what was Shikamaru _doing?! _He had buried his face into Neji's _neck _and wrapped his arm around Neji's waist,effectively trapping him in a sort of hug. Neji was mortified to realize that his arm was looped around Shikamaru's waist too and that it would be impossible to lay all the blame on Shikamaru. He withdrew his arm and tried to wiggle out of Shikamaru's grip, but the position was too awkward. He sighed and poked Shikamaru in the side, jerking his head away as Shikamaru sighed onto Neji's skin, making him shudder weirdly. He doubled his efforts until Shikamaru woke with a groan that made Neji feel even more awkward and uncomfortable.

"Nara, off. It's morning."

"'S too early..."

"I don't care, get off me."

Shikamaru huffed and rolled away, allowing Neji to leap out and beat a hasty escape into the kitchen, feeling strangely cold despite the fact he knew it was warm in the bus. He mentally shrugged and filled up Peace's water and food, petting the dove on the head until her eyes closed in contentment. Neji smiled softly and clipped the leash to her foot, allowing her to hop around on the paper spread underneath the cage.

He ran a tired hand through his hair, noting that it was slightly greasy and could do with a wash. He grabbed a few towels and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Shikamaru felt cold. He hadn't meant to get quite so friendly with Neji during the night, but his reasons for the new sleeping arrangement were at least proving to be right. The mattress really was horrific. He sighed into his pillow and and tried to get back to sleep, noting that the bus had stopped moving and there was water running somewhere. Neji was probably showering.

It would probably be a good idea if he had one after Neji had finished, but he couldn't be bothered to get up yet despite the racket Naruto's snores and the water made. Speaking of the shower, had Neji taken any clean clothes in? He certainly hadn't returned to the bedroom and unless he had a secret stash of them, Shikamaru doubted it. After a moment he shrugged, it wasn't his concern.

He sighed again and tried to get comfier, whacking a few dents in the mattress. He grabbed Neji's pillow and placed it on top of his, drawing back and turning it over when he realized that that side smelt strongly of the shampoo Neji used. Plus it was warm and making Shikamaru feel weird about sharing a bed with someone. Which was stupid, as they were just friends and had to do what was needed in order to be the most alert and productive, sleeping on each other or not. It wasn't as if they were lovers, so why did it feel so... Intimate?

Shikamaru growled and threw off the covers, stalking out of the bed and dropping down onto the sofa, scowl firmly in place. Why was he getting so het up over this? It was nothing, meant nothing and most importantly would lead to nothing. Hell, Neji had a brain on his shoulders and was straight so why would, no, why _should_ anything change between them? They were almost equals. In fact, Neji was the only one he could have a proper conversation with or actually be challenged by in Shogi. As much as Shikamaru hated to admit it, the cold, arrogant man was probably his closest friend, second to Chouji.

They'd never really talked prior to the Sasuke Incident. Neji was Neji, there, cold and always training. And Shikamaru was Shikamaru, lazy, bored and always sleeping. They really didn't have much in common, except for the huge IQ, love of peace and quiet, Shogi and... Well, that was were the similarity's ended. But when Neji was in hospital under the most intensive care because Shikamaru had made the biggest mistakes of his life and had only broken a finger while everyone else was practically dead, he'd felt real guilt and fear for the first time ever.

_Chouji had been stabilized quickly. Man, that guy could hold his own if he needed to. But Neji had taken a fucking huge arrow through the chest and had medic nin swarming all over him, trying to keep that faint heartbeat going as Shikamaru bit his lip and watched the green chakra scurry over him through the waiting room window. When Neji walked out the hospital three days later, Shikamaru jumped down from the tree he'd been waiting in and fell into step beside him. He'd been assured by the nurse that Naruto would be running around in no time and he knew Kiba was already at home, playing the hero as Chouji and Ino gorged themselves at that restaurant they always went to. Neji was the only one he hadn't... Well, apologized to._

_Neji said nothing to him the whole two miles into the silent, green forest. With a sigh he came to a stop, slumping down in front of a tree before turning to Shikamaru._

"_Why are you following me?"_

_Shikamaru plonked himself down opposite Neji._

"_I... wanted to apologize for the mistakes I made when we tried to get Sasuke back."_

_Neji raised an eyebrow._

"_I am not aware that you could've done anything else. From what I see, your plan was the best for the situation and it was only my individual weakness that let me down."_

_Shikamaru snorted and started to scratch at the ground with a small twig._

"_That spider bastard was a hundred times harder than anything any of us had ever faced before."_

"_That was hardly your fault. We went on that mission knowing full well what we would probably face. Orochimaru's henchmen are hardly going to be like a spar against a Chuunin."_

"_I guess..."_

"_But you still feel bad that Chouji, Naruto, Kiba and I were badly hurt?"_

"_In a nutshell."_

"_Then you are obviously not cut out to be a Chuunin."_

_Shikamaru sighed and dug the twig into the ground._

"_You're probably right."_

_He suddenly ducked as his instincts told him something hard was heading his way fast. He looked up to see a sizable rock soar past the space his head had been in a second previously._

"_That is a highly tuned Ninja instinct, Nara. You are by no means the worst ninja here. I'm sure someone's already told you this, and if no one has don't make them, but pull yourself together."_

_Shikamaru snorted._

"_Yeah, been there, heard that."_

"_Then take notice of it. You are tone of the best strategists and if you refuse to believe that or give up then you are a failure and I shall waste no more of my precious time on you."_

_That was more like the cold Neji he knew. Shikamaru lay back as Neji stood up, inspecting the canopy above him._

"_I... Had no idea it would be this hard. I know worse mistakes have been made in the past, and by those standards mine were tiny, but it's still difficult to see your friends get hurt."_

_Neji huffed and started up his Byakugan._

"_Well resign from Chuunin then."_

"_As if Tsunade would let me."_

"_Then get over it."_

_Shikamaru got up and turned to face Neji._

"_I am sincerely sorry for your injuries and I swear that it won't happen again if we ever go on a mission together."_

_Neji turned to him._

"_Don't make promises you can't keep."_

"_Fine. I am sincerely sorry for your injuries and I swear that I will do everything I can not to let it happen again if we ever go on a mission together."_

"_Which is exactly what you did in the last."_

_Shikamaru frowned. He'd been trapped. How interesting. The last time that happened he was six and playing some Jounin strategist at Shogi._

"_Do you play Shogi?"_

_Neji blinked in surprise, Byakugan fading._

"_... Yes, a little."_

_Shikamaru shrugged._

"_We should play some time. I think it would be interesting."_

_Neji smirked._

"_Sure."_

The small friendship they'd built up through Shogi was something that was never brought up in their conversations. It wasn't anything like his and Chouji's friendship, or the small one he'd made with Naruto, but it was there. They met about once or twice a month and played one or two games that could last a whole day. Speaking rarely came into it, but there was a mutual understanding that needed no words.

_Shikamaru had never lost before he started playing Neji. It was systematic. Neji won a game, Shikamaru won the next. One time Shikamaru set up the board and immediately made an illegal move, much to Neji's horror._

"_What are you doing? You know full well that's not allowed, Nara."_

"_Let's play by no rules."_

"_How can you play with no rules? It'll be a chaotic shamble."_

"_It doesn't matter."_

_Neji was silent for a moment before taking a piece and directly moving it into checkmate._

"_I win."_

"_Nope."_

_Shikamaru pointed to a random piece._

"_That's my king."_

"_What? Then how will either of us win if neither of us can take the king?"_

"_Well, who said we needed a winner?"_

_Neji had just blinked at him for a minute before letting out a rare laugh._

"_Fine. No rules."_

It had the most fun game of Shogi Shikamaru had ever had; and from the small smile on Neji's face it was almost certain he was enjoying it too. They'd talked that day. About what ever thought popped into their heads, be it family, Naruto's latest annoying gimmick, Sasuke's absence or which missions they'd completed. There were no under currents, no hidden meanings or ulterior motives. It was... Nice, friendly even.

Shikamaru was yanked from his thoughts as the bathroom door opened and Neji stepped out, wrapped in towels. He flushed slightly as he realized Shikamaru was sitting there.

"I, er, forgot to take any clothes into the bathroom with me."

Shikamaru nodded and closed his eyes, wondering if he could get a few moments more sleep before the rest of the group awoke and there was a mad rush for the shower. From the noises coming from the bedroom, he doubted it. Shikamaru bit back a groan of annoyance and grabbed a towel and some clean clothes before going into the bathroom and starting up the water again.

Neji's cupboard was refusing to let go of the top he'd chosen. Neji yanked it a few more times and grinned as it slipped out into his hands. He quickly got dressed and prodded Naruto awake, telling him to get everyone else up before making his way into the main area and throwing together some cereal and milk for himself, waiting for the rest to appear. Naruto was pushed out, still half asleep, by a slightly disgruntled looking Sasuke, followed more sedately by Shino and Lee. Neji grunted and pushed over the cardboard box and the carton of milk, watching with some amusement as Sasuke proceeded to nudge Naruto into sitting down.

"Is he always this dopey in the morning?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Unless someone attacks him."

Neji snorted and threw a spoon at Naruto's head, snickering as he lunged to avoid it and fell off the stool.

"Where is youthful Team Leader Shii?"

"Shower."

"Ah! May I use it after him?"

Neji flicked back his wet hair and shrugged.

"Had one. I don't care."

"Of course!"

Neji finished his breakfast and went back into the bedroom, grabbing the pair of straighteners and plugging them into the same place as before, steadily ignoring the worrying hiss and crackle of the water drying quickly. The lack of Lee and the re-appearance of Shikamaru meant that Lee had gotten to the shower before the others.

Shikamaru plonked himself down next to Neji, rubbing at his wet hair already in the trademark pony tail with a towel, shaking out the last droplets of water. He turned to Neji.

"I don't suppose you have, but have you given any thought to writing these songs that the Aides didn't finish?"

Neji shook his head.

"I think it's probably best if you do most of it. You're singing them and the singer holds the main tune, so it should be easier to work everyone else's parts around your tune."

Neji sighed.

"Fine. But I've never been good at poetry."

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I'm not sure it matters too much. Anyway, we're not really going to be a band. This is just a mission."

Neji rolled his eyes.

"I know that. You think I want to be in this get up for ever?"

"Hah. Pity."

Neji turned to Shikamaru, one eyebrow raised.

"... Why is that a pity?"

Shikamaru shrugged and stood up, stretching lazily and looking back at him.

"Meh. You're a good singer. And it kinda suits you."

He turned around and walked away, joining Sasuke and Lee who was now out of the shower and shrieking about how wonderful he now felt, leaving a very bemused Neji behind, staring at him like he had just grown an extra head.

Suited him? What the hell had Nara meant? Had he meant the singing or how he dresses? How on earth could these disgusting, lacy _things_ suit him? Nara was obviously out of his mind or deliberately trying to annoy him.

Neji was shaken out of his thoughts by the smell of burning hair. He swore and looked down in horror at the smoking metal clamped around a lock of his hair. He quickly yanked away the straighteners and threw them down on the table, gaping in disbelief and the destroyed hair that broke off into his palm. That was going to look so stupid. He growled and stood up, throwing the handful of hair into the bin and going over to the draws in the kitchen area, rummaging around for a pair of scissors.

Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder and wordlessly handed him a pair. Neji muttered a hasty thanks and quickly snipped off the ragged ends, leaving a chin length strand of hair hanging down. He sighed deeply and went to finish the job, carefully making sure that he didn't fry off any more of his hair.

By the time he finished, everyone was showered and clean and waiting for some sort of signal.

Shikamaru stood up.

"Right... We've got a gig tonight. We're only the opening band, but we've got to play two or three songs. I think we all have Hate Mail and I'll Lie down, so we should practice a new one that Shino's got for us. Any objections-"

A tinkling melody started to float out of Shikamaru's pocket. There was a second of silence before Shikamaru yanked out a phone and flipped it up.

"One new text?"

"Read it! Read it!"

Shikamaru cleared his throat.

"Hey. I'm glad you got my number. Give me a call some time, ex ex ex Hiyan. I think it's for you, Neji."

There was an awkward pause as the cup Neji was grasping started to splinter. He looked up and fixed them all with a murderous glare.

"Who texted him?"

Shikamaru cleared his throat.

"I... Uh, I didn't want to come across as rude. I only said that you'd got his number."

The cup was caving in on itself.

"So you took the liberty of sending him a message, posing as me, clearly expressing interest?"

"It's not like that. I just thought it was a little cold to completely ignore him, plus he could be a valuable ally."

Neji's voice had dropped to a low, dangerous hiss.

"And what do you propose I do now? Call him and lead him on or act even colder and ignore him?"

Shikamaru shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"I think you should call him and clearly say you're not interested, but would like to be his friend."

"I don't want to be his friend."

"... Ah"

The cup shattered with a loud crack, showering Neji with small pieces of plastic.

"No. Not 'Ah'. If I am seen with him then people will assume we are together!"

"Which might not be a bad thing publicity wise if we start running out of steam..."

"... I don't believe this."

Neji's fingers were digging into his palms as he tried to keep calm.

"You're deliberately trying to set me up with him. Do you derive some sick pleasure from watching my humiliation?"

"You're being stupid now and you're overreacting, Neji. I would've done the same thing if you were pretending to be straight and it was a woman."

Neji _knew_ he was overreacting, but he felt frazzled and embarrassed, his emotions clouding his reasoning ability.

"What do you mean 'pretending'!? I am straight, there's absolutely no pretense about it, Nara! I swear to god this mission is stressful enough without you setting me up with which ever pervert crosses our path first!"

"I'm sure Hiyan's not a pervert and if he is you're strong enough to beat him off."

"You know full well that's not the point!"

"Well why bring it up then?"

"Because... -"

"Because you know you're not being asked to do anything homosexual but you're still rebelling against the idea because you probably see gays as weaker, plus you have to wear a dress and if you ever did have to meet with Hiyan again you'd have to play the weaker one."

Neji's mind was reeling. He was vaguely aware of the absolute silence of his team mates, who were all looking suitably worried and anxious.

"T-That's not true, Nara. I have absolutely no... No preset ideas that homosexuals are weaker."

"Then why are you getting so het up? I've had to pretend to be gay, but I'm not overreacting as badly as you are! Jeez, I nearly had to sleep with a guy until I put him under a genjutsu!"

"That's completely irrelevant! I have no problems pretending to be gay, but I don't like _you_ setting _me_ up with who ever you fancy! It's not necessary for this mission!"

"For the last time, Hyuuga, I did not 'Set you up' with _anyone_! I replied as I would have made you do, saying that you had got his number! You are overreacting and this conversation is over."

The shards of plastic were slicing into his palm, drops of blood trickling out through his tightly clenched fists. He suddenly stood up and strode over to the door, hitting the release button on the now stationary bus.

"Where are you-"

"I need some air."

Neji jumped down, pleasantly surprised to find himself in a small wood. He took one quick glance around, memorizing the bus's position and strode off into the trees, smashing things that crossed his path.

Shikamaru let out a loud sigh and slumped down onto a chair.

"We give him ten minutes, then I'm going to go get him."

There was an awkward silence as Naruto and Lee fiddled with various pieces of electric equipment while Shino and Sasuke just sat there. Shikamaru looked over at them.

"Does anyone else think he overreacted, or am I the only one?"

"He overreacted."

Shikamaru nodded at Sasuke. Neji really had gone over the top this time, which was highly unusual for him. It had unsettled Shikamaru. He glanced at the clock and sighed, shoving the phone into his pocket and walking over to the door.

"I'll be back soon."

Everyone nodded as he hit the release button and strode out into the woods. There was a small path of broken leaves and twigs marking the way Neji had went. Shikamaru hadn't realized quite how badly Neji had snapped if he was being this slack and leaving such an obvious trail. After a few minutes of following the path and leaping over several newly snapped trees, Shikamaru found Neji leaning against a rock, eyes closed and breathing deeply.

Shikamaru cautiously wandered over and sat down opposite Neji.

"Ne-"

"I overreacted."

"... A little."

There was silence for a few more moments.

"I think I was just... I don't like people deciding things for me. Even if it's little things, I'd prefer to have a say in the matter."

Shikamaru could remember Neji's fight with Naruto in the Chuunin exams, declaring that fate was almighty and everything was predeclared. Shikamaru hid a small smile, sure that Neji would take it the wrong way, but it was obvious that the Hyuuga was desperately trying to fight whatever fate was throwing at him.

"I'm sorry I got so angry."

"Well, I'm sorry I contacted him without your permission."

Neji sighed and slumped back, looking slightly more relaxed.

"You don't have to ever meet up with him. I just wanted to establish a few contacts in the media industry and didn't realize how it reflected your feelings towards him."

"Unfortunately now he's going to think I'm interested in him..."

"Well, you'll just have to stress that you only want to be his friend."

"Huh. You make it sound so easy."

Shikamaru snickered and flopped backwards, glad that Neji had gotten over his momentary anger.

"Hey, Neji, can I ask something?"

"Depends."

"When you were younger or something, did you have... A traumatic incident or something?"

Even if the question wasn't direct, Shikamaru was sure that Neji would remember him saying that Neji had some preset ideas about gays, and would probably be able to get what Shikamaru was asking. Neji was silent for a long time, but just as Shikamaru thought he'd crossed the line, Neji started to speak.

"When I was younger-."

Neji froze, looking slightly surprised that he'd said anything. He took a deep breath.

"When I was younger, a cousin of mine was... Found in a relationship with another man. He... Yuki... Was put on trial and punished for deciding to stay with his lover..."

"Yuki? The name rings a bell..."

"It should. He was with a Nara."

"Oh... Oh! Himaru. My cousin."

"Hmn. Well, Yuki had a lot of terrible things done to him before he left..."

"And you don't want to be seen as gay and go through the same things?"

"Ina nutshell, I suppose."

Shikamaru snorted.

"Well, that I can understand."

There was another silence.

"Is he still living near your clan?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I don't think so. I think they moved to somewhere near the middle of the town."

"Oh."

"..Are you going to reply to Hiyan?"

Neji groaned.

"I have to."

Shikamaru dug the phone out of his pocket and threw it over to Neji.

"There."

The woods were silent apart from the clicking of buttons. Finally, they stopped and the phone was thrown back to Shikamaru.

"What did you say?"

"Yeah, it's good to have a friend in the business."

Shikamaru snickered.

"Short but sweet."

He climbed to his feet and looked over at Neji.

"Let's go. We've got our first concert tonight."

"I know."

They walked back in comfortable silence, Shikamaru hitting the release button on the side of the bus and going in, Neji following.

"Alright. Shino, have you printed off the music for the third song?"

"Yes."

Shino handed Shikamaru and Neji some sheets of paper and sat down. Lee and Naruto were powering through their parts, practicing hard as Sasuke lazily plucked out his own score.

"We'd better get started."

Neji nodded and looked through the lyrics before wrinkling his nose slightly.

"Throw Me The Key? This song's awful."

"Tough. We don't have anything else."

"Are there no others? Can't we do something different? We could show a more humorous side to us rather than all these sad songs."

"You mean a parody?"

By this time everyone was listening to their conversation.

"No. A cover of another song. One that's not this depressing."

"It would have to vaguely fit our genre."

Naruto jumped up.

"Oh! Oh! I know! Why don't you two duet something? You're both amazing singers, and it would be funny if Neji did like, the girls part and Shikamaru the boy's!"

"I refuse to do a love song duet or anything of that sort with Shikamaru."

Sasuke snorted.

"Then do a hate song with him."

"Do you know any?"

Sasuke thought for a few moments.

"Wasn't there a song by... The Black Fried Peas or something?"

"Oh! The one that went shut up, just shut up shut up?"

"Yes."

"Black Eyed Peas. I can print off the music for you."

Neji leant over, looking at the screen and skimmed the lyrics.

"It's a failed relationship. That indicates Shikamaru and I had one."

There was silence for a moment before Lee struck a Good Guy pose and said,

"Fan service?"

Neji turned to him.

"What's that?"

"It's where someone pretends to be something or do something with someone else to make the fans happy. Manga-ka's do that, but they call it 'Having Moments'."

"Oh..."

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I don't mind, but I'd like to hear the song first."

Shino called it up and started playing it. As the dying notes faded Shikamaru turned to Neji.

"What do you think?"

"Can you rap? You've got a long part."

"I'm sure I can manage."

The printer whirred into life as Shino started to print out the sheet music, handing it over to them and closing the web page.

"Fifteen minutes practice, then you should start."

Neji sighed and went into the bedroom, repeating the lyrics and tune over and over until they were well and firmly stuck in his mind. He'd have to either drop some of the "Shut up"s to fit the random warbling notes the writer seemed to like or miss them out. It was probably better to drop some and make place for the wailing; and what was he supposed to do while Shikamaru was rapping? Just stand there?

Neji's thoughts were interrupted as Shikamaru poked his head around the door.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Shikamaru sat down on Naruto's bunk, facing Neji before he began to speak.

"I've set the keyboard to automatically play the key part, so I can come up on stage with you. We've also transposed the violin parts to Naruto's guitar as there doesn't seem to be one playing a big part. Sasuke's all set on pedal notes and the occasional accompaniment. Lee's got his drum part down, I think." 

"Fine."

"But as you've probably seen, I've got quite a lot of... Rapping while you've got almost nothing during those parts. What do you want to do? I'd suggest sharing the rapping, but it would confuse the audience."

"I'm not sure... I think it would probably be best to treat this as a mini play and act out the lyrics the best we can."

"... That could definitely work. Especially if we seriously over acted, making it seem almost comical..."

"Sure."

There were several loud kerranging noises from the living area.

"I guess they're ready to start. Let's go."

Neji nodded, following Shikamaru out the door and grabbing a spare microphone from a box full of guitar and bass strings he'd found. Neji silently handed it to Shikamaru and nodded to Naruto and the rest. There was a brief silence before Naruto started up his beginning solo.

**In Konoha**

Sakura was still in a state of shock. She printed out the picture of Neji in the Dress, still not quite believing what she was holding in her hands. Ino had agreed to come over and was meant to be arriving any minute. Sakura let out a shaky laugh, getting up and putting the paper on her bed just as the doorbell went. She sent a flare of chakra down to Ino, a shinobi's equivalent of inviting her up. Three seconds later, Ino strode through the door.

"What's up, Sakura? You sounded really weird on the phone."

"Sorry. Here, there's something I want you to see."

She picked up the piece of paper and gave it to Ino.

"Who do you think those people are?"

"Uh... Oh! It's Sasuke-kun! Wow, he looks so hot in that get up! Hey, and Naruto-kun's not that bad either... And Shikamaru too! Hah, Shino looks the same as ever and Lee looks... Almost good looking. Wow, who knew our boys cleaned up so well, eh?"

Ino paused.

"But who are these two girls?"

Sakura pointed to Niki.

"She's my friend."

"And the other?"

"Work it out."

Ino shot Sakura a puzzled glance before looking back at the photo.

"Um... She looks... Slightly like Hinata, but I know she's in Konoha, and she's too small... Plus the hair's too long and a different shade... It's definitely not Tenten... Which other girls have that colour hair and green eyes...? She looks a bit manly though... Way too much cheek bone, hardly any chest, but she's got alright hips..."

There was silence.

"... Oh my god, Sakura, is this a guy!? Sasuke-kun's with another guy?! Who is that?! It's not Kiba or Chouji... "

There was another long silence and Ino's voice was shaking slightly as she started to speak.

"S-Sakura... Please... Is that... Hyuuga Neji...?"

Sakura nodded.

"I-I'm positive..."

"Where the hell did you get this?! Is it photo shopped!?"

"No, and I got it from here."

Sakura lead Ino over to the computer, showing her Niki's website and the band one. After about five minutes, Ino started to guffaw with laughter.

"Oh my god, how the hell did they manage to get him in that?! Are you sure this isn't fake?!"

Sakura started to snigger.

"Nope! This is totally real! It's for a mission they're all on."

"Damn, I wish I was on that one! I'd pay anything to see Neji in drag!"

Sakura gasped and turned to Ino.

"We can! We can go see them 'perform'!"

Ino burst out laughing again.

"So we can! Let's go, Sakura! Do they have any dates up?"

"Not yet, but when they do, I'll call!"

"We'll need camera's..."

Sakura grinned as she started to make a list of things they would need.

**On The Bus**

Neji sank down onto the sofa, out of breath and slightly irritated. Shino had made them go through all the songs at least five times, full performances, actions and note perfect. Not to mention the many stopping's and restarting's. If Neji was forced to tell someone to shut up again, he might just go mad...

His thoughts were interrupted as Shikamaru sat down next to him, gulping water and massaging his throat.

"I never knew it would be this tiring."

Neji didn't say anything, too busy trying not to steal the glass of water Shikamaru had and summoning the energy to get up and get his own.

"... Do you want some?"

Neji turned and took the half empty glass from Shikamaru, turning it so he was drinking out the side Shikamaru hadn't used.

"You can finish it."

"Thank you."

Shikamaru shrugged and got up, looking at the small screen of the phone. He frowned and rubbed the back of his head.

"Huh. We've been practicing for four hours. It's five fifteen now. I think we should grab something to eat; we're meant to be arriving at the venue at about six to set up, even if we're not on until eight fifteen. Lee, if you and Shino could whip us up something? I know you made lunch, but still... I'll go talk to the driver."

Neji felt nervousness twist his gut. Three hours. Three hours until he had to do this. Sing for a crowd, dressed like a woman. Just three hours...

Neji took a deep breath. No-one was going to recognize him. As much as he hated to say it, he looked like a real woman in those clothes, so any pictures seen would not make him an obvious male. There was no way someone could work it out. Thousands of women had long brown hair and green eyes. Still... If anyone he knew outside this mission saw him with those lot, who were hardly unrecognizable, there was a chance he'd be found out...

Neji let out a gentle groan. Why, why, WHY had he taken on this godforsaken mission!? He slowly stood up, joining Shikamaru at the front of the bus just in time to hear the driver confirm their arrival at six. Lee and Shino were working quickly, food piling up in bowls and on plates as Sasuke and Naruto attempted to fix a broken string on Naruto's guitar.

"Sasuke, you're doing it wrong!"

"No, idiot, it's got to loop around a few times so it sticks and we can tune it!"

"But not when you first attach it, stupid! You have to thread it through the hole and then tie a knot! It says right here, bastard!"

There was a silence.

"Fine. Fine. But you'll break it."

"HAH! I knew it! I knew I was right! How does it feel to be wrong, Sasuke bastard? Feel the burn of the Uzumaki flame!"

"Shut up, dead last. Just attach it already."

Naruto was still chuckling and gloating five minutes later; the guitar re-strung and in tune as Shino turned to them, gesturing to come and eat. There was a small scramble for food and plates before everyone was sitting on something, eating in a comfortable silence.

"Hey, Shikamaru, will we get like, dressed up there?"

"I think so. I think we should wear something comfortable to set up in, and then use the remaining hour or so to get ready. I think we get dressed on the bus, but I'm not sure."

"Oh, OK. What will we be wearing when we do get ready?"

"I think we should wear clothes that are as comfortable as possible. Nothing too heavy or with any logos. It'll be really hot in there so we should dress as light as possible, while still fitting the image we've set." 

"Right. Oh, and what does setting up mean? What do we do?"

"Shino has to get his lighting set up and we have to make sure our instruments are working properly, that every thing's set like we want it and so that we can see how space we have to work with."

Naruto grunted and continued shoving food into his mouth. By the time they had all finished, it was five forty five and Neji was really starting to feel nervous.

"Right, let's change."

Neji grabbed contact lenses, a t-shirt and the trousers he'd been wearing before the dresses and skirts, disappearing into the bathroom and quickly getting changed. He emerged and sat on the sofa, waiting for the others to finish getting dressed. Just as everyone came out, the bus ground to a halt.

The door hissed open and Shikamaru jumped out, going over to greet the man with a bright yellow clip board running up to the bus as the rest of the group followed.

"Attention deficit disorder?"

He was slightly out of breath.

"That's right."

"Can I see some validation please?"

Shino leant over and wordlessly handed a stack of fake papers Tsunade had left for them to the man. He nodded his thanks and flipped through them all quickly, inspecting them and then giving them back with a satisfied nod.

"If you'd come with me."

He lead them inside a large hall, flashing his pass at several guards before they finally arrived at a huge stage where people we running around tapping on microphones and testing out amplifiers.

"If you'd like to set up and leave your instruments and any props on stage, then go into your dressing room and get changed. Please wait for someone there, who will take you to the main stage and tell you when to go on."

He turned to Shino.

"I assume you're the manager?"

"Yes. I do the lighting too."

"I see. There's a booth up those stairs. If you'd like to go set up now, unless there are any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads before going back out to the bus and grabbing clothing, instruments and in Neji's case; that infernal make up box. Judging by the look on everyone's faces, there was a lot of tension in them all, Lee almost giving the game away when he lifted the whole drum kit with one hand and nearly strode out the door before Shikamaru could stop him.

They dumped their items in a small, slightly smelly room with ADD scrawled on the door; quickly taking the instruments out of their cases and carrying them to the stage in silence. There was a nervous, tense atmosphere that surrounded them, making Neji feel slightly ill as he looked down onto the floor; soon to be swarming with people. He swallowed thickly and made sure his microphone was plugged in. A man in a brown smock trotted over, smiling.

"Hey! Want me to check if that's alright and working?"

Neji nodded.

"Thank you."

"No problems!"

The man re-jiggled the plug and flicked a couple of switches, not flinching when a deafening scream of static burst from the speakers. He turned a few dials and handed it back to Neji.

"Sing a few notes, I've got a guy in tech making sure it's all working."

Neji sighed and softly sung up and down a scale.

"Again, with words, please. Just la mi fa so stuff, yeah?"

Neji did as the man requested, ignoring him as he flicked more switches and flashed thumbs ups and downs to the guy with Shino.

"Great. Make sure you don't go too near a speaker in the performance, or you'll kill everyone with the static scream."

Neji nodded and clipped it to the stand, turning to watch as the guy quickly helped the rest of them set up their instruments. Shikamaru ambled over.

"Let's go get dressed. We've got around an hour and a half before we're on. The guy's set us all up."

They started to walk towards the changing rooms.

"How come it didn't take a long time?"

"Well... We didn't have a lot of picky settings or special positions. The way the basics were set out was what we wanted, and we don't yet know how to make all sorts of effects. However, Shino's talking to the tech guy up there, and I'm sure he can work out if we need anything we haven't thought of."

Neji quietly agreed, thinking about the upcoming concert. He grabbed his choice of clothing and struggled into it, surprised to find that it was getting easier to get into and he was getting confused and lost a lot less. Despite the fact this was the third set of clothes he'd changed into today. He yanked on a pair of fishnet tights and slipped on a pair stilettos, quickly running a brush through his hair. Just as he emerged from behind a curtain he'd found, there was a knock at the door.

His heart skipped a beat. Surely they couldn't be ready this soon!? They'd only just left the stage! Shikamaru frowned and opened the door. A cheerful woman with a huge case was standing there.

"Hi! My name's Mimi, and I do make-up! I'm a volunteer worker and help bands with their make-up for free! All I ask is a few photos to add to my portfolio and a mention if anyone asks! Are you interested with a little help?"

Shikamaru smiled at her.

"Of course. None of us are sure how the lighting will make us look, and we'd be honored if you'd really like to help us."

Mimi beamed at him, thanking him and walking in, dropping her case onto the counter by the huge mirrors.

"Who's going first?"

Naruto pushed Neji forwards. Neji spluttered and tried to turn back, but Naruto pushed him again.

"You're ready, Ne-... 'Karu! The rest of us aren't yet!"

Neji sighed and stopped fighting. He slowly walked over to Mimi who was drawing all sorts of terrifying looking things from her bag. She turned to him and beamed.

"Wow! I love your dress! What's your name? I love doing girl's make up!"

Neji sighed again.

"Thank you. I'm Hikaru, and I'm a guy."

Mimi's smile faltered.

"Oh my gosh, you are and all! Wow! This is so exciting! Are you looking for a male or female look? Uh, sorry stupid question! Do you have your own makeup?"

Neji waited until he was sure the bombardment of questions was over.

"Yes."

He quickly got the bag and gave it to her. She emptied it and grinned.

"Wow, this is all really good! Can I use your own stuff? Please?"

"Sure."

"Great! If you'll just sit down here."

Neji sat; crossing his legs and making sure his dress wasn't sticking up. Mimi smiled at him, brandishing a huge brush and a pot of something that smelt like dust.

"Stay still! I don't want to get this in your eyes!"

Neji decided to close his eyes, silently wishing his Byakugan didn't make all those veins pop up so he clearly could see what she was doing and not just rely on his awareness of space. He suppressed a flinch as the brush attacked his cheek, tickling him and covering him in some sort of powder. It was really very, very uncomfortable. After a few moments of being mauled with the brush, it was withdrawn and he cracked open an eye, looking into the mirror.

The only difference was a slightly pink hue of his normally pale skin. Mimi grabbed a sheet and threw it round him, explaining it was so she didn't get any on his clothes and would've put it on first but she got distracted and forgot. He grimaced as she applied more red stuff to his cheeks, prodding furiously and with a venom that took him by surprise. She smiled sweetly and reached for a pencil like thing.

"I love eyeliner!"

Neji nodded, pretending he knew what she was talking about.

"Open your eyes and look up, please."

Neji did as she was told, biting his lip as the pencil came closer and closer to his face. He winced as he realized it was something to do with his eyes and she was probably going to try and colour them in or something equally horrific. She gently pulled down his bottom eyelid and started scribbling on it. Neji let out a short but undignified noise of surprise and pain; making Naruto snigger somewhere behind him.

She relinquished her hold on his eye, quickly drawing a line around the top of it and flicking it off to the side. Then she reached for the other. This time, Neji was slightly more prepared for the attack but couldn't help the involuntary flinch as that weird itching pain started up again. Neji sighed in relief as she finally put the pencil back into the bag; avoiding looking at himself in the mirror. He actually couldn't bear to witness the damage.

Mimi was rummaging around in his bag, oohing and ahhing as various things caught her eye. Finally, she decided on a bright red tube and a clear tube. She held them up to the light, grinning like a maniac. Mimi slowly unscrewed the red tube and advanced, eyes on Neji's mouth.

"Ahh!"

There was a silence. Mimi frowned.

"Hey, say 'Ahh!'"

Neji opened his mouth, praying to every god out there she wasn't going to make him eat it.

"... Ah."

Mimi swooped down, drawing a small brush from the tube with lighting like speed and smearing some of the liquid attached onto his mouth. Neji fought the urge to close his mouth and wipe the stuff off.

"Now say 'Oooh!'"

"... Oh."

She quickly smeared more on before he could object, making him rub his lips together. She smiled, and did exactly the same all over again but with a clear one.

"Brilliant! We're nearly done!"

She grabbed a small black bottle and attacked his eyelashes, making them clump together and feel heavy before she grabbed some pinkish brown powder, throwing it on his eyelids. She tutted and reached for something small and metal.

"Have you never plucked your eyebrows, Hikaru?"

Neji slowly shook his head, ignoring Naruto's laughter behind him.

"Wow! They're really in shape, but I just wanna tidy them up a little!"

Neji didn't say anything. Mimi came closer, tongue poking out the side of her mouth in concentration and she yanked out a stray hair.

"Ow!"

Neji felt his eyes water with the sudden, unexpected pain.

"Oh, shush."

She quickly yanked out more, Neji trying to blink back the pain and not give in to his instincts and Gentle Fist that girl all the way back to Konoha, beaming smile or not. After hours of torture and a frustrating feeling of defenselessness, Mimi deemed Neji's eyebrows acceptable and stood back, grinning.

"All done!"

She whipped off the sheet.

"Take a look!"

Neji really didn't want to. He felt like a plastic doll, caked in things that smelt funny and made him itch and tingle. Slowly, he raised his eyes to the mirror; and paled. There was a ghastly _thing_ in the mirror. Something with red lips and long brown hair. Something that was _him_. Neji felt a little faint.

"... Do you like it?"

No. Not in the slightest, because he looked just like a drag queen and really far too much like an actual women and now he could feel his cheeks flush red because what would everyone _think_ when he went up on that stage; dressed and looking like this?! He felt his hand start to twitch and jumped as Shikamaru clapped a hand on his shoulder, breaking the tense silence.

"He loves it! He's just really nervous about the concert and he's always quiet when he's happy. Our Hikaru's pretty backwards at time."

The fingers were digging into his shoulders, tapping out a standard Konoha Shinobi code that he could recognize in his sleep.

_Get grip play along smile_

Neji forced a smile onto his painted lips.

"Y-Yeah... It's... Great. Thank you."

"Great! I'm so happy! Can I take a photo?"

Neji nodded, trying not to dislodge the stuff on his cheeks and face. There was a snap and a flash of light as Mimi took a quick photo.

"Awesome, I'll just do a little to everyone else so their faces don't look all greasy and shiny in the lights!"

Shikamaru prodded Neji out of the chair and sat down, chatting pleasantly to the women as she coated him in powder and added a little red to his cheeks. Neji could feel his face burning as he staggered over into a corner, collapsing on a chair and avoiding looking at Sasuke, Naruto and Lee who were all strangely silent.

He jumped again as he felt another hand on his shoulder, cursing himself for letting his guard slip so drastically. This time, it was Naruto.

"It's not so bad. You're even more unrecognizable now!"

Neji nodded miserably. Naruto patted his shoulder one more time before bounding off to Sasuke who was having a fight with his intentionally ripped up shirt; as he'd accidentally put his various limbs in the wrong holes. Neji's face was itching. He glanced at the clock, heart thumping as he realized he only had an hour left. Neji let his gaze wander back to the mirror, spotting Shikamaru getting up and coming over to join him.

"How troublesome. This stuff is itchy."

Neji murmured something incoherent even to him.

"I think when you go on stage, you should introduce us. Something like: Hey! We're Attention Deficit Disorder, my name's Hikaru Hidehiku, I'm a guy and I'd like to show you what we've all got! Or something like that."

"Alright."

Shikamaru sighed.

"This is a stupid question. Are you alright?"

Neji snorted.

"I have a choice?"

"Not really. Is there anything I can do?"

"No. I'll be fine."

And he would be fine. He'd faced near death, gone on missions not expecting to come back, killed many people in cold blood and seen his own comrades killed before his eyes. Hell, he'd even faced mild torture and had the scars on his lower back to prove it. So why was he getting the shakes about performing to a non dangerous crowd? It was stupid. He closed his eyes and brought his mind forward, taking complete mental control and slowly facing and filing away his worries.

"I'll leave you to it."

He felt Shikamaru get up and walk away, joining the group who were all sitting in a tense huddle. Neji bit his lip, running over all the words, tunes and actions to the various songs they'd preformed; not even noticing as Mimi took her leave and silence enveloped them. After a few moments, Shikamaru let out another sigh.

"Right, team huddle or whatever."

Neji slowly stood up and walked over, sitting down on a small stool.

"First and foremost, this is a mission. We all, including me, need to remember that and not get too caught up in it all. The crowd out there are waiting for the main attraction, Rakuhi. We're the starter for the hungry wolves; if we're met with tough opposition that doesn't mean a reporter won't pick us up. We've got to be aware of bottles and cups being thrown, heckling and general attacks. Don't let it put you off. Hikaru's introducing us, and we're going to go Hate Mail, I'll Lie and then Shut Up. If you make a mistake, don't stop. Keep going unless one of us collapses. Got that? I think that's every-"

Shikamaru was interrupted by a knocking at the door. He got up and opened it.

"Attention? Yeah, you're on! Come on, quick quick!"

Neji felt like he was going to throw up for a second as Naruto pulled him to his feet. Neji shook him off, and followed Shikamaru and the man through back corridors until he could see the stage. He swallowed thickly. This was it.

"Keyboard, singer, bass, electric, drum. That order, go!"

Shikamaru visibly straightened his shoulders and strode out, big smile on his face and hand waving to the crowd. Neji swallowed again, mouth as dry as sandpaper and did the same, remembering not to stride. The lights were blinding, shining full on his face and hiding the sea of people he could hear, smell and sense below him. There was a moments silence before the crowd started to cheer, the excitement tangible in the air.

He strode up to the microphone and flicked the on switch, taking a deep breath.

"Hi! We're Attention Deficit Disorder, backing up Rakuhi! My name's Hikaru Hidehiku, I'm a guy-"

He was interrupted by an increase in the screaming, excitement, disbelief and laughter all in one wave of noise.

"... And we're going to blow you away with our first song, Hate Mail!"

There was a second of silence before Naruto started to wham out the now familiar chords and the crowd started to scream again. Neji took a deep breath, the lyrics and melody pouring out of him perfectly, the bright lights making his head swim a bit and the sheer, deafening noise of it all making his head pound to the bass drum's beat.

He could feel the heat rising as he hit the chorus, the crowd swaying and jumping in time to the music as Neji's voice rose and fell, never missing a note. Neji could taste the excitement on his tongue and for a brief moment forgot what he was wearing, the makeup, the crowd, everything. Even, for a few moments, himself. As the song slowed to a halt, the crowd were louder than ever, screaming and shouting. Neji couldn't help the small smile that had crept onto his face.

"This next one is called I'll Lie For The Sake Of It!"

The crowd literally exploded and Neji was happy to see that no-one was throwing bottles at them or anything of that sort. In fact, they seemed to be enjoying themselves. He heard Shikamaru begin to pick out the melody on the keyboard, some kind of reverb making it sound as if they were in a chapel. The crowd quietened, hushed by the lullaby of Shikamaru's fingers.

Neji allowed his eyes to slide closed and began to sing, feeling the words welling up and out of him, making sure his voice didn't clash with the reverb that was rolling around the room. He knew the spotlight was on him and could feel himself start to sweat in the heat of it, snapping open his eyes and fixing the audience with a stare of triumph he found easy to put on as he began the chorus. He felt as if he was flying, his voice becoming his wings as it soared up and down, lingering on high notes with ease before swooping back down. He could feel the lace of the dress on his legs and the tickle of his hair on his bare arms as he slowly came back down from his high, the song drawing to a close.

He stole a quick glance at Shikamaru, glad to see that he was smiling. Neji was slightly out of breath and took a second to catch it before looking at the crowd.

"Alright. Now you've heard our original work, how about a cover of one of those songs people love to hate?"

The crowd went wild. Neji was surprised at how easy he slipped into a different speech pattern and character, not sounding a bit like himself even if the words came from his own brain.

"Do you all know 'Shut Up' by the Black Eyed Peas? Well, you will soon as Shii and I are going to give you a quick duet before handing you over to Rakuhi!"

Shikamaru hit a button on his keyboard and trotted over to take the microphone, smiling and waving as the crowd shrieked with laughter and cheers, flashing a quick thumbs up to Neji. Naruto began to play the opening solo, soon followed by Lee on the drums, Sasuke joining in a few seconds later.

Neji turned away from Shikamaru, starting to sing.

"_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Ooooh... Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Oh no... Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Shut it up, just shut up, shut up!"_

Neji could feel Shikamaru follow him across the stage, following the actions they'd practiced perfectly. Neji turned to Shikamaru and put his hand on his hip, microphone in the other.

"_We're trying to take it slow,_

_But we're still losing control,_

_And we try to make it work,_

_But it still isn't the worst."_

Neji clutched his head in mock agony.

"_And I'm craaazzzy_

_For trying to be your laaadddy._

_I think I'm going crazy!"_

Neji saw Shikamaru mock sigh and shake his head before bringing the microphone up to his own mouth, slowly walking over.

"_Girl, me and you were just fine, you know._

_We wine and dine,-"_

Shikamaru leant over and grabbed his hand and started to swing it. Neji started. This wasn't what they'd practiced!

"_-Did them things that couples do when in love, you know_

_Walks on the beach and stuff, you know._

_Things that lovers say and do_

_I love you boo,-"_

Neji tried to subtly release his hand, looking at Shikamaru's face and slapping on a fake, over the top smile, not letting it slip as Shikamaru pulled him close to his body, bumping his hand against Neji's Mic.

"_I love you too."_

"_I miss you a lot,"_

"_I miss you even more!"_

Shikamaru let go of his hand, much to Neji's relief and turned away, mock anger lacing his features.

"_That's why I flew you out_

_When we was on tour..._

_But then something got out of hand_

_You start yelling when I'm with my friends_

_Even though I had legitimate reasons!"_

Neji stamped his foot, and pointed at him, schooling a look of anger onto his face.

"_Bull shit!"_

"_You know I have to make them evidence!"_

"_Bull shit!"_

"_How could you trust our private lives girl?_

_That's why you don't believe my lies!_

_And quit this lecture."_

Neji shook his head, putting a hand over his ear closest to the audience.

" _Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Shut it up, just shut up, shut up!_

_We're trying to take it slow,_

_But we're still losing control,_

_And we try to make it work,_

_But it still isn't the worst._

_And I'm craaazzzy_

_For trying to be your laaadddy._

_I think I'm going crazy!"_

Neji could feel the anger coursing through him. Shikamaru turned away from him, facing the audience, arms wide.

"_Why does he know she gotta move so fast,_

_Love is progress if you could make it last,_

_Why is it that you just lose control,_

_Every time you agree on taking it slow?"_

Shikamaru shook his head, as if he was seriously confused.

"_So why does it got to be so damn tough?_

_'Cos fools in lust could never get enough of love._

_Showing him the love that you be giving,_

_Changing up your living_

_For a loving transition!"_

Shikamaru snorted and started to make his way back to Neji, who'd been pacing as if agitated.

"_Girl lip so much she trying to get you to listen!_

_Few mad at each other has become our tradition_

_You yell, I yell, everybody yells_

_Got neighbors across the street saying:"_

Naruto took a deep breath, using all his lung power to yell above the noise and into the Mic that Neji was holding to him from a few feet away.

"_Who the hell!?"_

Neji shot him a quick grin as Shikamaru quickly chimed in.

"_Who the hell?_

_What the hell's going down?_

_Too much of the bickering_

_Kill it with the sound and,"_

Neji grabbed at his head again, subconsciously moving with the music.

"_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Ooh, just shut up, shut up._

_We're trying to take it slow,_

_But we're still losing control,_

_And we try to make it work,_

_But it still isn't the worst._

_And I'm craaazzzy_

_For trying to be your laaadddy._

_I think I'm going crazy!"_

Shikamaru and Neji were in the middle of the stage now, Shikamaru stepping closer and closer, a sad look on his face.

"_Girl our love is dying_

_Why can't you stop trying?"_

Neji shrugged, not putting any distance between them.

"_I never been a quitter,_

_But I do deserve better."_

"_Believe me I will do bad_

_Let's forget the past,_

_And let's start this new plan!"_

Neji narrowed his eyes, glaring at Shikamaru.

"_Why? 'Cos it's the same old routine,_

_And then next week I hear them scream!"_

Shikamaru held up his hands in a placating manner.

"_Girl I know you're tired of the things they say-"_

Neji snorted, waving his arm.

"_You're damn right_

_'Cos I heard them lame dame excuses just yesterday!"_

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes.

"_That was a different thing!"_

"_No it ain't!"_

"_That was a different thing!"_

"_No it ain't!"_

"_That was a different thing!"_

Neji felt a real burst of anger flood through him.

"_It was the same damn thing!_

_Same ass excuses!_

_Boy you're useless!_

_Whoooaaaa!"_

Neji's voice ricocheted up and down as he shoved violently Shikamaru away from him with a power that would've sent a normal man flying. Shikamaru, of course, only staggered back a few feet. Neji turned away, clutching his head again.

"_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Shut up, just shut up, shut up._

_Don't go, no, please go, I don't know!"_

Neji turned to Shikamaru and then away again, clutching his chest as Shikamaru held out a hand to him.

"_Stop the talking baby_

_Or I start walking baby._

_Stop the talking baby_

_Or I start walking baby."_

"_Is that all there is?"_

"_Stop the talking baby_

_Or I start walking baby."_

"_Is that all there... Is?"_

The crowd burst into life, clapping and screaming and shouting as Neji felt a sense of euphoria over come him. A real smile slipped onto his face as he turned back to the audience.

"Remember, we're Attention Deficit Disorder and we wish you all a very good night!"

Whistles and screams echoed his words as he clipped the microphone back on it's stand and followed the rest of them off the floor, stage hands bustling in and dismantling their equipment and flashing them grins and thumbs up.

They made it back to their dressing room before Naruto burst into loud whoops.

"DID YOU SEE THAT GUYS?! THEY LOVED US! WE WERE AMAZING! KARU WAS AMAZING! YOUR VOICE WAS FANTASTIC!"

Lee was beaming fit to burst.

"I AGREE, AND THE YOUTH IN THERE WAS OVERWHELMING! I MUST GO TO MORE, I FEEL SO ENERGIZED!"

Even Sasuke had a small smile on his face.

"Well, we weren't thrown off."

Shikamaru was grinning as he slapped them all on the back.

"That was definitely the best we've done. Well done to all of you."

Neji hid his smile and grabbed a cloth and a bottle of water, scrubbing at his face and removing the makeup.

"With any luck we'll be all over the magazines soon, and we should get an Internet fan base. Shino's going to put up our diary dates and hopefully we'll get some ticket orders."

Neji zoned out slightly. Now that the adrenalin rush was fading, he felt shattered. He scrubbed at his eyes again, and tried to listen to what Shikamaru was saying. No doubt it was important and would be essential for the upcoming days. Even though he'd never admit it, the uplifting joy he felt on stage was maybe enough to cancel out some of the slightly less bad things he had to do. But nothing could erase the dress, makeup, eyebrow plucking and Hiyan.

**A/N Ung. Omg. I'm so, so sorry this took so long. My computer melted and I lost all my fics D: I had to re-write this chapter from scratch. It was agony, I had 12 pages DDDD:**

**Still. That's no excuse. Please accept my humble apologies!**

**-Sophie. **

**Who promises to update quicker.**


	6. Parties And A Thought

**A/N Well hi there! First off, I just want to thank you all for your support! Your reviews and hits make me feel really happy, and I'm glad that people seem to be enjoying this fic! Happy happy joy joy :D. It's getting harder to think of beginnings for these things, even as I try to make it so each chapter is a day. Then I finish the chapter, and think, "Shiz. I've got tons more to add, but it's already 25 pages!" So some of them might start where the other left off for a while D:. Sorry if this confuses you xD.**

The small after party was doing Neji's head in. It was far too loud and the smell of cigarette smoke was making him feel slightly ill, not to mention the fact that someone had tried to give him vodka three times now and the constant stink of it was making his head spin. He'd declined the alcohol and just out stared the man until he left, going on to push his poison to someone else. Neji sighed. It was late and he really wanted to go back to the bus and sleep but some fan who had a backstage pass was following him everywhere, even if she didn't have the courage to speak to him, and the others had no intention of leaving just yet. Neji spotted Shikamaru leaning against a far wall and chatting to one of the members of Rakuhi. He sighed and slowly made his way over, dodging stumbling people who seemed determined to knock into him.

"Hey."

Shikamaru raised a lazy hand in greeting, turning to the other man he was with and gesturing towards Neji.

"This is Hikaru. He's our main singer. Karu, this is Ryon. He plays bass for Rakuhi."

Neji did a mini bow.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ryon."

Ryon smiled and waved his hand in an embarrassed manner.

"Ah, no, it's all mine! Your voice is simply amazing, I was in awe!"

Neji felt a small, small flush creep up his cheeks.

"Thank you."

Ryon smiled at him and resumed his conversation with Shikamaru. Neji lent back against the wall, wearily eying the girl who was stuttering a greeting to some member of another band. Shikamaru had warned them that drinking was not going to be tolerated on this mission (Unless it was vital, and even then one was to act drunk, not actually become it,) as only two of them were legally allowed to anyway, and it could very well jeopardize the whole mission's point if something slipped out. Everyone had agreed, even if none of them had any intention of drinking in the first place.

Neji squinted. Someone was dancing madly in the haze of whatever was hanging in air. Someone with shortish black hair, and very quick movements... Neji gasped in horror. It was Lee. Neji lunged forward, tapping Shikamaru three times on the shoulder, a sign they'd made up to warn each other of danger and started to trot towards Lee, Shikamaru following a few seconds later.

"Karu, what's happened?"

"Gai. The fumes. He must be as susceptible to them as actual alcohol."

Shikamaru paled slightly and swore under his breath, both of them putting on a burst of speed. Neji reached Lee first and forced a smile, acting like this was all a joke as he eyed the red patches on Lee's cheeks; just how much had he inhaled?!

"Come on, Gai. Let's get moving."

"Wha-at?! Why?! I'm having fu-u-un!"

Neji kept the smile in place as he grabbed Lee's arm, dragging him backwards with a force used to move trucks.

"Come on. Now."

Lee groaned in protest behind him and tugged his arm away with enough strength to uproot a tree. Neji took a step back and doubled his efforts, grabbing Lee's other arm in the process.

"I mean it. Now."

"Oh ho! I shee now! Do you wish to fight me?"

Neji could feel everyone's eyes on him as he glared at Lee.

"No. I have no intention of fighting you, Gai."

Shikamaru stepped forwards and placed a calming hand on Lee's shoulder.

"Hey, now. Let's not make a fuss."

Lee pouted and crossed his arms, cheeks still a solid red and aching for a fight. Shikamaru leaned in close and whispered something in his ear. Lee's face brightened.

"Alright! Let's go, youthful team-"

Shikamaru clapped a hand over Lee's mouth, Neji quickly catching the fist Lee raised in an attempt to punch Shikamaru in automatic self-defense. Neji winced. That was one strong upward swing. With considerable effort he fought Lee's arm back down, helping Shikamaru to practically drag him out of the small room and into the cold air outside. Neji suppressed a shudder, concentrating on getting Lee onto the bus before something terrible happened.

"Mmpfh!"

Shikamaru still had his hand over Lee's mouth as they bundled him inside the bus, Lee's struggles growing harder and harder to control. Finally, Shikamaru closed the door behind him and let go of Lee who stumbled over to collapse on a chair, falling asleep almost instantly. Neji and Shikamaru sighed in relief.

"I wish I'd known about that... He won't be able to go to the after parties now."

Neji felt a twang of pity for Lee. He didn't think Lee would actually say anything about not being able to go, but he'd get that sad, rejected look on his face that only Gai could get rid of. And seeing as Gai was a long way away...

"Are there going to be consequences for him?"

"No. He didn't let anything slip, and I don't think any of us realized even the fumes would make him drunk. I won't put it in the report."

Shikamaru stretched and sat down at the table.

"Well, at least we got out of that party. It was becoming really boring."

Neji nodded in agreement.

"Sasuke, Shino and Naruto will come back of their own accord, which is fine. I told Shino where we are so he won't worry..."

There was a long silence, broken only by Lee's snores.

Shikamaru sighed again and got up, walking into the bedroom and reappearing with a scroll and some ink.

"I'll write up the report for the first few days now and get Lee to take it to the nearest posting building."

Lee would probably jump at the chance to go for a run, and there was bound to be one near by. There always was if one was close to a Hidden Village, so finding it wouldn't be a problem. Lee would be there and back in a couple of hours. Neji's hand flew out on instinct, catching a roll of paper heading in his direction. He gave Shikamaru a questioning glance.

"Unless you have anything more productive to do than just stand there, why don't you try some lyric writing?"

Neji scowled at the piece of paper and went to sit opposite Shikamaru. He picked up a pen, letting it hover over the paper.

What was he supposed to write? He'd never really listened to music, and only knew a few carols from his brief time in the choir and the ones he'd sung on this mission. Even so, he knew something like tra la la la la I love music la la la la wouldn't quite cut it.

Expressing emotion was something he'd never excelled at. Especially in a way someone else would understand...

"... Why don't you actually write, instead of staring at me?"

Neji blinked, coming to with a tiny start. He'd zoned out, trying to think of something impressive, deep and thought provoking; not noticing that he was staring at Shikamaru's bowed head. Nothing had come to mind. Neji cleared his throat, not quite sure how to reply and looked back down at the blank sheet of paper.

"If you're having real trouble then just change someone else's line and go from there."

Neji leant his chin in the palm of his hand. A line he'd heard before... He glanced over to Peace, back to Shikamaru and finally rested his eyes on the ceiling. Maybe he could use an old proverb or something... He blinked, looked down and the paper and hesitantly started to write. After five minutes, he had a verse. He re-read it, crossed out something and then wrote it back in.

"Well?"

He glanced up at Shikamaru.

"I have four lines."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, putting down his pen and leaning forwards slightly.

"Oh? Can I see?"

Neji nodded and handed the piece of paper over.

"Ignore the words I put a line through."

"Hmn... The best defense is offense so I will bite until I'm through, what will be will always be, I don't want you. Character building strategies, they march through my mind. It's a riddle of sorts and my puzzle of kind."

There was a long silence. Neji, for some reason unknown to even himself, was embarrassed. He leant forward and plucked the paper out of Shikamaru's hands, going to crumple it up.

"H-Hey! Don't do that, Neji!"

Shikamaru recaptured the paper and smoothed it out.

"It's good. I was just surprised, that's all. I didn't mean to make you feel self conscious. But..."

Neji raised an eyebrow, still feeling strangely flustered.

"Change the 'I will' to 'I'll', otherwise it's a little formal... And you need to add a little to the 'I don't want you', or the syllable count doesn't quite match up... How about 'I don't wanna be with you'?"

"Alright."

Neji took back the paper, corrected it and re-read it. Shikamaru was right. It flowed a lot better now. Now all he needed was a few more verses, a chorus, a tune and his part was done.

"How many do I have to write?"

"Well... Tsunade's aides provided us with six songs, and most albums have around fourteen... So you're looking at about eight."

Neji gave him an annoyed look.

"Can't you write one? I'm sure the fans would love to hear you whine instead of me for a change."

"Sure."

Neji blinked; and then narrowed his eyes.

"And the catch is?"

"Whatever I write, you sing."

Neji gave him a look that screamed, are you serious?

"So you could write something like: La la la la I love men tra la la happy happy joy; and I'd have to sing it."

Shikamaru snorted with laughter.

"Hyuuga humor at it's best? Technically, yeah. I could write that and you'd have to sing it, but I'm not that cruel."

Neji ignored the comment on his humor.

"Can I decide after I read the lyrics?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Where's the appeal in making me sing something stupid?"

"You have to ask?"

Neji glared at Shikamaru.

"... Fine, fine. How about I write something perfectly innocent, but you have to sing another song."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think it would be a good idea if we covered a song at the end of each concert. You know, something different each time for the fans. We can even have them vote for one on our site. I get to choose one."

"... That's even more risky. You could make me sing anything!"

"Exactly. But, I'll write two perfectly innocent songs."

"Two and a cover, or one that could be terrible."

Shikamaru nodded, eyes gleaming.

"Tch. Are you sure writing two is not too troublesome for you?"

"Not if I choose a song."

"You're worrying me now."

Neji had never really talked to anyone else in this... Playful manner. It was strange and alien to him, but for some reason he was enjoying it. Shikamaru chuckled.

"It's just a simple matter of weighing up the pros and cons, Neji."

"Can I refuse the song?"

"Nope."

"Ugh."

Neji scrubbed tiredly at his head as Shikamaru smirked at him. He really didn't want to have to write all the songs, and Shikamaru's help would be greatly appreciated...

"Fine. You write two, and I'll sing a cover. But if it's too awful, you have to pick another one."

"Alright. Define 'too awful'."

"Well..."

Neji couldn't think of a terrible song. He'd never listened to music apart from traditional stuff, and had no idea what most modern music was like. He'd never been to a disco or anything like that and he never watched the television. But he had heard one truly terrifying song that Sakura was listening to as he trained against Sasuke.

"I will not sing anything that goes, and I quote, 'Hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend. Hey hey you you think you need a new one.'"

Shikamaru was laughing so hard he nearly fell out his chair.

"How about something that goes, and I quote, 'Man. I feel like a woman?'"

Neji blanched.

"Not under any circumstance."

"'Do it like a lady?'"

"Don't even joke."

Shikamaru regained a little of his composure.

"Alright, alright. I won't make you sing any of those three. But knowing you, you'll turn down almost anything I pick, so how about I choose the song and if you turn it down, we put it on the website and the fans can vote yes or no?"

Neji nodded. He was sure he could somehow rig the voting. Just as he was about to start writing a second verse, the door opened and Sasuke stormed in, face like thunder. Shikamaru got on his feet, eyes wary.

"Sasu, are you alright?"

"I'm fine,"

He spat, and stormed into the bedroom. Neji raised an eyebrow at Shikamaru, who shrugged. A split second later, Naruto came crashing in.

"Hey, you seen Sasu?"

Neji pointed to the bedroom as Shikamaru spoke.

"What happened?"

"Ah, well..."

Naruto grinned and stuck his hand behind his head.

"I was dancing, it was so cool 'cos there were all these girls that wanted to dance with me and it was awesome and there were loads wanting to dance with Sasu too, but he turned them down and just stood there! Anyway, I thought he was looking sad and a bit stupid just standing there so I went over and tried to drag him to dance with one of the girls who was following him, but he said no."

Naruto paused for a breath.

"So I asked him why he wasn't dancing and he said he didn't feel like it and the girl looked sad and went off, but she's fine and was dancing with another guy. So I told Sasu he was being silly and mean and he just glared at me and by this time my girl had left too, and there were people all around us staring 'cos we weren't dancing with anyone and I felt stupid just standing there as we were standing in the middle of the dance..."

Neji bit his lip as Naruto paused again. He had a vague idea what had happened.

"So, I grabbed Sasu and tried to make him dance because I thought people would stop staring and he wasn't pleased and I didn't want him to start shouting or making a fuss because then everyone would think we were disrupting them and I didn't want to get kicked out so I pushed those small points on your neck that make you paralyzed for a few moments until the song was over and then I dragged him off the dance floor..."

There was silence in the bus. Then, Shikamaru burst into laughter.

"Y-You danced with Sasuke?!"

"Well, yeah! I wasn't going to drop him there and run!"

Neji was trying not to snicker.

"Did people stop staring?"

"Uh, well, not really... But I couldn't really see because Sasuke was practically radiating anger and I wanted a clear exit for when it wore off and he went to kill me..."

Neji fought the grin.

"And did he?"

Naruto turned to Neji, looking confused.

"No. That was the really weird thing! He just glared at me, went red and ran off!"

Naruto was right. That was odd.

"I think I upset him..."

Naruto turned from them and went to the bedroom door, knocking on it loudly.

"Sasuke! Open up!"

"Naruto, it doesn't lock."

Naruto blinked.

"Oh yeah."

He opened the door and strode in only to come flying out a second later, bruise already forming on his chin.

"OWWW! SASUKE!"

He leapt up and ran back in. Various scuffling noises followed with yelps of pain from Naruto. Neji rolled his eyes and turned to Shikamaru who sat down, head in hands.

"... Do you think we could order some tranquilizers for Naruto? There will be pictures of them dancing, and if Sasuke really was unable to move, Naruto would have had to hold him quite close..."

Neji snorted with laughter. At least he wasn't the only one who was going to be labeled gay by the newspapers.

"How troublesome..."

"It's not that bad, Shikamaru. At least it will take focus off you and I as a couple."

Shikamaru looked up.

"What, even after the duet plus the photos that will be in the article tomorrow? I'm sorry to break this to you, but we were doomed as soon as the first person asked if we were together."

Neji scowled. He really didn't want to think about that. He huffed and sat down just as Shino walked in.

"I thanked the hosts for inviting us, I apologized for Gai and I apologized that Naru and Sasu left so suddenly."

Shikamaru nodded at Shino.

"Good."

He walked over to Lee and cautiously reached out to shake him, arm coming up instinctively to block a swing from Lee. Shikamaru sighed.

"Can someone pass me some water please?"

Neji grabbed a cup that had been left on the side and filled it up, passing it over to Shikamaru who promptly dumped it on Lee. Neji took a step back, not wanting to get in Lee's way.

"Wake up."

Lee groaned, scrubbing at his eyes and the water on his face.

"Wh-a-t?... What happened?"

Neji almost felt sorry for him as Shikamaru sat down beside him.

"The fumes of the alcohol made you drunk, Lee."

Lee's face crumpled.

"I... I am so, so sorry, Shikamaru... I did not know that I would become intoxicated like that..."

Shikamaru reached out, patting Lee on the shoulder.

"It's alright. None of us knew that that would happen. I haven't put it in the report as you didn't cause any damage, but... I'm afraid that you won't be able to go to these parties, Lee."

If looks could kill, then Lee's would've made an average person burst into tears. Dejection, rejection and sorrow laced his features and even Shikamaru bit his lip, patting his shoulder again.

"Hey, now, Lee... I'm sorry. You can use the time to practice and become an even better drummer, you know?"

Lee nodded, wiping the sad look of his face and clenching his fist in determination.

"Yes! I will work hard in those precious hours! I will become a better drummer!"

Shikamaru nodded, obviously glad that Lee hadn't burst into tears and got up.

"Seeing as it's past midnight, we should get to bed. We should be appearing in the article for Novel Now tomorrow, plus there's bound to be something about us in the papers."

Lee, Neji and Shino nodded, and then looked towards the bedroom. The silence emitting from it was actually scarier than the crashing and banging that had been going on beforehand. Shikamaru sighed and knocked on the door, calling out before he actually entered.

"Hey, you two made up yet?"

"Yeah!"

Shikamaru cautiously opened the door. Sasuke and Naruto were sitting on their own beds, Naruto prodding a large orange pillow he'd bought and Sasuke reading a book, acting as if no-one else was there. Shikamaru walked in, still slightly on guard.

"... So... All has been resolved?"

"Yeah! It's fine!"

Shikamaru nodded. Neji was curious as to how it was resolved, but Sasuke was still gently oozing anger so he thought it best left. Neji grabbed his pajamas and went into the bathroom, changing quickly. He came back in a second later and blinked. Shikamaru had, for some reason, decided to swap sides. Neji wasn't quite sure what to make of this, so he ignored it and climbed in on the other half. Someone – probably Lee as he was nearest the switch – turned the light off, plunging the room into pitch black; except for Neji who's Byakugan allowed a 20 increased visibility rate even in darkness.

Ten minutes later, the was a rustling from Shikamaru and Neji felt an arm being slung over him and a warm weight settle on his chest. Neji grimaced as Shikamaru sighed on his neck. At least he wasn't being jabbed with a pony tail this time. Neji closed his eyes and forced his body into sleep.

It was the cold that woke Neji up. That, and the shout of laughter coming from the kitchen. With a sleepy grumble, he threw the covers off, wondering where Shikamaru had gone and prodded Lee awake; sending a bolt of killing intent and blood lust towards Sasuke, biting back a small smirk as he leapt bolt upright and glared around. It seemed like Naruto and Shikamaru we absent, and that distinguishable bark of laughter was definitely Naruto's. With a sense of dread settling in his stomach, Neji walked into the kitchen.

Naruto was collapsed over the chair, newspaper in one hand and shaking uncontrollably with laughter while Shikamaru clutched a magazine with one hand over his eyes, lips twitching spasmodically. At the sight of Neji, they both burst into more laughter.

To say Neji was slightly pissed off would be an understatement. It was suddenly clear that they were laughing at him.

"I fail to see what's so funny."

Naruto held out the newspaper slowly, Neji grabbing it from his twitching hand and focusing his eyes on the page in front of him.

"Oh..."

It was him. A lot of him. Practically a whole double spread, actually. He blinked. The main one was of him, eyes closed and hair flying behind him as he sang, one hand on his hip and other holding the microphone. There was one of him and Shikamaru holding hands during the duet, one of him shoving Shikamaru away and some more shots of just him, along with choice shots of Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru and Lee too.

"Read the headline."

Neji blinked, tearing his eyes from the picture in which his skirt had ridden up slightly was showing a shameful amount of thigh.

"... Transvestite Takes Stage By Storm."

There was a second of pure silence and absolute stillness before the paper in Neji's hand started to rip as he clenched it in fury. Sasuke stepped up and yanked it from his hands, inspecting it closely before turning it over and reading the article out.

"Fans of the popular music group Rakuhi were treated to a spectacular performance last night at the Center Stage in Tanzaku Gai when an unheard of band took the stage by storm, whipping the crowds into a frenzy before they even started. At first, it looked like your average band, four guys and a girl until said girl clearly announced that she was, in fact, a he. It seemed like some sort of comedy, but the timbre of the voice was definitely male. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was wondering how the music would stand up to the dynamic entry! Fortunately, they were one of the best live bands I've ever seen preform and had definite charisma. The cross dresser for a main singer was certainly a surprise, made welcome by the sheer courage it must've taken and the quality of the music! I certainly hope we'll hear more from this mystery band, Attention Deficit Disorder... Then it goes on to list our website."

There was another short silence before Neji grabbed the paper back, once again inspecting the photo's.

"... How popular is this newspaper?"

Shikamaru grinned.

"The most. And we've got a good review to boot. This is going perfectly."

Actually, Neji thought, this is what he was dreading. These images... Anyone in Konoha would immediately recognize Naruto at least, then Lee, then Sasuke and then Shikamaru. After a bit of deliberation, they'd definitely realize that _that _was him. With a defeated sigh of one accepting something inevitable, Neji let the newspaper fall onto the paper. This was something he would never truly live down.

"What's the article in Novel Now like?"

Shikamaru picked it up, handing it over.

"It's brilliant as well. We've, apparently, got more talent than the Suna Rats and other such huge bands."

Well, at least they were good. It would be more humiliating if they were a terrible band and Neji had to dress like that.

"... And... The photo's?"

Shikamaru smirked.

"Take a look for yourself."

With a heavy heart, Neji opened the magazine, flipping to the pages on them. Large black letters filled most of the screen, showing the band name and one of the group shots. Neji slowly turned the page, almost flinching as the one of him looking like a prostitute assaulted his eyes. If you took out the factor that is was him, it was a good photo. But seeing as that was him, it was terrible.

"... Ugh..."

There were more photos of everyone else, one of Shikamaru smirking devilishly at the camera and one of Sasuke doing the same. Their interview was threaded in between the photos, certain phrases and words underlined. Neji's eyes caught the paragraph were he had had to pretend to be gay, and he quickly skimmed it before blanching.

"... They've... Put that bit about me right next to a photo of us, Shikamaru."

"I know. It makes it look like we're a couple or something."

Shikamaru was laughing gently, and for some reason Neji felt a burst of anger flow through him.

"It's not funny in the slightest! Everyone's going to recognize us and therefore assume we're together!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Don't overreact, Neji. No-one with half a brain is going to think that."

Neji scowled, but didn't argue further. Another argument was pointless. It was obvious Shikamaru didn't care that people would think they were together, and it was no use trying to get that lazy-ass idiot to think otherwise. There was another pause in the conversation as Lee took the paper, flicking through it just as the mobile phone started to ring. Everyone blinked, turned to look at it and then each other before Shino got up, went over and answered it.

"Miyan Murashi, manager of Attention Deficit Disorder speaking, who's calling please?"

Neji glanced over at Shikamaru, raising an eyebrow. Shikamaru shrugged back.

"I see... Yes... I understand... I'll see what I can do. Is there I number I should call back on?... I see. Thank you. Goodbye."

Shino ended the conversation and turned to them.

"A group has canceled their slot at a music festival near the border in the direction we're heading. It's tomorrow and the manager is desperate to get some band in to fill their slot and seems keen for us to preform. It's a thirty minute one, not very large and indoors."

Shikamaru grinned.

"Tell him we'd love to."

Shino nodded, picked up the phone and called back.

" Miyan Murashi, manager of Attention Deficit Disorder speaking, is this Mutsuhito-san? We'd love to take you up in your offer... I see... I'd appreciate it if you did not hand out that personal information, Mutsuhito-san... I see... Yes... Thank you."

Shino hung up again.

"He's going to email us the details."

Shikamaru scratched the back of his head.

"We'd better practice and choose another song to cover. We're going to have to preform around... Six songs, including the cover."

He turned to Neji.

"Duet or solo? Or would you rather wait and find a song, deciding on it then?"

"The latter."

Shikamaru nodded, sending him to go with Shino and pick one. Neji went, sitting down at the computer and letting Shino call up lists of songs for him to listen to and choose from. After ten minutes of fruitless searching, Shikamaru came over.

"Pick something that shows off your talent in singing."

"There's nothing here I'm willing to sing."

Shikamaru sighed and leant over, looking at the list with him. Suddenly, Shikamaru snorted and pointed to one.

"Sing that one."

Neji peered at the screen.

"... Gimme More? Who's Britney Spears?"

He clicked on it, waiting for the music to start. Twenty five seconds in, Neji hit the stop button.

"Please tell me that was a joke."

Shikamaru snickered. Neji hit the back button, going back to the list. A few seconds later, Shikamaru pointed to another one.

"Try that one, Angel by Leona Lewis."

Grudgingly, Neji clicked on the link and dragged the small bar to the middle, starting the song in the middle just in time to hear the chorus. Neji blinked.

"... Did she just say, 'You're a ninja'?"

"... I heard that too. How can you confuse Angel with Ninja?"

Neji shrugged, hitting the back button on the browser.

"No idea. But I'm not singing it."

After another minute of searching, Neji clicked on one that looked promising.

"... Potential Breakup Song?"

"According to my story, I've just ended a relationship."

"That's a good point."

Neji played the song and stopped it about a minute in.

"What are you doing? That one was good, Neji."

"... I beg to differ."

"It would show off your voice, fit your story, we can play it and it was a semi-decent song. Plus, I need to use the computer to print out some of our own songs now. It's that or Britney Spears."

"What? You can't decide that!"

"I can. I'm the team leader. What I say goes, Neji."

Neji scowled, glaring at Shikamaru.

"There's no point glowering. Choose."

Neji huffed angrily and got up.

"Potential Breakup Song."

Shikamaru smirked.

"Good choice. I suggest you go and get changed and then write some more lyrics until practice."

Neji nodded, noticing that he was indeed still in his sleeping clothes. He went through to the bedroom, chose another one of the horrific outfits in his closet and quickly got changed, grabbing the scroll with his lyrics, a pen and finally returning to the main area.

Neji sighed, sat down and read through his lyrics again. After a moment's hesitation he started to write again. He managed to jot down another line which didn't really fit or make sense before Shikamaru stood up, a stack of paper in his hands.

"Right. We've got a set of six songs. We're going to do Hate Mail, I'll Lie, Neji's going to do Potential and that leaves us with three songs to learn for tomorrow. I know this is sudden and hard work, but there's not one amongst us who would not be able to do it. Let's get started as soon as possible with a quick run through of Hate Mail and I'll Lie."

Everyone nodded and reached for their various items. Neji hummed through the tunes under his breath, making sure he still knew all the lyrics and the melodies. After ten minutes of quick, individual practice, Shikamaru ordered them all to get ready. Neji took a deep breath, allowing the music to wash over him as the group played through the two songs almost perfectly. Slightly breathless, Shikamaru turned to Lee at the end of the second song and grinned.

"You've got a real flair for the drums, Lee. The beat you played was far better than the one that's written. Play your one instead of the written one, yeah?"

Lee beamed, nodding enthusiastically. Shino stood up and handed out the papers Shikamaru had given to him. Neji glanced down at his own scores.

"We're going to start with Throw Me The Key, Cling Film Girl and I Can't, I Can't. So, Throw to start. Don't forget to use headphones."

Neji sighed and made his way back into the bedroom, sitting down on his side of the bed and reading through the lyrics, concentrating on memorizing them first, and then working out the tune. As a jounin ninja and a natural genius to boot, it didn't take him more than five minutes to memorize the four sets of new lyrics, repeats, odd breathing and all. The tune was a little more challenging, but, ten minutes later he had them memorized as well. There was that now familiar knock at the door and it swung open, Shikamaru standing in the frame.

"Got them memorized?"

Neji nodded. Shikamaru walked in, sitting on Lee's bed, opposite Neji.

"We need to talk."

Neji raised an eyebrow, confused.

"About what?"

As far as he could tell, everything had been going exactly according to plan.

"About people thinking we're a couple."

Neji blinked, a small wave coursing through him of... Anger? No... Not anger. It was a mixture of embarrassment and... Nervousness? Where had that come from?

"Oh."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Yeah. Well, I did a little research into Inter-Band relationships. Turns out that in our genre, relationships between two guys are quite popular."

Neji blinked.

"Yeah. Don't think you have, but do you know that band Panic! At The Disco?"

Neji shook his head, now throughly confused. He hated being confused.

"What about them?" 

"Well, the main singer and guitarist claim to be straight but play up to the crowds with each other. Fan service, remember?"

"... Mn."

What the hell was Shikamaru suggesting? 

"So, I'm thinking that if our popularity starts to decline, because I'm no good at music I can't really say if our music's anything special, then we should start to act more obviously. The media like a sensation like that, plus the fans, apparently, go wild."

There was a long silence.

"You think that if we start to decline, we should pretend to be in a relationship?"

"Basically, yeah."

"..."

Neji didn't really have an answer to that. Shikamaru shrugged and got up.

"Just a warning."

"... Thank you for that."

"Tch."

Shikamaru turned and walked out. Neji sat there for a full minute, shocked. Shikamaru had just told him to expect a relationship between them. A fake one, but still! He sighed and covered his eyes, rubbing at his forehead. This mission was so, so annoying. He got up, grabbed his sheets of paper and walked into the main area, perfectly calm and collected. It seemed that Sasuke and Shikamaru were once again helping Naruto and Lee, who had both nearly got it. Shikamaru nodded and stood up.

"Alright. Let's go."

They got into their positions and started up, the music shoving the thoughts about any relationship with _anyone_ to the back of his mind.

33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

**In Konoha.**

Sakura lunged for her small phone, quickly keying in Ino's number. It rang twice before Ino picked up.

"Sakura?"

"Ino, listen, I've got dates."

"... Date for wha-... OH! OH! When?! Oi, shut up, brats! Sorry, goddamn academy students are screaming."

Sakura laughed.

"Well they've got one tomorrow, but I've got shifts at the hospital. They've got another one two days after that, in River Country. If we leave the day before, we can take a train and get there on time."

"Brilliant! I'll definitely-- SHUT UP! Keep it open!"

"We need cameras. I've only got enough money to get there, I'm afraid."

"It's alright! We'll take mine!"

"Alright. See you later.

"Yep! Bye!"

Ino hung up and Sakura dropped the phone back on the table, smiling. Her first concert, and Sasuke-kun was playing. And Neji was in drag. She snorted.

God, she was looking forwards to that. All she had to do was beg a few days off from Tsunade.

33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

**On The Bus.**

Neji sank down on the sofa, throat aching. God... This was making his muscles ache more than training did. In fact, nothing short of a fight was this painful! He opened an eye as Shikamaru walked over, two cups of water in his hand. He gave one to Neji and smirked.

"Thought you needed it."

"... Thank you."

Shikamaru shrugged and sat down beside him. They'd decided to have a break for half an hour or so before a little more practice, supper and then bed. Neji could feel Shikamaru's eyes on him.

"... What is it?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"..."

Shikamaru didn't do anything without a reason. Every single move he made was calculated to give the best outcome, so what could he be gaining from just looking at Neji? Shikamaru huffed and looked away, one hand behind his head.

"Wanna play Shogi?"

Neji opened his other eye.

"... Now?"

"Why not?"

"... Alright."

Shikamaru grinned.

"Go get the board."

Neji snorted.

"You get it."

"Too troublesome."

"You want to play, you get it."

"... Please?"

There was a long silence. Then, Neji sighed and got up, getting the board and returning to a grinning Shikamaru.

"One off, Nara. You can at least set it up."

"Sure, whatever."

Neji crossed his arms and sat down again, Shikamaru smirking and setting up the board on the sofa between them. They were silent while they played, the noise of Sasuke and Naruto's guitar hero game and Lee's push-ups drowning out the need for actual conversation. The game was pleasant and slow, each thinking carefully but not going straight for the goal. It was much more fun to just meander along the board, sometimes not even taking pieces for moves and moves.

Despite this, Shikamaru was clearly winning. Neji upped his game, knocking through a line of Shikamaru's defenses and getting him in check. He smirked. He had won.

"Checkmate, Neji."

"... What!?"

Neji blinked, surprised. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and pointed out a formation Neji had never seen before.

"Right here. See?"

"... Damn it. Well done."

Neji hadn't even noticed it being set up. Damn that Nara. All the while he was looking as if he was just playing for the hell of it, he was setting up and killer move! Neji would not drop his guard around Shikamaru ever again during a game.

"Thanks."

Shikamaru got up and stretched, yawning as he did so. His top was a little small for him, fashionable but still too small. As Shikamaru lifted his arms above his head, it rode up slightly, revealing a thin strip of mesh along Shikamaru's stomach. It contrasted nicely with the paleness of his skin, Neji thought. Which was strange, because Shikamaru was quite tanned. Perhaps all that time in the sun had given him that golden loo--.

Neji froze.

What the _hell _was he _thinking_?! He closed his eyes, covered them with his hands and very carefully forgot what he had just been thinking about. It must be the dress. It had to be. There was something in the material that was making his brain think strange and inappropriate things. Perhaps dresses just spawned thoughts like that. Therefore, it wasn't Neji's fault. Neji did not think that. The dress had. Neji nodded. That was a satisfactory hypothesis.

"... Neji, you alright there?"

"Fine."

He got up, avoiding looking at Shikamaru because now he wasn't 100 sure how to react around him and it was the goddamn dresses fault anyway and he probably had something important to do like write lyrics or go smash his head off a wall until he really did forget what he had just thought.

"... Alright then. We're going to practice a little more, and then we're stopping for dinner."

"Fine."

Neji could feel Shikamaru's gaze on him. Neji crossed his arms and walked over to the microphone, picking it up and switching it on. The quicker they got started, the quicker the music would take over his mind and shove any more of those stupid Dress Thoughts out of his brain.

An hour later, Shino decided they were good enough for a concert. Naruto whooped, put down his guitar and ran to the bus driver, babbling about food. Sasuke sighed, rolled his eyes and followed while Lee decided to do some more push-ups.

Actually, Neji thought, that was probably a good idea. He hadn't actually trained in days and his muscles felt heavy and not as responsive as before. When they got to the inevitable fight, it would be pointless if they were so out of shape they couldn't take them out. He turned to Shikamaru.

"I think we should organize training sessions to keep us in shape."

"Sure. That's a good idea. I'll be sure to set aside a couple of hours. We can stop in woods or something and spar."

Neji nodded and turned away again, walking over to Lee.

"Lee."

Lee glanced up and beamed.

"What is it, my eternal rival?"

"Do you wish to spar?"

Lee jumped to his feet.

"In here?!"

Neji nodded.

"We don't move our feet. Hands only. That way we won't break anything."

"Of course! I would love to!"

Neji nodded. They took up their fighting positions.

"On my count. One, two, three!"

Lee leaned in, aiming for Neji's stomach. Neji blocked, other fist coming to the side of Lee's head, fast and furious. Their fists were blurs, hands smashing off hands and neither even getting close to the other's body. It was exhilarating after staying so still for these last few days. Neji shifted his center of gravity and ducked down, sweeping at Lee's legs. Lee managed to block, reaching around to aim for Neji's head. It was exactly what Neji had been expecting. He blocked with his elbow, using the momentum to send his index and third finger jabbing towards Lee's chest. He couldn't block. Neji slowed and tapped the skin covering Lee's heart.

"I win. If I had my chakra, you'd be dead."

Lee beamed and stepped back.

"You are a formidable foe, Neji! I am honored to train with you!"

Neji shook his head, used to comments like that.

"Thank you."

He got to his feet again, grabbing a towel and a clean set of clothes and going into the bathroom. He closed and locked the door behind him, thankful for the peace.

Shikamaru slouched over to Lee.

"You're getting faster."

Lee turned, beaming.

"Thank you, Shikamaru! That's a very kind thing of you to say!"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"It's true. Wouldn't say it if it wasn't."

Lee smiled.

"You don't ever say things you don't mean, do you, Shikamaru."

He smirked.

"Nope. Well, not to my friends. If I'm bluffing an enemy, then yeah."

Lee laughed.

"Of course, of course."

Shikamaru half shrugged and turned around again, walking off. He glanced back.

"You'll beat him one day."

Lee's smile grew even wider, a flush of pink coming to his cheeks.

"Thank you so much for those kind words Shikamaru! I hope I can prove that a genius of Hard Work can beat a Natural Genius!"

Shikamaru nodded and continued walking. He needed a change of clothes. These were too cold. He walked into the bedroom, glancing over at Neji's cupboard and biting back a small laugh. Damn, he was glad he wasn't in a dress.

Neji sighed and opened the door again, showered and changed. He'd kept his hair dry because washing it and straightening it again was too much of a hassle and it didn't really need it. He walked through to the bedroom, needing to put these clothes in the basket for washing. He opened the door and froze. Shikamaru was in the middle of changing and was just about to put a his top on. Thankfully, he was otherwise in a decent state.

"O-Oh. Sorry."

Neji turned to close the door, furiously fighting a blush. What the hell had happened to him!? Why was he blushing?!

"'S all right. I'm nearly done. No need to wait."

Neji stopped. Just walking out would look even more weird. They were both guys. It wasn't as if he'd walked in on Tenten getting changed or something. He winced. He'd done that once too. He was sure he still had the physical scars. The emotional ones would never, ever heal. It was a view he did not want, nor ever wanted again. Very slowly, he turned around and kept his eyes trained on the cupboard. He opened it and stopped. He didn't want to put his clothes back in the cupboard. What the hell was going wrong in his brain!? Which neurones weren't connecting properly. He closed it again and walked over to the basket, dumping his clothes in it. Shikamaru snorted.

"Did your hair eat your brain, Neji?"

His eyes narrowed.

"No."

"Because every genius forgets that dirty clothes go in the washing basket?"

Neji huffed and turned, walking out. He hadn't forgotten dirty clothes go in the basket! He'd just not been thinking at that second and he associated clothing with cupboards, plus – He jumped as Shikamaru grabbed his arm, spinning around and fighting the urge to punch. When the hell had Shikamaru snuck up on him!? When the hell had he let his guard down so much Shikamaru had been _able_ to sneak up on him!? Shikamaru frowned.

"... Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting a little strange since the Shogi game."

Neji blinked. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently.

"I'm fine."

"You're flushed."

"I'm fine!"

Neji yanked his arm out of Shikamaru's grip and walked out, confused and angry. There was _nothing _wrong with him! He was _fine_. He sighed heavily and sat down. When would this mission end? The stupid skirt he was wearing was itchy and frilly and stupid. He looked stupid. He felt stupid. And his brain had died or merged with the dress and he was now stupid as well. The bus slowly ground to a halt and Shino got up, closing the laptop and beckoning to Naruto, who got Sasuke and Shikamaru. Lee was already at the door. With another groan, Neji got to his feet and followed, slipping on a coat. They'd stopped outside a small restaurant. Pretty and secluded. Away from the media. Neji was thankful for that. It meant there wouldn't be anyone filming him as he ate. They got off the bus and walked in. A smiling waiter met them, bowed and introduced himself.

"Good evening. I'm Kaido."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Thanks. Do you have a table for six people?"

"Allow me to go and check."

The man walked off. It was warm in here and the smell of food was making Neji's stomach growl. Kaido returned a second or two later.

"I'm afraid we only have one for four and one for two. I'd set them together, but they're on opposite sides of the room and there's not enough space to maneuver them tonight."

Shikamaru shrugged.

"That's fine. Two of us will just eat separately."

The man smiled at them.

"Then, if you would follow me."

He lead the way, Shikamaru and Neji behind him with the rest trailing along. The space inside was small, but cosy. The man was right. There wasn't enough room to move the tables. Kaido pointed to a small table for two.

"Is this alright for two of you?"

Shikamaru's eyes flickered over the room, probably assessing space and working out escape plans should something go wrong. After a second, he nodded.

"Sure. 'Karu and I will go there."

Neji turned.

"What?"

"I said we'll sit there. We're first, after all."

Neji bit back a complaint. This was surely just another test Fate had sent him.

"Fine."

The man glanced between them.

"Are you sure you are comfortable with this?"

Shikamaru nodded.

"Yeah. Thank you."

He pulled out a chair and sat down. Neji sighed and sat opposite, thanking the man who lead the rest off to another table across the room. Shikamaru leant forward and picked up a menu, scanning through it for a second or two before handing it over to Neji.

"Here."

"Thank you."

Neji took it, read it and chose quickly. He put it down between him, silence falling between them. Neji glanced at Shikamaru and then away again. When had their easy friendship suddenly got so... Awkward? What had happened? It was probably, Neji's brain helpfully added, when you started thinking about the colour of his skin. Neji sighed. He was tired and hungry. That was all.

"I hate to press, but are you sure you're alright?"

Neji's eyes flickered back to Shikamaru, slightly startled to see concern in eyes that were usually bored beyond belief.

"I'm fine. Honestly. A little tired."

There was a second of silence and Neji got the uncomfortable feeling that Shikamaru could see right through him before the Nara nodded and leant back. Neji fought a sigh of relief and looked away again. The waiter bounced over and they placed their orders, thanking the man. Another silence fell. Neji wanted to break the silence. There was silence, and there was Silence. This was Silence. He felt uncomfortable. Never before had he wanted to break a silence. Shikamaru must've sensed his unease because he leant forwards again and started to speak.

"So, I was thinking about making the cover of the songs duets, after this one."

Neji nodded, thankful for words.

"Yes."

"If we're going to play up to the fans a little, then we should duet. I can set my keyboard to automatic play and join you."

Neji nodded again.

"Got any ideas for one?"

"... It's nearing Christmas. We could do a Christmas themed one."

"Mmn, that's a good idea. Do you know any?"

Neji shook his head. He knew very, very little about music.

"Ah... Well... We'll research it."

"Alright."

The silence that fell this time was a lot more comfortable. Seconds later, the waiter bustled over with their food and they spent the next ten or so minutes just eating. It was good. Simple, but filling. Neji felt a little better already. The waiter came back and whisked away their plates, asking if they wanted dessert. Neji shook his head and Shikamaru declined. He glanced over and sighed when he saw Naruto order something. They'd be here a little longer. Neji glanced back to Shikamaru.

"Do you really think it's necessary to pretend to be in a relationship?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I'm not sure. We can 'Drop Hints' and such, but I don't think we'll need to actually say anything."

"Mn."

"If you're really uncomfortable with that, then I'll think of something else."

Neji glanced up from where he was inspecting the table cloth, shocked. Shikamaru had just offered to change his strategy in consideration of Neji's feelings?! That was almost unheard of, especially since Shikamaru knew this one was going to work the best.

"... I'm sure that's not necessary."

Shikamaru smiled and leaned back again, one hand behind his head.

"Good. I was kinda running out of ideas."

Neji snorted.

"I don't believe that. You probably had at least two hundred other ideas."

Shikamaru smirked and beckoned the waiter over for the bill.

"Actually, it was two hundred and fifteen."

Neji snorted again as Shikamaru paid their's and the other's bill, getting up and heading for the door. Neji followed, shivering slightly in the cool night's air. When had it got so dark? They reached the bus and climbed on. Shikamaru shrugged.

"We've got a concert tomorrow and it's late. We should sleep."

Neji nodded and fed Peace, making sure she was alright. It was sad, to see her caged. When they were off this mission, Neji would set her free. Shikamaru walked over, looking at the bird.

"And the caged bird sings of freedom."

Neji turned.

"... What do you mean?"

Shikamaru shrugged again, still looking at the bird.

"It's a poem."

Shikamaru glanced at Neji and started to recite.

"The free bird leaps

on the back of the wind

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wings

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks

down his narrow cage

can seldom see through

his bars of rage

his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with fearful trill

of the things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill for the caged bird

sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze

and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn

and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom."

There was a long silence, Neji staring at Shikamaru.

"... It's called I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou."

Neji swallowed. Nothing... No poem or song or anything had ever affected him as much as this had now.

"... How... Why do you know that poem?"

Shikamaru gave another of his enigmatic half shrugs and turned, walking away.

"Dunno. It reminds me of you, though."

Neji's whole body and brain had crashed as he stared at Shikamaru's retreating back. He knew a poem like that, and it reminded him of Neji!? He was... Shocked. After a few more seconds of just standing there, he glanced over at Peace, who was whistling softly to herself.

"... Do you sing of freedom?"

Neji turned. Had he expected the bird to answer? There must be something wrong with him. Maybe he was sick. He grabbed his pajamas and got changed, walking into the bedroom after everyone else. It was dark, but Neji could still see. He hesitated for a second before he slid into the bed beside Shikamaru.

What had he meant, it reminded him of Neji? He felt Shikamaru move and sighed softly as the now familiar warmth surrounded him. Had Shikamaru memorized it because it reminded him of Neji? Or was this just a coincidence?

Well, whatever it was, he wasn't asking now. Tomorrow, perhaps. He felt his eyes slowly close. He moved his hand so it was resting on Shikamaru's back rather than uncomfortably sticking out at an angle. He was warm. Neji sighed again, drifting off. He didn't think he'd be able to let his guard down this much with anyone else...

**A/N. I'm a terrible person. KILL ME. FOR I AM AWFUL AT UPDATING. KILL ME NOW. I'M SO SORRY ;W;!!!**

**I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AND FORGIVE ME ;w;!**

**R&R?**

**:D Thank you!**


	7. Second Concert And A Date?

**A/N. Hay, hay! I just want to thank you all for the support I'm receiving! Your reviews really press me into updating when my lazy-assed brain is dying xDD!! All your reviews and favs and subscribes are just... WOW. I feel so unworthy! Thank you ALL so much! I hope you continue to enjoy as I put Neji through all 7 shades of Shounen-ai hell 3. Poor Neji. It's all for the best.**

Neji jumped, eyes flying open as he woke from his sleep. Something had brushed his stomach and it had woken him. From the pitch black surrounding them, it was still the middle of the night and he couldn't have been asleep for more than three or so hours. He hurriedly looked over at Shikamaru, working out where he was. Shikamaru seemed to be half lying on Neji, half not. His hand was--.

Neji froze.

Shikamaru's hand was... Under Neji's shirt.

Neji swallowed. What the...!? No! Neji lifted his hand, reaching to move Shikamaru's hand from his stomach, which really begged the question of why the _hell_ it was there in the first place, only to tense up again and twitch as Shikamaru shifted and dragged said hand along and down his side. Neji shoved Shikamaru away almost violently, accidentally pushing himself out of the bed and crashing down onto the floor with a startled 'Oof!' noise. When had he gotten so near the edge?!

That wasn't important.

What the _hell_ had Shikamaru been doing!? Why the hell had his hand been under his shirt!? Surely that could not have been by accident!? What the...!?

Neji got to his feet, breath ever so slightly labored and mind whirling. Shikamaru stirred and sat up, obviously confused and still half asleep.

"... Neji?"

His voice was a whisper, slightly husky. Neji bit his lip, not saying anything.

"... Neji, you there?"

"... Mn."

Neji kept his voice low. He could see Shikamaru raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"... What're you doing?"

"..." Actually, Neji thought, the question is more like what were _you_ doing?! "... Nothing."

"... Then come back."

Neji bit his lip.

"... I'm... Going through to the other room."

He saw Shikamaru's other eyebrow rise.

"What the...? Why?"

Neji shook his head, even though Shikamaru couldn't see it and walked off. He grabbed a blanket from the linen cupboard and went through to the sofa, collapsing down on it, mind racing. What the _hell_ had happened there?! No-one had ever told him what to do when you woke up with your friend's / Team mate's hand under your shirt! God, what the hell had happened to him? This was all this mission's fault. He was going to need therapy after this. At least. He threw the blanket over himself, fully intent on sleeping on the sofa for the rest of the mission.

Two minutes later, Shikamaru came through.

"... Neji?"

Neji sighed, letting Shikamaru know he was there but didn't say anything. He didn't know _what_ to say.

"... Why're you sleepin' on the couch?"

Shikamaru's voice was still heavy with sleep, slightly scratchy and deeper. Neji kept his back to Shikamaru.

"I want to."

"... Well... You can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not comfortable and it isolates you."

Neji snorted. He didn't mind that. He really didn't.

"No it doesn't. I'm perfectly happy here."

Shikamaru sighed and sat down on the chair opposite.

"You're so troublesome... Why did you suddenly decide the couch was better than the bed?"

Neji bristled slightly at the 'troublesome' comment, but still didn't turn around. Well, fine. If Shikamaru _really_ wanted to know.

"... I felt uncomfortable."

"Why? If it's the bed, then I guess we can change positions..."

He could almost hear the reluctance in Shikamaru's voice at that, but was still slightly surprised to feel pleased that he'd at least offered to switch.

"It's nothing to do with the bed."

"Then it's something to do with me."

There was another silence.

"... Mn."

Shikamaru sighed again.

"Why has sharing a bed with me suddenly become such a big deal?"

Neji was tired of this conversation. Actually, he was tired full stop and just wanted to sleep.

"Because you were _touching_ me."

"... I kinda have to if I'm sleeping on you, Neji-"

"Not like that."

There was a pause. Neji, unable to help himself turned around and sat up, glaring at Shikamaru, feeling embarrassed. Which was stupid, because it was Shikamaru who had been touching _him_ and _he_ should be the one feeling humiliated. Not Neji. After all, it wasn't as if Neji _wanted_ Shikamaru to do that! Not at all. Shikamaru looked slightly confused. He was a goddamn genius! Surely he could work out what Neji had meant?!

"... What do you mean?"

Obviously not. Neji felt his eyebrow twitch in annoyance. He had to! He had 200IQ right?!

"... Work it out."

Neji lay back down and turned around. There was a pause.

"... W-Where was I touching you?"

There was a note of panic in Shikamaru's voice.

"... Stomach."

Shikamaru let out a sigh of relief and Neji went slightly redder. Where the hell did Shikamaru think Neji had meant?! Oh god... This was terrible.

"... Well... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"That just makes it worse."

"No. I wasn't intentionally feeling you up--"

"Don't say that."

Shikamaru sighed.

"Look, if it'll make you feel better I'll... Bind my hands behind my back before I go to sleep."

Neji snorted softly and slowly turned, sitting up. The couch was cold and really uncomfortable to lie on, more so than the bed. He didn't say anything.

"... I'm sorry, Neji."

He shrugged, looking away. Shikamaru hadn't meant to. It was... An accident.

"It's alright. Just, please restrain yourself in future."

Shikamaru laughed, getting up. The relief that it had been sorted without a serious fight rang out in his voice.

"Well, with you in the bed it could prove difficult, Neji."

Neji instantly felt heat racing to his cheeks. Shikamaru hadn't _meant_ it. It was a joke, right? ... Right? Neji was so glad it was dark and Shikamaru couldn't see the shade of red Neji had gone. God, he'd had worse said to him from acquaintances and foe alike! Why was Shikamaru's comment making him act like this?! He took a few seconds to carefully delete Shikamaru's comment from his memory, got up and climbed back into the bed. Shikamaru shifted slightly, voice barely more than a murmur.

"D'ya wanna swap?"

Neji bit on his lip for a second, not sure. It might be more comfortable, and at least his stomach wasn't going to be anywhere near Shikamaru's hands, wandering or not.

"... Alright."

He felt one of Shikamaru's hands push his shoulder, making Neji sit up a little before wrapping around his back and pulling him gently down again to rest on Shikamaru. The first thing that came to Neji's mind was that it was even warmer like this, and that he could clearly hear Shikamaru's heartbeat. A steady doku doku sound that made him want to sleep. He sighed, relaxing a little.

Just before he slipped into sleep again, his last thought was how amazingly safe he felt, with two arms that weren't his own wrapped around him and a steady heartbeat that didn't belong to him loud and comforting in his ears.

This time, Neji woke up completely of his own accord. From the light starting to creep through the blacked out windows, it was dawn and he had to move. He sighed softly, eyes still closed and head on Shikamaru's chest which was rising and falling with each breath he took. It was comforting. In a way Neji could not explain. It just... It reminded him that someone else was alive. Although he and Shikamaru both knew Neji could kill him in one hundred different ways with the flick of a finger, should he choose to, and vice-versa. The fact that... That they trusted each other not to do that was... It felt good. To be able to have that trust in a friend. Perhaps, he mused, this was the 'bond' Naruto was always screaming about. Trust. He sighed again because he didn't actually want to move. The bus had stopped, everyone was asleep... He didn't want to move from this warmth...

It took him three seconds to realize that he'd just thought of all that, move quickly and quietly away and pretend that had never happened.

Pretend what had happened? Nothing had happened.

Nothing at all.

With that comfortable thought, Neji lay back down – on his own side of the bed – and tried to fall back asleep. Cold? Hah. Hyuuga Neji could withstand temperature drops of tens of degrees. He was fine.

Absolutely fine.

After a few more minutes of careful blankness of mind, Neji fell back asleep. Then he woke up back in Shikamaru's arms ten minutes later. He scowled at Shikamaru's sleeping form because this stupid, stupid situation was all his fault and got up, grabbing clothes and taking a quick shower, changing and drying and straightening his hair on automatic.

Who cared that it was 5AM?

He sat down on the sofa, desperately trying to think of something other than the bed, and Shikamaru in the-.

Neji stopped, carefully deleted his last sentence and started again.

He desperately tried not to think of how nice it would be to spend five more minutes in bed. Not Shikamaru. In Shi-?

Nope.

Neji got up, face as blank as stone and very carefully got himself a large glass of water, drinking it down quickly. Then, he drank another one. Perhaps he'd explode and be free from all this? It was all the dresses fault. He shot it a quick scowl, noticing it was quite lurid today. Bright pink and white on black... Satin? Ugh... Why him?

He sat back down on the sofa and grabbed the paper and pen from the night before, writing more lyrics. An hour and a half later, he put it back down. There. One set of song lyrics. They were awful, probably didn't make sense but they were done. Shikamaru would look them over and object to anything too disastrous. He yawned, stretching. He was still tired... Hmn... He lay down on the couch, yawning again. Three minutes later, he'd fallen asleep.

"... Kinda cute... ... Like a... ... Sleeps, huh?"

"Dumbass... ... ... Comment will... ... ... You're gay."

"Wh-What?! Bastard... ... ... You're gay... ... One!"

Neji's eyebrow twitched as he slowly started to wake.

"Troublesome... ... ... Both camp."

"Watch it, Nara.. ... ... You."

"Say whatever ... ... ... Sakura."

Neji huffed, scrubbing at his eyes and woke fully.

"What're you talking about?"

He sat up, looking at Sasuke, Naruto and Shikamaru.

"Naruto was commenting on how you look when you sleep. I warned him it would make people think he was gay-"

"Bastard! Shut up! You're the gay one!"

"Excuse me? You have to be the campest guy I've ever seen, barring Sai!"

"Oh, jeez..." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Will you both shut up? You're as gay as each other."

Sasuke glared at him as Neji tried to grasp reality.

"You're the one who always deems girls as 'troublesome'."

"Hmn. You're the one who spent seventeen years turning down every girl who crossed your path."

Sasuke scowled as Naruto jeered.

"..." Neji climbed to his feet, rubbing his eyes again. He'd fallen asleep. Perhaps this was all a dream? He glanced at the clock. 9AM? He'd slept for quite a while. Shino and Lee were in the kitchen, cooking something that from this distance looked edible. The trio behind them had stopped their bickering dead. Neji glanced around. They all looked shocked.

"... What?"

"... Holy crap... None of us have ever had a girlfriend?!"

Everyone froze for a second before all turning to face each other. Shikamaru scratched the back of his head.

"Hmn... That's odd. Statistically, at least one of us should have."

Naruto still looked shocked.

"Have any of us ever been on a date before?"

Shino turned back to his cooking.

"Your calculations are wrong."

Everyone turned to stare at him.

"... What!? What!? You've got a girlfriend, Shino!?"

Naruto was gaping.

"Fiancé."

There was a long, long silence. Shino glanced back around, face still blank.

"It's an arranged marriage."

Everyone was still staring at him. There was another long silence before Shino turned back to his cooking, shoulders slumping minutely.

"You've insulted me now. Are you not meant to be congratulating me?"

At that, everyone seemed to snap out of their shocked trance. Lee thumped Shino on the back, beaming and congratulating for all his worth, Shikamaru calling out his as well while Naruto just gaped at him and Sasuke blinked a few times. Neji scrubbed his eyes one last time before congratulating Shino too and turning to Shikamaru.

"I finished a song."

"Good. Can I see it?"

Neji nodded and handed over the scroll which he'd put on the table before falling asleep again. Shikamaru took it with a small nod of thanks and read it through a couple of times while Neji waited, slightly uncomfortably, for the verdict. Finally, Shikamaru grinned.

"It's good. Really good. But can I suggest a few things?"

Neji nodded as Shikamaru stepped closer, pointing out various little things which Neji changed. He reread it.

"Thank you."

"No problem. One down, seven more to go."

"Five. You said you'd write two."

Shikamaru smirked.

"Yep. And I've worked out the perfect song for you to sing in our next concert."

Neji frowned.

"... What is it?"

"Wait and see."

Shikamaru turned, walking towards the kitchen area where Lee and Shino had finished preparing the food. Neji sighed and followed, bopping Naruto out of his still shocked state. They ate in silence and cleaned away quickly. Neji sighed out, rubbing his forehead.

They had another concert tonight. He'd forgotten...

"All right. We should do some more practice, and then-"

The small mobile phone rang. Shooting it a quizzical glare, Shikamaru picked it up.

"Hello? Oh... Sure."

He handed it over to Neji.

"It's for you."

Neji blinked and slowly took it.

"... Hello...?"

"Hey, Hikaru! It's me, Hiyan."

Oh god.

"... Oh. Hello."

"Ahhh, are you grumpy in the mornings, 'Karu?"

Neji's eyebrow twitched. Shikamaru motioned to put it on loudspeaker. After a second of hesitation, Neji did so.

"No. I was just... Surprised."

"Ah, I see! Good surprised?"

Neji glanced to Shikamaru with a desperate look as Naruto covered his mouth to bite back sniggers. Shikamaru nodded, lips twitching in amusement.

"... Sure."

"Awh, you don't sound it! I think you _are_ cranky in the mornings. Perhaps I should call late at night, hmmn?"

... Oh god... Naruto had his head buried in a cushion now, laughing in silence while Shikamaru and Sasuke sat on the sofa, smirking.

"No, no. Mornings are fine. Is there any reason you called me?"

"No, not really. Just to hear your voice again, in honesty!"

Never had Neji wanted to press the red button so much before.

"... Ah."

Hiyan laughed down the phone.

"So, you've got a concert tonight? I was thinking about going!"

No! Please, don't!

"... Oh."

"Perhaps I could meet you after the show...?"

Neji glanced at Shikamaru again, even more desperate. Shikamaru nodded, hand covering his mouth. After another few seconds, Neji sighed out silently.

"... Sure."

"Really?!"

"Yes."

"That's awesome! Thank you! So, should I wait for you outside, or meet backstage?"

Neji frowned. Did they really have to meet at all?

"... Outside. Wait by the entrance. I'll find you."

"Yay! OK!"

Ugh... Oh god, what had he done?! By this time, Shikamaru was laughing too, Sasuke smirking wildly while Lee looked on politely and Shino blankly.

"It's all right."

"Thanks again, 'Karu! I've got to go now, but I'll see you tonight!"

"Good bye."

"Bye bye!"

Neji hung up, put the phone on the table and clenched his fists.

"... Neji...?"

Neji said nothing, eyes closed in fury.

"... Neji...?"

"What?!"

Shikamaru smirked again.

"Congratulations. You just got a date."

"It's your fault! You made me agree!"

"If you really didn't want to, you would have ignored me."

Neji's glare was enough to send a normal man running. Shikamaru just smirked.

"... I hate you. I really, really do. I hope you go missing nin so I can find you and kill you."

"Now, now. Don't be cranky."

Neji's glare intensified. Shikamaru's smirk faltered a little.

"... It's just a joke."

"I'm not laughing."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"You rarely do. Look, just say you're tired from the concert. Bear with him for half an hour before returning."

Neji closed his eyes and triggered a mental exercise he used when he had trained too hard and was tired and stressed and in pain. After a few seconds he relaxed slightly, breathing out through his mouth and calming himself down.

Half and hour. Just half an hour. Then he could come back here and sleep and pretend it had never happened. He was a Jounin. If the guy tried anything, Neji could disarm him in a second. It wasn't a problem. He just had to do half an hour.

"I'm still angry with you."

Shikamaru stood up.

"Well, put some of that emotion into the music. Come on. We've got a concert tonight. We need to practice."

Neji heaved a sigh and stood up, knowing winning an argument against Shikamaru was not really an option while the rest of the group followed.

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Hiyan grinned, clutching the phone. Yes! He'd gotten a date! Not that he didn't get dates often, it's just that this guy... Well. He was the hottest thing since the sun! And a cross dresser!? How much more kinky did you get?!

Not to mention he had a fantastic voice and an amazingly photogenic body to boot. Hiyan's grin grew. A few more dates, a couple of gifts, a candle-lit dinner or two...

And then...

He chuckled, spinning on one foot.

And then... The bedroom! He shoved the phone back in his pocket, practically skipping down the hall to his Set. And, he added, if Hikaru wasn't so... _Eager_ to go to the bedroom stage, a little alcohol and a trace of something chemical would help him along... Hiyan laughed again. Now all he had to do was secure tickets to tonight's show!

8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8

Neji massaged his aching throat. Was it going to hurt this much every time?! He sighed out, accepting the glass of water from Shikamaru and sat down on the sofa, glad for the break while Sasuke and Naruto prepared lunch.

The bus was racing it's way towards the venue they were booked into, and Neji couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the driver. His job was surely the worst. Well... Neji glared down at his dress. Nearly the worst.

Shikamaru sat down beside him again, nursing his own glass.

"So. How come we found you asleep on the couch this morning, Neji?"

Neji bit down on his lip and looked away.

"... I woke early."

"How early?"

"5AM."

Neji heard Shikamaru sigh.

"... Why?"

"I don't know. I just did. I could not go back to sleep."

"Any reason?"

"No."

"Hmn... Then why won't you look at me?"

Neji scowled but turned to look at him.

"I am."

"Hmn. I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"You've been acting very strangely."

Neji huffed and crossed his arms, sipping his water as calmly as he could.

"I'm fine."

Shikamaru was looking at him with that calculating gaze. Neji looked away again.

"... Sure. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Hmn. Well, what is it?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

They were thankfully interrupted by Naruto announcing lunch. As quickly as he could without making it look suspicious, Neji got to his feet and walked over, grabbing his plate and sitting in a chair between a wall and Lee. A safe distance from Shikamaru. As soon as they'd finished eating, Shikamaru sent them all back to practice for a while before doing another full run through of tonight's show.

Neji was beginning to feel those familiar butterflies in his stomach as he glanced at the clock. The hours had flown by and now it was 7PM. An hour away from the venue, and two from their act. Finally, Shikamaru stopped them, pointing out that any more practice would tire them out and it would be nothing but a counter-productive use of their time. He sent Shino to make sure his lighting was up to scratch, Lee he had enough sticks and skins, Naruto and Sasuke for broken strings and Neji to prepare a small introduction for them this evening, including their website and tour in Suna.

A painfully stressful hour later, they were pulling up to the venue. Neji had the bag full of make-up in his hands and a coat for afterwards, the rest carrying instruments. Shikamaru was first off the coach. The second he hit the ground, cameras were flashing and, a couple of hundred feet away, a long line of people waiting to get into the show started pointing and screaming. Photographers launched themselves upon them, taking photos madly as Shikamaru told them all to wave to the crowds and smile.

The panic grew. Neji swallowed to try and keep himself calm, waving with one hand. Shikamaru was leading them towards the doors, doing a wonderful act of enjoying himself immensely. Naruto was beaming and leaping around, overjoyed that people were screaming in _joy_ from seeing him, and not fear. Him and Lee were right behind Shikamaru, both sending forth bursts of happy energy that were almost infectious. Neji and Sasuke hung back with Shino, slightly more cowed by the attention and the smiles they were forced to wear instead of their usual emotionless facades or frowns. It wasn't that they were nervous, it was just that being in the spotlight wasn't natural or comfortable for them.

Within minutes they were inside and being shown to their dressing room (Shino to the other mangers and tech studio), and then the stage to set up. Neji was glad for the calmness after the screaming outside and concentrated on checking everything was in working order, not looking too closely at the space for millions upon millions of people that could fit in this venue. The butterflies were growing at an alarming rate. Finally, their preparations were complete and they were being ushered back towards the dressing room. He just managed to slip in his contact lenses before there was another knock, another make-up student, another agonizing ten minutes of make-up, and they were waiting to be called. Neji was silent, face itching beneath the power and ooze on his face. It was stupid, he told himself for the millionth time, to be nervous. But nervous he was, and all too soon they were on and Shikamaru was giving him an encouraging pat on the shoulder and leading them all out onto the stage. He swallowed as he stepped up to the microphone, the crowd screaming in delight and recalled his planned introduction.

"Hello and good evening!"

He tried to keep his voice light and happy, not nervous and sharp like it usually was. The crowd screamed again.

"We are AttentionDeficitDisorder and tonight we're here to play for you! I hope you enjoy the show!"

More screaming as Neji nodded to Shikamaru, indicating for him to start.

"This one's called Throw Me The Key."

There was a heartbeat of stillness before Shikamaru came in with Sasuke, the music filling the hall as lights danced over them, Neji sinking back into the music. His voice was filled with reverb, probably the microphone, and rolled around the air, breath-catching in it's beauty. In what seemed like seconds but was actually 3:54 minutes, the song was over and the crowd was going wild. The sense of euphoria was crashing through him as they moved onto the next and the next and the next, the audience clearly loving it.

Finally, it was time for the solo. Neji caught his breath, addressing the crowd.

"Just like last time, we're going to cover another song. This one is called Potential Break-Up Song by Aly and AJ."

The crowd made a noise that was half excitement, half laughter. Neji nodded to himself and started.

"_La la la la la la, _

_la la la la la la, _

_la la la la la la, _

_la la la._"

Shikamaru came in with the keyboard, joining Neji.

"_It took too long, it took too long, it took too long_

_for you to call back, and normally I would just forget that,_

_except for the fact it was my birthday, my stupid birthday._"

He put his hand on his hip and looked away, just like they'd practiced. Naruto and Sasuke and Lee were playing, concentration obvious on their faces.

"_I played along, I played along, I played along,_

_it rolled right off my back, but obviously my armor was cracked,_

_what kind of a boyfriend would forget that? Who would forget that?_"

Neji raised his eyebrows and a hand, addressing the question to the crowd and tossing his hair, stepping forwards and slightly to the right, not noticing it was towards Shikamaru.

"_The type of guy of doesn't see what he has until he leaves, _

_don't let me go,_

_'cause without me you know you're lost, wise up now or pay the cost,_

_soon you will know-_"

He included the changed word from 'she' to 'he' as practiced, glancing over to Shikamaru. Not as practiced.

"_you're not living 'til you're living, living with me,_

_you're not winning 'til you're winning, winning me,_

_you're not getting 'til you're getting, getting to me,_

_you're not living 'til you're living, living with me._"

He realized halfway through he'd turned slightly to Shikamaru, who was giving him a hidden puzzled look. Oh crap. He turned his head away, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks and walked back towards center stage a bit, hardly noticing that the crowd's screams had gotten a little louder at that act.

"_This is the potential breakup song, our album needs just one,_

_oh baby please, please tell me._"

They'd practiced Neji turning to thin air to 'talk' to, but suddenly that seemed stupid. Naruto and Sasuke were too far away. He turned back to Shikamaru, as if addressing him. The crowd's screams got louder again.

"_We got along, we got along, we got along,_

_until you did that. _

_Now all I want is just my stuff back, do you get that?_

_Let me repeat that. I want my stuff back._"

He jabbed his finger at Shikamaru who instantly cottoned on as to what was happening and looked away, as if guilty and upset. Good. This was going fine. The crowd sounded almost hysterical, but he didn't have the time to think about that.

"_You can send it in a box, I don't care just drop it off,_

_I won't be home._

_'Cos without me you know you're lost, _

_minus you I'm better off, soon you will know-_"

He waved his hand in a 'whatever' motion and looked away, half turning his back.

"_you're not living 'til you're living, living with me,_

_you're not winning 'til you're winning, winning me,_

_you're not getting 'til you're getting, getting to me,_

_you're not living 'til you're living, living for me._"

He turned back, gesturing again, a hint of triumph to it and stepping closer to Shikamaru, forgetting about the audience.

"_You can try, you can try. You know I know it'd be a lie._

_Without me you're going to cry. _

_So you'd better think clearly, clearly before you nearly, nearly,_

_bust up this situation that you're going to miss dearly, dearly, come on-_"

Suddenly, Shikamaru half turned to him, still playing the piano and started to sing the second part they'd agreed to leave out. The air between them turned electric, thick.

"_you're not living 'til you're living, living with me,_"

"_You're not living... No!_"

"Y_ou're not winning 'til you're winning, winning me,_"

"_No no no no!_"

"_You're not getting 'til you're getting, getting to me,_"

"_You're not getting... 'Til you're getting!_"

"_You're not living 'til you're living, living for me._"

"_No no, no no, no no..._"

They were close together, the crowd screeching as they continued to play and sing, Neji taking over the whole singing part again.

"_This is the potential breakup song, our album needs just one,_

_oh baby please, please tell me._

_This is the potential makeup song, please just admit you're wrong,_

_which will it be? Which will it be?_"

They were even closer, Neji the only one who could have been moving because Shikamaru was still playing and was now joining in again.

"_La la la la la la,_"

"_La la la la la la,_"

"_La la la la la la, la la la la la, la, la..._"

The song trailed to an end, the crowd still screaming their heads off as Shikamaru winked at Neji and pulled back. Neji snapped out of whatever strange trance he'd fallen into and walked, slightly red faced, back to center stage and tried to smile at the crowd.

"Well, that's all for tonight. Thank you for coming and listening to our music, and I hope you had a good time."

His instincts picked up Shikamaru walking over and putting a hand on his shoulder, ignoring the crescendo of screaming. Shikamaru grabbed the microphone from Neji, speaking into it.

"Yeah. Thanks for coming and listening. Remember, we'll be playing in River Country in two day's time and our website has all the rest of our dates and other information!"

He turned to Neji with a smirk/smile.

"Right, 'Karu?"

What was he playing at?! The crowd went even louder as Neji smiled back.

"Right."

Shikamaru leant in for a second before pulling back and walking off, the rest following and waving one last time. A slightly bemused and, goddamn it, red faced Neji followed too, hurrying offstage to the screaming of the assembled audience. He caught up with Shikamaru back stage and grabbed his arm, spinning him around.

"What the hell was that?!"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and shrugged out of Neji's grip.

"What was what?"

"That... That thing at the end!"

"... I was just going with what you started, Hikaru."

Shikamaru turned away, walking again. Neji could only stare after him, a mix of shock and anger flowing through him until a technician gave him a nudge and told him he was meant to be back in his dressing room. With a haughty glare only someone from a noble family could produce, he stormed into the dressing room, ignoring the rest of the team and concentrated on scrubbing off the rest of the despicable makeup stuck to his face. Naruto and Lee were capering around, joy and excitement obvious while Sasuke and Shikamaru sat on a sofa, calmer but still happy. Neji was the only one in a foul mood.

Going with what he'd started? He hadn't started anything! He hadn't _done_ anything. Perhaps Shikamaru's 'genius' had rotted his brain. Tch. Going with what he'd started. What the hell was that meant to mean? The mobile phone rang. Naruto picked it up.

"'Yello?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the greeting.

"'Karu? Sure. 'Karu! It's for you!"

He chucked the phone over. Neji caught it flawlessly and held it up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey!"

Hiyan. Oh, damn. This just got better and better. He'd forgotten about meeting up.

"Hello."

"Your show was fantastic! Simply amazing! I'm outside the entrance, do you know how long you're going to be?"

If he went out, he'd be attacked by all the people.

"... Go around to the east side. I'll meet you there in ten or so minutes."

"Yay! OK!"

Neji hung up and turned to the group.

"I need to borrow some of your clothes."

"What!? Why?" Naruto pulled a face.

"Because," Neji took a tone as if addressing someone particularly slow and idiotic, "if I go out there dressed like this I will be recognized."

"... Troublesome."

Neji snorted.

"I'm surprised you didn't think this far ahead."

Shikamaru snorted back and smirked.

"Did I say I hadn't? All I said was 'troublesome'. Not 'I didn't think of that'."

"So you've got a magical set of clothing on you, then?"

Neji's tone was sarcastic and snappy. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and reached over, grabbing a bag and chucking it to Neji.

"Not on me. But beside me, yeah."

Neji huffed and caught it, turning and opening it.

"... These are yours."

"Well done."

Neji shot him a glare. Shikamaru continued.

"You've only got skirts and dresses. People except you to be in them. In these, you'll just be another regular guy."

"Hmn."

He ducked behind a curtain thing and got changed, so, so glad to be in trousers. Even if they were a little tight... He tied his hair in it's normal style and made sure his strip of cloth was covering his seal. He walked out, ignored the glances over and went to the door.

"I'll be back on the bus in half an hour."

"Right."

He ignored the lazy wave from Shikamaru and stormed out, creeping down the corridors to avoid being spotted as much as possible. In a few moments, he was outside the east wall. He spotted Hiyan and, with a heavy heart, trudged over to meet him.

"Hello."

Hiyan turned and beamed, throwing his arms around Neji who stiffened up immediately, fighting the urge to shove him away. He was a civilian. A shove would break every rib he had.

"Hello-ooooo!"

Oh god. Neji tried not to throw up from the sickly sweetness of the greeting.

"Hello."

Hiyan squeezed tighter before finally relenting and pulling back.

"Your show was fantastic! It was... Guh! I'm your number one fan, 'Karu! It was superb! Your voice was mind-blowing! I swear I almost orgasmed, it was that good!"

... Ew. Neji fought not to run away. That was... Disgusting.

"... Thank you."

"Are you OK?"

Hiyan leant in, too close for comfort. Neji leant back.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Oooh, OK! I understand! I booked us a table at a small restaurant not far from here. How does a bite to eat sound? I'm sure you must be starving and I bet you can't cook on a bus!"

Neji hesitated for a second before his stomach growled, somewhat loudly. Hiyan laughed and grabbed his wrist.

"Come on. My car's just over here. I promise to have you back soon!"

Neji bit back a sigh and allowed himself to be dragged along. He was a ninja. He could fight off any threat easily, and he was hungry.

"All right. Thank you."

Hiyan smiled again and moved his hand so it was holding Neji's.

"It's my pleasure, 'Karu!"

Neji debated on whether to remove Hiyan's hand or attempt to ignore it, but before he could come to a conclusion he was outside a car and Hiyan was opening the door for him to climb into. He did so and buckled the seatbelt. Hiyan climbed in the other side, still smiling, and started up the engine.

"It's not far from here at all! In fact, only a few moments but it's secluded and very, very pretty."

"Thank you."

Hiyan looked over and with a smile that had taken on an edge that made Neji want to jump out the window, spoke.

"It's my pleasure, 'Karu..."

He turned back to the road. Neji wondered if this had been a wise decision, but again, before he had time to really object they were pulling up outside a small cafe and Hiyan was leading the way, all smiles. Neji was bundled into a seat in the corner of the cafe, Hiyan opposite him. He looked around. It was nice and there was an easy exit. His stomach growled again and Hiyan laughed, handing over a menu.

"Here, 'Karu."

"Thank you."

He took it and flicked through, quickly deciding. Hiyan flipped through his own and put it down, leaning forwards with a smile.

"So, like I was saying, I think your voice is simply fantastic, not to mention you're _very_ good looking."

Neji refused to shy away like he wanted to.

"... Thank you."

Hiyan waved his hand as if trying to wave the thanks away.

"But I couldn't help but notice that you and, um... Shii?"

Neji nodded.

"Yes, Shii, seemed very close."

Neji raised an eyebrow.

"... What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you know... Close! Like, relationship kinda close."

"No! No. There's nothing like that at all!"

Neji's cheeks heated up, a tiny stain of red darkening them.

"Oh, really? You and Shii aren't dating?"

"No!"

Why the hell did everyone seem to think that?!

"So it's just like... Close friendship?"

"Yes. Exactly." Neji paused. "... Why?"

"Oh, no reason! I was just wondering, that's all!" Hiyan beamed at him again. Seconds later, the waiter came over and took their orders, Neji declining Hiyan's offer for some wine.

"You don't drink, 'Karu?"

"No. I don't think much of the taste."

"That's very noble of you in todays world."

"Hmn."

The waiter nodded and walked away, Hiyan turning his full attention back to Neji.

"So... When's your next concert, 'Karu?"

"In two days time, in River Country."

"Ooh! That's kinda far away..."

"Well, I suppose. We are touring in a full circle, after all."

"Is that so? I'm sure I can take some more time off work to come and see you."

Oh god, no!

"Please. Don't trouble yourself. It's perfectly fine."

"No, no! I want to! To tell you the truth, 'Karu, I just can't get enough of you."

Neji prayed the food would arrive and he could leave. Now.

"... That's very kind of you to say so."

"It's not a problem at all! I'm just so glad that we can meet up like this, even though you're famous now."

"Hmn. Yes."

"Awh, are you still tired?"

"Yes."

The food arrived before anything else could be said and they ate in relative silence. The food was good and warm, better than the cold stuff they'd been eating for a while. The atmosphere was nice and relaxed. The only trouble was Hiyan, whose presence was making Neji feel slightly uncomfortable. It was obvious what the man's intentions were, and Neji didn't know how to react. He'd never, ever been in this sort of situation before.

Soon they had finished and their plates were being whisked away.

"Would you like some dessert or coffee?"

"No, thank you. I really am very tired."

"OK then! I understand completely. I guess next time I'll just have to catch you before you get tired, ahahah!"

Neji laughed back, praying there wouldn't be a next time. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the small wallet he'd slipped in the with his money in it. Hiyan shook his head and put his hand over Neji's, stopping him from pulling any money out.

"No, no. I'm paying."

"I really must object, I can't let you pay for--."

"Please. I really do want to. Take it as a gift of appreciation."

He hand on top of Neji's squeezed gently.

"... Thank you. It really is very kind of you."

"It's my pleasure, 'Karu. Besides, if you really feel badly towards it you can pay me back for it at a later date."

Neji had nodded before he realized he'd just signed himself up for another one of these meetings with Hiyan. He felt like banging his head off the table in annoyance.

"All right. Thank you again."

Hiyan grinned like the cat who'd eaten the canary, got the cream and then been patted on the head. He quickly paid for the meal and lead Neji back to the car, letting him in and driving him back to where the bus was parked. Neji had his hand on the door, ready to climb out when a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned, half fearful.

"I had lots of fun tonight, 'Karu. Thank you very much for coming to dinner with me."

"It wasn't a problem."

Was it just him, or was Hiyan getting closer?

"I'm glad you had fun too, 'Karu. I hope we can do this again soon."

Not his imagination. He nodded and fumbled for the handle, needing to escape. His ninja instincts had picked up that the rest of the group was watching from inside the bus.

"Yes, me too. Thank you again."

He undid his seatbelt. Hiyan was even closer, boxing Neji in. He was a civilian, Neji told himself. I am not allowed to hit him in any way. He managed to open the door before Hiyan did what Neji had been dreading and desperately trying to escape. He froze up as he felt lips on his own in a gentle kiss.

His brain threw a fit. No! No! This was not happening! He was not being kissed by another man in a car with his team mates watching! No! Hiyan finally pulled back and Neji scrambled out.

"Th-Thank you. Good bye."

He turned, trying not to run as Hiyan called out a farewell too and drove away. Neji felt faintly ill as he stormed up to the bus, waiting for the door to open. It did so and he strode in, instantly turning to the group.

"Not. A. Single. Word."

Naruto was sniggering loudly, both Sasuke and Shikamaru trying to hide their grins. Lee bounded over, eyes full of unshed tears.

"My eternal rival! You have once again surpassed me and succeeded in gaining your first kiss before I!"

Neji scowled.

"Lee, shut up."

"I am truly sorry, Neji, if I have insulted you!"

Shikamaru butted in, a grin in place.

"That was your first kiss? Unlucky."

"I'm going to bed."

He couldn't stand the teasing. He'd been cornered. Escape unavoidable. He stormed past them and into the bedroom, hurriedly getting changed into his night clothes and slipping under the sheets, desperately trying to go to sleep. A while later and still awake, he heard the rest of the group come in and change and felt the bed dip as Shikamaru climbed in beside him. He clamped his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. The lights went out, a few more good nights called and silence fell.

Soon, he felt hands gently grab his shoulders and haul him backwards, again onto Shikamaru. With a huff, he turned away but finally gave in a few seconds later, allowing himself to be pulled onto Shikamaru's chest. This was so annoying. He was still angry at Shikamaru for that stupid 'what you started' comment and for the first kiss comment, so why was he so readily not fighting him? It didn't make sense, and that annoyed him even more. And the whole Hiyan thing was so annoying too! It was so stupid of him to accidentally say yes to another date with him. Date!? No! It was _not_ a date! It was a friendly dinner. That was all. Just like the one he and Shikamaru had yesterday.

A few moments later, he fell asleep.

**A/N Wahoo! Exams are so nearly over and I finally got this chapter done! I hope you all like!**

**I've also got a mini offer thing :3**

**If there is a song you want Neji and Shikamaru to duet, leave it to me in a review. Make sure to put both the title and artist, so I can look it up and have a listen. I'll choose my top three favorites, and then put those up to be voted for :3**

**So, If you want to see your favorite duet sung by our favorite duo, drop me a quick review :3. The person who got their song picked as the best will also get a cameo appearance! Good luck!**


	8. Radio And A Twist!

**A/N Hey thar! It's me again, bearing more updates~! I hope you're still enjoying and keeping up with this story! Don't forget about the little competition! (Check the end of the last chapter for more details!)**

**Well, you don't want to read my babbling, so onto the chapter!**

With a groggy sigh, Neji grasped Shikamaru's hand and moved it _off_ his thigh and back onto his waist. Really, he mentally complained, that was the fifth time and it was only 3AM. He was seriously considering tying Shikamaru's hands before they slept because it was getting on his nerves to wake up every hour or so because Shikamaru's hand was creeping into areas it shouldn't be. With another groggy huff he fastened his hand around Shikamaru's wrist to keep it in place, and fell asleep.

An hour later, he was woken by an equally drowsy Shikamaru prodding him in the ribs.

"What?"

Neji's voice was thick with sleep as he opened his eyes, looking up at Shikamaru who blinked back.

"... My hand... No cir-" he broke off to yawn, showing rows of white teeth and a pink tongue that, for some reason, caught and held Neji's attention. "Circulation."

"... Huh...?"

"My hand, Neji. You're holding my wrist too tight."

Their voices were low, barely murmurs so as not to wake the others. However, Neji's eyes had locked onto Shikamaru's lips in some sort of strange haze and was watching them as they moved.

"... Huh...?"

Shikamaru gave him a strange look and shook his hand, snapping Neji out of his daze as his arm was jerked too.

"O-Oh."

He abruptly let go as if scalded, looking away in embarrassment. He froze and tensed as he felt a hand on his cheek, turning his head to look back at Shikamaru.

"... You OK...?"

"Fine."

"Sure...? Your breathing and heart rate have accelerated, and you look kinda flushed."

"I'm fine. I just want to sleep."

"... OK..."

He turned away again. What the hell was wrong with him!? This was getting out of hand now. He yawned himself, feeling Shikamaru's chest rumble pleasantly in a small laugh before he dropped off again, too tired to do anything else. He woke up a few more times to remove Shikamaru's hand from his hip, thigh and once (though he was praying that this was just his imagination) his ass. Yet every time this happened he was just too tired to get up and move away from him, too tired to think of doing anything other than just moving the hand and dropping back to sleep.

In the morning whenever he plucked up the courage to confront Shikamaru about these 'incidences' it died on his lips and he turned away, mood gradually worsening. It wasn't made better by one of Hiyan's 'Special Wake-Up Calls' which included him babbling for ten minutes and Neji having to stand there and endure not only him and his 'innocent' statements laced with innuendos, but the snickers and inappropriate comments from his team mates too until he could finally hang up and fling the mobile at the nearest wall in a rare show of extreme anger.

All in all, it wasn't a great start to the day.

_And_ he had to pay for a new mobile out of his money. Two, actually. A private one for himself and a new one for the band. However, Hyuugas didn't sulk no matter how bad the circumstances. Nor did they complain. It was with a perfectly neutral face that he, and the rest of the group, walked into the large mall-type shopping area and bought two small mobile phones; one for himself and one for the group. It was with a perfectly neutral face that he signed several autographs for fans who were up at stupidly early hours and allowed himself to be photoed and it was with a perfectly neutral face that he climbed back on the bus and sat down again. There. Done. No hassle. He gladly handed the mobiles over to Sasuke and Naruto who had been ordered to set them up as Shino and Shikamaru worked out the times for some interview they had today.

Lee sat beside him and after trying to initiate conversation three times, gave up and crossed his legs, sinking into meditation. Neji noted this and decided it was a worthwhile training exercise. Hopefully it would sooth the tremors of mental anger and annoyance which were threatening to make their way onto his face. It was in silence he and Lee sank into their meditations, not noticing Naruto giggling and keying in a number and then a text into his phone. Both their eyes opened as they felt a presence, Neji taking the mobile from Sasuke's proffered hand and frowning as it rang.

... Hiyan. All the calmness he'd recollected disappeared in a second as he snarled softly, hitting the green button. The vivid, shocking, _disgusting _memory of that kiss smacked him.

"What?"

"Hikaru! It's me."

"I know."

"Ooh, you recognize my number now?"

"Yes."

He shook his head at Naruto gestures to put on loudspeaker.

"Cool. I know yours too! Well, both now. Thanks for the text saying that this was your new number, Hikaru~"

"... I didn't send a text."

"Yes you did," he laughed.

His eyebrow twitched.

"..."

"I've got it right here! I'll show you it next time we meet."

"Hmn."

Hiyan smirked down the phone as Neji mentally smacked himself for forgetting to suggest there wouldn't _be_ a next time.

"You're grumpy today, Hikaru. Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?"

Oh, for the love of...

"No. I'm sorry, I'm rather busy. Is there anything else to be said...?"

"Yes, actually. I have wonderful news, 'Hikaru!"

Neji's instincts were telling him to run.

"... Well...?"

"Well, I was speaking to my boss - he's a lovely man, by the way. I must introduce you. I'm sure you'd get on like a house on fire!"

"Naturally."

His tone dripped ice. Shikamaru shot him a small warning glare, which Neji promptly ignored.

"Anyway, as I was saying, I spoke to him and told him what an up and coming band you were, and how I was very, very close to the lead singer."

Thank god he hadn't put it on loudspeaker.

"I wouldn't quite say tha--"

"Mmnhmn! So, I suggested that since you were bringing such interest and how I had your trust, I should come with you on tour!"

...

"... What?"

"I'm coming with you on tour, Hikaru!"

Neji stared straight ahead, face dropping into gloom. No... No!

"Explain what you are talking about."

"Well, I've got a car to follow you from venue to venue as a personal photographer! Isn't it _great_?!"

Neji jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning to blink at a concerned looking Shikamaru. This wasn't good. He'd been in such desolate shock he hadn't noticed the other man's advance.

"..."

"It means we can see each other nearly every day, Hikaru~" his smirk was so loud.

"... I... I'm sure this isn't necess--"

"Well, I've got to go now! But I've packed my bags and I'll catch up with you later tonight."

"... Goodbye."

"Ciao, baby~"

Hiyan hung up. _Baby_!? Neji stared at the phone in disgust.

"... Neji? What's up?"

He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, dropping the phone onto the sofa.

"Hiyan has managed to convince his boss to let him follow our band for their magazine."

"... And this means he's going to be spending a lot of time with us. And therefore you."

"Exactly."

Shikamaru still hadn't removed his hand from Neji's shoulder and Neji hadn't removed it for him, or made any sign he wanted it to go. Neji sighed heavily, scrubbing his face with his hands.

"... Fate surely exists... This is proof enough of my doomed destiny..."

"Doomed destiny. I like it. Write a song about how crap your life is. That's apparently a good theme."

Shikamaru was smile/smirking gently. Neji quickly realized that he was trying to comfort him and not insult him.

"Hmn..."

Shikamaru patted his shoulder in a bracing fashion before shoving his hand back into his pocket, turning to walk away.

"We've got an interview today. Don't forget your stories, OK?"

Naruto groaned.

"Eeeehhh!? Another one, Shikamaru!? With what magazine?!"

Shikamaru smirked.

"It's not with a magazine."

Sasuke tsk'd.

"A newspaper."

"Nope."

"... Television?"

"Nope."

"Radio," Neji butted in. Shikamaru smirked at him.

"Yup."

"A live broadcast or a recording...?"

Shikamaru scratched the back of his head, the whole group listening.

"Originally, it was going to be just a recording, but since we seem to be popular we're being brought on as a 'Surprise Guest' for the listeners. 'Course, they'll all know we're going to be on by now because they want the ratings."

"Are we going to have to preform?"

"Yeah. They want us to do a cover of something."

Neji frowned, arms crossed.

"But all the covers we have we've done."

"Yup."

"... When are we broadcasting?"

"At 6pm."

"... So we've got eight or so hours in which to learn a new song to a playable level."

Shikamaru smirked.

"Clever boy."

Neji's scowl deepened as Shino opened the sheet music site, Naruto and Lee pumping themselves up for the challenge and Sasuke muttering about something under his breath.

"Duet or solo, Neji?"

"... Duet. It would stick more with our style."

"True."

Neji didn't comment when a gentle hand on his back pushed him towards the laptop, Shikamaru following him and not moving away as Shino shifted so they could see the familiar list. Concentration overtook them both as they read through the huge list, Shikamaru's hand unnoticed on Neji's lower back.

"... What about this one..."

Shikamaru pointed, Shino clicked. All three frowned as a big warning sign came up.

'You are not authorized to download this music.'

"""... Perhaps not."""

Shino backtracked. There was another long silence.

"... Try this one."

'You are not authorized to download this music.'

Shino frowned again. You didn't need a log-in... Nor was this really illegal... What was going wrong? Him and Shikamaru fiddled about with cookies and past-data for a few moments, all to no avail.

"Do _none_ of them work?"

Neji scowled in annoyance. This day just got worse and worse.

"It doesn't seem to..."

Shino tried link and after link.

""Ah...!""

One worked. Neji raised an eyebrow.

"... 'Lady Marmalade'?"

Shikamaru started laughing.

"Believe me, Neji, you won't want to sing that one."

"Why not?"

"It's about french female prostitutes."

"... Try another one."

His scowl deepened and deepened as more and more links came up negative.

"This is just ridiculous! We'll have to go to another site."

Shino nodded, opening up another tab in the browser, Lady Marmalade up again in the previous. The computer made a strange noise that didn't sound good.

'Warning. You have detected 5 viruses. Computer will shut down in 180 seconds and counting.'

"""..."""

Shikamaru swore softly.

"Shino, quickly download and print Lady Marmalade!"

"-What?! But we can't do a song about...! Plus, it's for four voices, Shikamaru!"

Shino was already printing as Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"It's that, or nothing."

"Then we should do nothing and apologize!"

"We _can't_."

"Why not?"

"Because the show has a 'Cover Slot'. It's troublesome, but it's one the most popular parts from their show. We can't cut that out without looking bad."

Neji growled.

"How do you propose, then, we sing a song for four with two voices. Sasuke, Naruto and Lee can not sing in the _slightest_."

The Uchiha twitched, pride being verbally battered. Naruto rolled his eyes and Lee looked upset.

"Easy. Dopplegangers."

Neji blinked at him.

"We each make two dopplegangers, sing two voices _and_ instruments?"

"Yup."

"But neither of them can sing! The dopplegangers won't be able to either!"

"Of course they will. Singing's just pitching the voice at certain notes. As long as _you_ can hear them being out of tune you can pitch their voices to make them in tune. Something we can both do with ease."

"What about counter-melodies?! We can't think in two tunes at once, Shikamaru."

"Think of them as a challenge."

Neji resisted the urge to continue arguing, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.

"... Who's going to be who?"

"You take Sasuke. I'll take Naruto."

"Right."

A few seconds later, two Sasukes and two Narutos were in the room. The Naruto stood by Shikamaru and the Sasuke by Neji.

"Alright. Sing a note, pitch Sasuke at the same."

Neji took a deep breath, humming out a very simple middle C. Keeping his mind on the C, he mentally turned to the doppleganger and pitched the same note. The Sasuke vocally wobbled for a second, before hitting the C dead on. Shikamaru smirked.

"Good thing we're geniuses, hmn? Alright, now pitch it a second above."

The Sasuke's voice went up to an E effortlessly. Shikamaru joined in on a G and after a second the Naruto hit the C above Neji dead on. The notes died as Shikamaru and Neji had a second of self satisfaction and smugness.

"Alright, so that wasn't too hard. You know how to play a bass guitar, don't you?"

Neji nodded. "Yes, in theory. I'm sure I can manage."

"Good. We've only got one copy, so we'll have to share. Naruto, Sasuke," he turned to the real ones. "Will make lunch today. Lee, I need you to learn the drum parts with us and Shino, fix the computer."

Naruto grumbled, going to make food as Sasuke followed, Lee bounded over and Shino turned the computer back on and started to try and delete the five viruses. The fake Naruto and Sasuke grouped around Shikamaru, Neji and Lee.

"So, who's going to take which part?" Neji scanned them, none appealing.

"Sasuke can take the first bit."

"... Why...?"

"Because it's a 'rap' bit, and he's the worst singer out of us all. Plus," he added in a low tone, "it's going to be hilarious to hear Sasuke saying 'getting love from the dudes' in a sultry rap."

Neji couldn't hide the small smirk of agreement.

"Yes," he countered, "but you've rapped in concert."

"Mn, but the rap fits Sasuke's character better too."

"Alright. So Sasuke is 'Kim'."

"Mmnhmn... You take 'Christina' and really flaunt your octaves."

"You made that sound unbelievably wrong," Neji said dryly.

"I do try. I'll take 'Mya' and Naruto can take 'Pink'. Alright with you?"

"Fine."

They spent the next ten or so minutes in silence, committing the vocal and drum patterns to memory. Finally, they stood back, Lee dashing off to go to his kit. With a small mutter of 'I can not believe I am being forced to sing this,' Neji started the Sasuke doppleganger.

The real Naruto literally collapsed with laughter no more than three seconds in. Sasuke was a firm shade of pink, staring in horror at his clone rapping in a deep, sultry voice. Neji smirked slightly. Payback time. Oh yes. Revenge was sweet. Shikamaru sniggered, came in too. It was going well, very well in fact. The singing was getting more and more effortless and they didn't have to think of the notes for either of the two voices anymore. It was coming as naturally as breathing. Admittedly, it did take them a bit longer to get it performance ready with the instruments too, Neji sometimes forgetting to play along and Shikamaru sometimes getting a note wrong. But as the interview drew closer and closer, they got better and better. Finally Shikamaru decided it was good enough. Sasuke was a solid, glaring pink at what he was being 'forced' to sing.

"So, Neji, ready for any question they throw at you?"

"Hm? Of course."

Him and Shikamaru were sitting side by side, Neji idly re-coating the ridiculous varnish he had to wear where it had become chipped.

"Good. Remember, don't--"

"-- Get angry and or annoyed when asked about my sexuality, make-up, tights, women's underwear, dresses and or Hiyan."

Shikamaru blinked.

"... Where did the underwear bit come from...?"

"I had a dream in which they were asking me completely idiotic, stupid questions."

"Like whether you wore woman's underwear...?" He was snickering.

"Yes."

"What did you re--"

"-- I said of course I didn't, you idiot!"

Shikamaru was laughing now.

"Suuure."

Neji shot him a glare which would have killed a lesser man. Shikamaru just grinned.

"You're going to have to do your own make-up today."

"... No."

"Neji."

"No. It's radio. No-one's going to see me."

"You have to. You've got an 'image' now. Plus, there might be photographs. Will you do mine too?"

"... You _want _to wear ma--"

"-- I meant the varnish, Neji. Remember? Group image?"

"'Suuure'."

Shikamaru pout/glared at him for a second. Neji snorted, feeling smug. You took whatever victories you could in this situation. He reached for Shikamaru's hand and paused awkwardly, realizing there was no table for him to rest upon.

"... I'll just do this."

Shikamaru leant forwards and placed his hand on Neji's knee. Neji swallowed, tiny tingles of heat spreading out from where Shikamaru's hand was touching him.

"... Alright..."

He swallowed again, mouth oddly dry and knee oddly warm. He leant forwards, the polish black as he delicately held Shikamaru's fingers still and started to paint. The skin was warm and smooth beneath his, that enticing tan obvious against Neji's white skin. Like a woman's, his brain shot at him. Ugh. He _hated _this mission. The _only _bearable part was Shi--.

…

Concentrate on the nails. Concentrate. He carefully blanked his mind and painted flawlessly, Shikamaru swapping hands with ease. Soon they were done and Shikamaru sat back, looking over to the clock.

"4 pm," he said with a sigh. "Nearly time. We'll be there in half an hour."

"I'm not wearing make-up."

"As team leader, I deem it needed for the mission."

… Neji growled.

"Do you just want to see me humiliated!?"

"Not at all, not at all."

Neji's glare was poisonous.

"Then what is it? You _want _to see me in makeup. Is that it?"

Shikamaru glared, went the lightest shade of pink.

"No! Don't be ridiculous."

Neji just very slowly raised an eyebrow.

"I don't! Stop insinuating things like that."

Neji just easily stood and smirked. In a low, quiet voice he said, "I'm not the one who keeps feeling me up in the bed, Shikamaru."

Hah! Take that! He turned, walking into the bathroom to begin the next world war with the makeup bag and its contents. Shikamaru gaped, a funny sort of pale red. Neji didn't bother locking the door, emptying the bag into the sink and starting with the powder foundation. After a minute Shikamaru knocked.

"What...?"

"Can I come in?"

"... Sure."

Neji turned, weird sponge thing in hand. Shikamaru, still pinkish, came in and perched on the edge of the bath / shower.

"What is it?"

Neji turned back to the mirror, applying the stupid makeup like those helpers had. God, he hated this mission.

"I don't _feel you up_!"

Neji remained unflushed. For once.

"You do."

"Do you have any proof of that?!"

"I can set up a camera."

"... I think everyone would be a bit weirded out by it."

Neji shoved the 'foundation' back in the bag. Foundation. For what?! He wasn't building a _house _on his face. Eyeliner next. He sighed, leaning towards the mirror.

"Probably."

"... You don't seem to mind to much."

"About what?"

"Your claim of me 'feeling you up'."

Neji scowled, shooting Shikamaru a small glare as a tiny section of his brain panicked.

"Of course I do. Otherwise I wouldn't keep waking and moving your hands."

"Tch... Well, I'm sorry."

"I thought you thought I was lying."

"I don't think you're _lying_, Neji..."

"But I could be exaggerating?"

"Perhaps..."

"To what gain?"

Mascara...

"... To..."

"Good god," he said drily, "the great Shikamaru Nara stuck for a reason why something happens. Call the press."

"Hah hah."

"I'm not lying or embellishing overtly."

"... Fine. Then I am sorry."

"Apology accepted."

"Tch. Troublesome Hyuuga..."

Shikamaru slouched out.

"Hn."

Neji finished up in the bathroom, coming out fully made-up and sufficiently embarrassed. The next 5 minutes passed in silence, even Lee and Naruto quieter than usual as the bus pulled into the station. They were ushered inside and greeted by the radio host in a room with their instruments. They were sat, waiting to be on air in what seemed like seconds.

"Gooood evening and welcome to Fire Radio! A big shout out to Byako, Kin and Kairai who requested that last song by the Suna Rats! Yes, that was Sand Burn by the Suna Rats. Now, on today's show we have five very, very special guests who came to us in a last minute rush! Please welcome Attention Deficit Disorder!"

Shikamaru leant in towards the microphone.

"Good evening, this is Shii."

Taking their cues, the rest of them introduced themselves.

"Good evening, I am Hikaru."

"Hey!!! I'm Naru!!!"

The tiniest mutter of 'idiot' was picked up over the radio as Sasuke leant in.

"My name is Sasu."

"And I'm Gai!!!!"

Poor Shino sat a long way from the microphone, with the producers.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice!" The man was smiley, jolly and all-round likable. Shikamaru smiled at him.

"Thanks for having us. We've always wanted to go on live radio, so this is a real treat for us."

"Yeah!!! I mean, how cool is it that so many people are listening--"

"--To your idiotic ramblings."

"Oi!!!"

Naruto brandished a fist at Sasuke. Shikamaru leant across and bopped him on the head.

"Behave."

The man laughed as Neji rolled his eyes.

"Remember listeners, the lines are now open and you can ask the band anything you want! Let's go to our first caller... Hello?"

"Hi!!"

A young girl's voice echoed over the speakers.

"And what's your name, sweetheart?"

"My name's Minako!"

"And what's your question?"

"Hikaru-san, what's your favourite colour?"

Neji gave the speaker a weird look.

"My... Favourite colour?"

"Mn!"

"White or a very pale beige..."

"Thank you!!!"

"And to our next caller... Hello?"

This time, a male voice.

"Hi. My name's Ejin."

"Good evening! What's your question?"

"Naru-san..."

"One for me!!!"

"Will you play shirtless at your next concert? I think you're really hot."

Sasuke snorted loudly, Shikamaru and Neji biting their lips to keep quiet as Naruto flushed bright red.

"Th-That's a request!!!"

"I know~ I cheated. But will you? I'm your number one fan."

Sasuke had his hand clamped over his mouth, hiding snickers.

"... Fine~"

"Yay! Thank you, Naru-san!"

He hung up.

"I always knew you were gay, Naru..."

"Oh, like you can talk Sasu!!!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're gayer than Hikaru!"

"... Hey!" Neji glared. "Who was photographed dancing with Naru anyway, hmn?"

"I'm so sorry about this," Shikamaru said to the reporter who just laughed and whispered the ratings were high enough for them to do whatever they wanted, really.

"You know what they say, Sasu~"

"And what is that, Naru?"

"The more you deny it, the more you are~"

"That's complete rubbish--"

"-- You're both gay for each other, now go and get married and live happily ever after and make wonderful music." Shikamaru snapped, his warning glare telling them to shut up as they both started to protest.

"Hahah! You guys are a riot..."

The interview went on with more weird questions, requests and even someone just screaming in a peircing manner down the phone for a while.

"And now, finally, the moment you've all been waiting for... After this song AttentionDeficitDisorder will be playing their live cover...!"

He pressed a button, music going out to the listeners.

"Ah, can I use the bathroom before we go on?"

"Of course."

"Me too."

Sasuke and Naruto stood, walking out. Shikamaru nodded to Neji and completely flawlessly and without notice, they conjured two dopplegangers and made them walk back in as Naruto and Sasuke. The real Naruto and Sasuke had, in desperation, hidden in the only free toilet cubicle. It was tiny.

"Teme," Naruto hissed, "you're standing on my foot!"

"It's that or the bin, dobe!!"

"_Move_ teme! It hurts!!"

He growled, pressing against Naruto's chest in an effort to move his foot. He slipped, clinging to Naruto who also lost his balance and fell back, dragging Sasuke with him as he landed to sit on the (thankfully) down lid of the toilet, pulling Sasuke down to straddle his lap.

"..."

"..."

Someone knocked.

"Are you OK in there...?"

"... I'm fine! Just lost my balance, heh!"

Sasuke stayed silent, lifting his feet so if they peeked under they would only see Naruto's feet.

"... OK..."

Sasuke _glared._

"I'm going to kill you," he mouthed.

"Bite me," Naruto mouthed back.

They were pressed embarrassingly close together, Sasuke bracing himself with his hands against the walls to keep his balance, nose just inches away from Naruto's as he straddled the blond's lap. His hands slipped a little, making a 'skree' noise.

"... Are you sure you're--"

"--Fine!" Naruto kept his voice even and happy even as Sasuke let go of the wall and wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck to keep his balance, chest to chest and legs around Naruto's hips.

Oh good god. He was never going to live this one down.

Naruto had gone a funny shade of red, his own hands moving awkwardly to settle on Sasuke's hips. They stayed silent as the man in the bathroom started calling someone on his mobile phone, obviously not planning to leave any time soon. Naruto licked his lips, breath soft over Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke's breath was stirring the fine, blond strands of Naruto's hair, hands splayed flat on his shoulder blades.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, wriggling to try and get more comfortable. This was so _awkward_!!! It was ridiculous. Naruto sucked in a sharp breath, eyes going wide as Sasuke flexed in his lap. His fingers dug into Sasuke's hip as he tried to keep him still because _goddamn it _it was going to get very awkward very fast if Sasuke moved again!

"Dobe! Let go of me, goddamn it!" Sasuke whispered in his ear, low and gravelly. Naruto clamped his eyes shut, bright red.

"T-Teme, stop fucking wriggling!!!"

"My fucking legs are cramping!"

"Deal with it!!"

Sasuke, however, didn't deal with it. He wriggled, pressing forwards in the most delicious manner right into Naruto's groin. Naruto froze with a soft, horrified noise of embarrassment. Sasuke froze, coal black eyes going wide with abject horror.

"... Na-"

"-Just don't... Please."

Naruto was tomato red, eyes clamped shut in shame. He wished he could just curl up and die, right here and right now. Actually, it didn't really matter because Sasuke was going to brutally murder him anyway for this.

"... You-... You're..."

Sasuke was staying very, very still. Naruto's head was hanging the best it could in the tiny cramped space between them, his voice a harsh, almost silent, whisper.

"I-It's your fault!! I told you to stop w-wriggling, goddamnit...!"

Sasuke bit his lip. This was awkward and most certainly unexpected but Naruto looked so scared and terrified and dejected it was making his mind crash and blank and he was_ not _smashing Naruto across the jaw and leaping out of the cubicle, pushing past the guy (who was still on his bloody phone) and running for the hills. Naruto's hands awkwardly dropped to hang down beside him, breathing fast and irregular. Sasuke swallowed.

"... Look, we'll... We'll just... Not move and, urh... Forget it happened. Right?"

Naruto nodded miserably, heat from embarrassment and that stupid little niggle of lust still making his face burn.

"R-Right."

"Right."

**In The Studio**

The DJ smiled at Neji, Shikamaru, Lee and the two dopplegangers, pointing to the set up instruments and speaking into his microphone.

"We are now in the Live Room where our guests today are about to reveal and play the cover song of their choice, live and just for you!"

Everyone was in position, Neji and Shikamaru with looks of intense concentration on their faces, ready and primed to do this. Even though (in Neji's very right opinion) it was stupid and annoying and embarrassing and _stupid._

"Hikaru! What is your cover song for us?"

Neji cleared his throat, leaning forwards to speak directly into the microphone.

"... We decided to something a little humorous. Lady Marmalade from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack."

The man laughed, almost in disbelief.

"W-Wow! Well, we've certainly never had that song before, and definitely not by a boy-band! Good luck!"

There was a second of silence before 'Sasuke' started up.

"_Where's all my soul sisters? Lemme hear ya flow, sisters."_

The radio DJ was fighting for a straight face and failing miserably. Neji mentally sighed. When they killed all those goddamn murderers and when he'd exacted his deadly revenge on Hiyan (after the mission, of course) it would all be worth it... It would all be worth it...

"_Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister,_

_Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister."_

Shikamaru was singing now, eyes closed in concentration as he played.

"_He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge, strutting her stuff on the street._

_She said, 'Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?' Oh! uh huh..."_

Neji could feel his cheeks flame with embarrassment as all four voices joined for the chorus, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek as he concentrated on playing and singing double.

"_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada,_

_hey hey hey!_

_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here,_

_here!_

_Mocha Chocalata ya ya,_

_oh yeah...!_

_Creole lady Marmalade..."_

Despite the fact the song made Neji want to curl up and die in a pit, he was starting to get into the music. He couldn't help but feel a little detached due to the sheer level of concentration he had to have, but it was coming easier now. The DJ was laughing in a corner, enjoying the show as the voices split apart a little before coming back together. All in all, Neji dimly concluded, he and Shikamaru were pretty damn good.

And shameless, in the Nara's case. But mostly genius.

"_What what, what what,_

_ooh oh...!"_

And here was the worst bit... Neji almost grimaced and for a second Sasuke's note wobbled.

"_Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?_

_Voulez vous coucher avec moi?_

_Yea yea yea yea..."_

Naruto, who in truth couldn't sing a note, burst into his solo, Shikamaru's face drawn in utmost concentration.

"_He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up,_

_boy drank all that Magnolia wine._

_All her black satin sheets, suede's, dark greens_

_yeah!"_

Neji caught Shikamaru's eyes for a second and a flash of communication passed between them, Neji silently, wordlessly and without showing it at all congratulating him for pulling that off so well. Shikamaru just smirked, fingers a blur over the keyboard and Naruto's keeping up perfectly on the guitar.

"_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada,_

_da-da-da!_

_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here,_

_here ohooh yea yeah!_

_Mocha Choca lata ya ya,_

_yea!_

_Creole lady Marmalade..."_

A bead of sweat slipped down Neji's forehead. The assistant watched his screen in amazement. 500,000 listeners... 500,300 listeners... The number was growing and growing, more than they'd ever had.

"_Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Ce soir,_

_Voulez vous coucher avec moi?"_

Neji was pushing his voice a little, singing in an almost permanent falsetto. He was going to need something to drink after this, he dimly noted as he swallowed awkwardly. It was a good thing 'Sasuke' was doing the singing for the next section...

"_Yea yea uh,_

_he come through with the money and the garter bags,_

_I let him know we got that cake straight out of the gate uh,"_

What the hell did that even _mean_?!

"_We independent women, some mistake us for whores_

_I'm sayin', why spend mine when I can spend yours?_

_Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry,_

_I'm gonna keep playing these cats out like Atari._

_Wear ideal shoes, get love from the dudes,"_

That bit there made up for it. Sasuke would be forever immortalized saying 'get love from the dudes' and 'some mistake us for whores'. It almost made it worth it.

"_Four bad ass guys from the Moulin Rouge."_

Almost.

And then it was them all singing again, Neji's throat tickling.

"_Hey sisters, soul sisters, better get that dough sisters!"_

And then Sasuke again, deep and low and sultry into the microphone.

"_We drink wine with diamonds in the glass_

_by the case, the meaning of expensive taste..."_

Neji steeled himself for his solo, voice getting louder as he climbed octaves with breath-taking precision and clearness.

"_If you wanna Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya,_

_Mocha Chocalate-a what?_

_Real Lady Marmalade...!_

_One more time C'mon now!_

_Marmalade... Lady Marmalade... Marmalade...!"_

Neji flushed a little. He _hated_ this bit more than the stupid french, slowly going a solid shade of pink in dread.

"_Hey Hey Hey!_

_Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth,_

_color of cafe au lait alright._

_Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried,_

_More-more-more!"_

Both Naruto and Shikamaru missed their notes ever so slightly as Neji gritted his mental teeth and 'gasped' out the 'more-more-more'. He felt dirty just _singing_ that. Neji glanced over to Shikamaru who was red faced and fighting to keep singing and playing. Good, Neji thought with some satisfaction. I'm not the only one humiliated. The end of this horror show was so close he could almost taste it. Naruto cut in again, loud and clear.

"_Now he's back home doin' nine to five...!"_

Neji caught the twitch of Shikamaru's eyebrow signaling his intense concentration as he cut in, his sharp voice oddly melodic.

"_Sleepin' the grey flannel life..."_

Neji's stomach twisted as his bit came up again, leaning in to the microphone.

"_But when he turns off to sleep memories creep... More-more-more...!"_

Again, Shikamaru and Naruto oh-so subtly missed their notes as Neji once again gasped out those last three words, a small flush rising to his cheeks as he did so. He could feel himself sweating under the makeup, a niggle in the afterthought of his brain which was detached from his body.

… But it wasn't the same as the stage. It was harder to loose himself there. His insides tightened at that, a small frown twisting a note. It wasn't as if he _liked_ to perform on stage. He hated it, actually. So... Why was there that same thrill, that same rush that there was whenever he fought...?

"_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada,_

_da-da-da!_

_Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here,_

_here ohooh yea yeah!_

_Mocha Choca lata ya ya,_

_yea!_

_Creole lady Marmalade...!"_

He was hitting the huge notes, his voice _perfect _and without a single wobble, reaching higher and higher, purer and purer. This was it... This was the end...

"_Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Ce soir,_

_Voulez vous coucher avec moi?_

_Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Ce soir,_

_Voulez vous coucher avec moi?"_

The other voices dropped out, just leaving Neji's to finish the altered ending. He clamped his eyes shut, the music fading out as he concentrated.

"_Creole lady Marmalade...!"_

His voice was going insane, ricocheting up and down the scales like Lee training in a small space, his voice so strong and powerful that it needed no backup. However, Neji slightly misjudged his breath-capacity, and, as he looked over to Shikamaru in relief that the song was over, the last bit came out in a breathless, low gasp.

"_Yess-ahh..."_

Shikamaru almost tripped over his own foot as he flushed, eyes widening for a second as that undeniably erotic sound echoed out around the studio. He whipped his head around, looking the other way a second of awkward silence filled the room before applause burst into life.

"And that was AttentionDeficitDisorder, singing a simply amazing rendition of Lady Marmalade!!!"

The present looked ready to wet himself in excitement, one eye on the ratings and the other looking on in awe as the band put away the instruments and regrouped, a subtle diversion and the real Sasuke and Naruto were back in the room, not looking at each other and unusually quiet.

- - - - -

"Hey... You heard this?"

"Yeah... Seems pretty fucking good, right?"

"Ehehehh... Yeah... I wouldn't mind a bit of that one..."

"Ahaahhah... I hear ya... What do you all think? Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"... Got it. After all, we did pay for it... Ehehh..."

- - - - - -

"We could always send Shino to get some takeaway," Naruto groaned, throwing down salad with a huff. "Get us some proper food!! Come on, Shikamaru, please! I'm //starving//!!"

"And yet you're not making any progress on supper." Shikamaru pointed out, drily.

"That's because this supper is shit! Come on, Shikamaru! We've got tons of money!!"

Neji rolled his eyes in the bathroom, hearing the argument from there as he sandpapered his face clean and took out the goddamn contacts. He'd 'borrowed' a pair of Shikamaru's trousers and had turned a ludicrously sparkly white top inside out. Jeans and T-shirt. Not something he'd wear, but hell, it was better than a skirt. Anything was better than a skirt.

"Money we need to keep instead of an emergency."

"_One_ takeaway! In celebration!"

"Of what?"

"Today! Shino can get them!!"

Suddenly, Neji's mobile phone buzzed into life. His eyebrow twitched as he watched it vibrate across the sink, ignoring it.

A few minutes later, it buzzed again.

And again.

And ag-- Shikamaru shoved his head around the door, picked up the annoying thing, answered the call, and handed it to Neji.

"Hiyan wants to talk to you."

A small vein throbbed in his temple as he clenched his teeth and shot Shikamaru the deadliest glare he could. Neji snatched the phone from him and pressed it to his ear.

"What."

"'Hikaru! I didn't see you after your amazing radio performance."

"I know." I planned it thus.

"Oh well, we must have missed each other..."

"Yes. Such a shame," he added almost bitterly, walking into the main bit where everyone was silent. Trying to eavesdrop. Hiyan didn't seem to notice.

"Mmn! So, anyway, I was thinking why don't I come over and do some promotional photos of you guys in your bus!"

"Photos are not a good idea right now. I don't have any of my stuff on."

There was a second of silence before Naruto burst out laughing, causing Neji to jump and stare at him for a second.

"Y-You're naked?!"

Hiyan's voice rang loud and clear as Neji pulled the phone back to gape at it in horror. Shikamaru was trying his hardest not to laugh, lips twitching in a merry dance.

"... _What_!? No! I am not--... No!"

"O-Oh! But it sounded like...!"

"-I meant the makeup and the dress," he growled, covering his eyes. "I am dressed."

"... Oh..."

The disappointment was unmistakeable. The phone creaked as Neji's hand tightened in disgust.

"So no. Not tonight." Not ever.

"Awh... Well... How about I come round for just a drink?"

"I don't--"

Naruto grabbed the phone from Neji.

"--Bring takeaway for us and you can come over!!"

"H-Hey! Naru, right?! Sure~!"

"_Naru_," Neji hissed, looking incandescent with rage, "what the _hell _are you doing?! Give it back."

"Awesome!! See you soon! We've stopped just off the main road, 20 miles from Irugana!"

"See you then~ Bye!"

Hiyan hung up before Neji could tell him to leave them alone. Naruto didn't have time to hang up before Neji punched him to the ground in a rare show of rage that was (annoyingly) becoming more frequent.

"_OWWWW_!!!!"

Naruto howled, leaping back up and swinging at Neji. Shikamaru grabbed his fists.

"Stop. Right now. No fighting."

"HE PUNCHED ME!!!"

"You deserved it!!"

"Shut up! Both of you!"

Shikamaru glared at them both.

"Naruto, you shouldn't have done that. It was rude and reckless. Neji, calm down. We'll all be here."

"Except if you two start getting it on again," Sasuke drawled with a smirk, sitting on the sofa balanced on Lee's back as he did pushups.

"Lee, you've got to stop that," Shikamaru said as Neji bristled, seething.

"We were not _getting it on_, Sasuke."

"It sure looked like it."

"Then you're blind, and a moron."

Sasuke scoffed. "Sure. The kissing wasn't a clue at all..."

"-He forced himself on me!!"

"You're a Shinobi."

"And he's a civilian! I can't fight back without breaking his body."

Sasuke just scoffed again, leaving. "Anyway... I'll leave you two love-birds to it."

Neji scowled, hands fists. Never had he wanted to hit Sasuke as bad as he did now.

"... Calm it. Neji. Relax. This'll all be over soon," Shikamaru murmured, leaving him too.

"Hn."

Soon enough, Hiyan arrived with arms laden with bags of food and a few good bottles of sake. He grinned, sweeping his dusky blonde hair back and winking at the beaming Naruto. "I come bearing gifts~"

"Get in!" Naruto grabbed the food. "Finally! A decent meal! Ooi, Teme, help me set this all up!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, standing and doing so as Neji tried to awkwardly hide, flashing a quick, fake and awkward smile as Hiyan sidled up to him and draped an arm around his waist. His flesh prickled with disgust.

"Hey, baby...~"

"Hello," he gritted out.

"You look sexy in this get up too, you know~"

"Thank you."

Hiyan dragged them over to the sofa, forcing them both to sit as Neji helplessly had to go with it, ignoring the snickers of the rest of them.

"So, I heard your cover song!"

"Wonderful."

"I have to say, that bit at the end...~" He shuddered in a way that made Neji want to smash his face in.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, of course you do! That _moan._"

…

"What moan?"

"Right at the end!"

"... I don't know what you mean."

Hiyan drew out his phone, flicking through the expensive thing until he found the song. "Listen...!" He shifted closer, one hand landing on Neji's – thankfully – clothed thigh.

And there, at the end of the song, was a moan. From him. Neji's cheeks dotted with an awkward, embarrassed flush.

"... I didn't mean to... I hadn't realized..." He looked to Shikamaru, who was deliberately not looking. In fact, Shikamaru looked as tense as he did.

"Well you did, and it was hot~" Hiyan smirked, his face far too close to Neji's for comfort as he pulled away a little.

"Mhn." He wanted to escape so badly. Luckily, Naruto had pity on him and brought over the food, everyone gathering around to eat.

Neji couldn't shake the creepy, bad feeling he had with Hiyan even as the man laughed and joked with everyone. Only Shikamaru didn't seem taken in by his charm. Neji's skin crawled, Hiyan brushing his shoulder or his thigh every so often. Lee went to bed as soon as the sake was cracked out, hollering about youthful beauty sleep.

"Hikaru...~?" Hiyan offered a cup.

"No thank you."

"Awh, come on! Everyone else is drinking!"

"I don't like alcohol."

"Coward," Sasuke murmured with a smirk.

… Neji snatched the glass, glaring at him as Hiyan smirked, shuffling closer.

"Cheers!" He held his glass up, everyone following before they all knocked back the shot. Neji did so a second after, grimacing at the _foul _taste. The spirit turned to fire in his stomach, making his head reel a little.

"Woah... This is good stuff," Shikamaru murmured, looking impressed.

"Well, I thought I'd go the full deal," Hiyan laughed, draping an arm around Neji and pouring him a second drink. "Drink up, drink up! In celebration for tonight!"

"Cheers to that!" Naruto laughed, knocking back another one.

"Idiot..." Sasuke murmured, knocking back his too.

"What did you call me?!"

"Nothing~" 

Their glasses were refilled, Neji sighing as he sipped his drink. The evening wore on, Neji's cheeks taking on a permanent spot of colour in each one. Naruto was drunk, laughing at nothing and even Sasuke was smirking more. Shino had retired, Shikamaru nursing a drink and watching Neji uselessly try to fight Hiyan's hands.

"It's pretty late," Shikamaru said finally. "We should all get going to bed."

Hiyan sighed before putting his drink down and standing, pulling a tipsy – and still annoyed – Neji up too. "Alright...! Hopefully I'll see you guys again soon. You lot are a bunch of fun," he grinned.

"See ya, Hiyan~!" Naruto laughed.

"Come and say goodbye to me, Hikaru," Hiyan smirked, dragging the unwilling Neji to the door. Shikamaru rolled his eyes as Neji steadied himself on the door frame, Hiyan standing on the single step down and smirking up at Neji the tiniest bit. His vision was funny and foggy through the lenses he'd put back in, the alcohol very strong for a first time drinker..

"Well... I'll see you again soon, Hikaru."

"Mmn. Goodbye--"

A strong hand cupped the back off his head and pulled him down and before he could even react, two lips were pressing against his own. His eyes widened, whole body freezing up. The alcohol made his reactions slow and clumsy, his attempt to pull away pushing them closer at first. Hiyan gently broke away, stroking the nape of Neji's neck and smirking.

"... Goodbye...~"

He left, leaving a red and gaping Neji staring after him. After a second, he slowly closed the door before punching it clumsily, almost missing.

"_Goddamnit!!!"_

Hiyan had got him again. Sasuke and Naruto laughed as Neji seethed, glaring as he stormed past in a wobbly line and into the bedroom, yanking off his clothes and climbing in. Shikamaru joined him a moment later.

"... If you didn't want him to kiss you, you should have dodged."

"I didn't know he was going to," Neji slurred out through gritted teeth, still a little drunk.

Shikamaru turned to Neji, tugging him to face him. His breath caught, eyes narrowing softly as he looked at Shikamaru's face in the barely there light. The smell of alcohol clung to them.

"Wasn't it obvious?"

"Not to me...!"

"Come on, Neji. It's easy to tell."

He blinked, watching Shikamaru move closer. "No, it's not."

"Sure it is. You can just move away..."

… Neji shivered, frowning in confusion as Shikamaru tilted his head, close. Really close.

"Yes... If I had known..."

"... How couldn't you have...?"

"I don't know things like that."

"Isn't it obvious?!"

"No...!"

"Like hell... I think there's something more..."

"... Pardon?" Neji bristled.

"I think you want him to kiss you," Shikamaru murmured, eyes watching.

…

"What...?!"

"Otherwise, you'd dodge."

"I told you, I don't--"

. . .

His speech was stopped by Shikamaru moving forwards and kissing him. Neji's eyes went wide, the alcohol slamming around his system.

What. The hell.

**A/N Shoot me. I haven't updated for 2 or so years. I'm so awful D:**

**I just want to say thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, anything at all! Thank you for keeping this story alive!! Your kind reviews really pushed me into finishing the chapter, and starting the next!**

**Thank you all again!! I couldn't do it without you OwO Thanks to Kayla for helping me beta a bit of this~**


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